Chandler and Joey: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on the bus. Is he here? Is he here?
Transit authority guy: He's here. I'm assuming one of you is the father.
That's me. -I'm him. -Chandler: Actually, uh, we're both the father.
Both: Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy! -Chandler: Please tell me you know which one is our baby.
Joey: That one has ducks on his T-shirt and this one has clowns. And Ben is definitely wearing ducks, or clowns.
Joey: Oh, wait. That one is definitely Ben! Remember he had that cute little mole by his mouth!
Chandler: Hey, Ben, remember us? Okay, the mole came off. What're we gonna do? What're we gonna do?
Joey: Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Chandler: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby? -Joey: You got a better idea?
Chandler: All right, call it in the air. -Joey: Heads. -Chandler: Heads it is.
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something.
Joey: Right. OK, OK, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
Stephanie: Just call me angel of the morning, angel. Just touch my cheek Before you leave me, baby. Just call me angel Of the morning, angel.
Then slowly turn away. I won't beg you to stay with me.
Rachel: oh, hey. Here. I thought you might be cold. -Phoebe: Thank you. -Rachel: Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well.
Phoebe: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, Just to get the ball rolling and to make myself feel better.
Rachel: Do you? -Phoebe: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me.
Phoebe: You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom.
Phoebe: So you know, now I just feel really bad for smelly Cat.
Rachel: Well, you know, honey, I don't think everybody gets smelly Cat.
Rachel: You know, I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then, whoosh!
Phoebe: It's not even that. you know. it's just, I used to do my songs because it made me happy. but now it's like, it's just all about the money. you know...
Rachel: Well, people missed you in there. And in fact, there was actually a request for "smelly Cat".
Phoebe: Really? From who? -Rachel: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
Kid: Hi. Uh, did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency.
Phoebe: Yeah. Here you go. -Kid: Thanks a lot. Hey Christine, I got it!
Ross: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I, I almost broke your hand.
Monica: That's OK. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
Ross: Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
Monica: Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?
Monica: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
Ross: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes and you hit your head on the curb?
Monica: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
Ross: I hope Ben has a little sister. -Monica: Yeah. I hope she can kick his ass.
Ross: I'm gonna get a new band-aid.
Ross: Hey, how about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken? -Monica: That was you?
Ross: They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
Monica: Aw, my little nephew. Come here, little one. There's my little baby Ben. Hey, he's not crying!
Chandler: Hey, he's not crying. -Joey: Yes! There's still pie.
Ross: I'm here. I'm here. How's my little boy? You want Daddy to change your diaper? I know, I know.
Ross: So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Joey: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
Ross: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
喔，好耶，大男生坐公车喔。我有个问题耶。他的小屁♥ 股上为什么会有 “失物招领”这些字？
Chandler: You, you are gonna love this.
Ross: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
Chandler: Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run!
Stephanie: smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you?
Phoebe: No, no. I'm sorry, it's: smelly cat, smelly cat
Stephanie: smelly cat, smel-ly cat...-Phoebe: Better. Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah, much better. And you know what, don't feel bad, because it's a hard song.
Stephanie: Yeah. -Phoebe: You wanna try it again? -Stephanie: Yeah. From the top?
Phoebe: OK, there is no top. That's the beauty of "smelly Cat." Um, why don't you just follow me? -Stephanie: OK.
Together: smelly Cat, smelly Cat, What are they feeding you? smelly cat, smelly cat. It's not your fault -Phoebe: That's too much. -Stephanie: Sorry.