Monica: Who the wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes.
Monica: Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
Ross: All right, here. Let me hold him for a sec. There. here we go. Huh? There we are. -Monica: Maybe it's me.
Ross: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Cranky pants.
注释：cranky：古怪的; 怪异的; 脾气坏的。
Chandler: You know, I once dated a Miss Cranky pants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.
Ross: There we go, all better. -Monica: There's my little boy. -Chandler: Can I see something? -Joey: Cool.
Monica: He hates me. My nephew hates me.
Ross: Come on, don't do this.
Monica: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
Chandler: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem?
Chandler: I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Monica: Here you go. -Chandler: oh, hey, Mon. -Joey: waaah. Goo, goo, goo, waaah!
Monica: That is so funny. Let me see that thing.
Joey: Are you OK, Ross? -Ross: I don't know. What's in this pie?
Monica: Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, and lime, kiwi— -Ross: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Monica: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special. -Ross: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.
Monica: No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god.
Ross: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse. -Monica: OK, alright. Is your tongue swelling up? -Ross: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.
Monica: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.
Joey: Is he gonna be OK? -Monica: Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot.
Ross: You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone up for Scrabble?
Monica: Jacket now. -Ross: What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital. -Chandler: We'll watch him. -Ross: I don't think so.
Joey: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
Chandler: Well I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
Ross: OK, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
Joey: Hat, milk, got it. -Ross:...-Joey: Consider it done.
Chandler: You understood that? -Joey: Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue. -Chandler: Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
Phoebe: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower. -Rachel: OK.
Phoebe: I'm in the shower And I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy and my hair is wet. And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget.
Terry: Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see ya for a minute? -Rachel: What's up?
Terry: F.Y.I. . I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie something. She's supposed to be very good.
Rachel: But what about Phoebe? -Terry: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad,...she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain...and swirl it around.
Rachel: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her. -Terry: Huh. -Rachel: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
Phoebe: Lather, rinse, repeat. And lather, rinse, repeat. And lather, rinse, repeat. As needed.
Chandler: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
Joey: I'm telling you It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all right? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing.
Joey: Quick, aim him at that pack of babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. Wait, forget them. We got one. Hard left.
Joey: -Give me the baby. -Chandler: -No, I got him. -Joey: Come on, seriously. -Chandler: Oh, seriously. you want him?
Caroline: Hello. And who is this little cutie pie? -Chandler: Well, don't, don't think me immodest, but, me?
Joey: You wanna smell him? -Caroline: I assume we're talking about the baby now. -Joey: Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
Caroline: I think my uterus just skipped a beat. -Joey: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? -Caroline: I think it's great you guys are doing this. -Chandler: Well, we are great guys.
Caroline: You know, my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. What agency did you two go through?