Chandler: My diary! My diary! That's Brilliant!
Chandler: I should have told her it was my diary, she never wouldn't have made me read her my diary.
Monica: You know, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.
Phoebe: I cannot believe Ross even made this list. -Monica: I know. -Phoebe: What a dinkus!
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Monica: What? -Phoebe: What?
Chandler: Oh, good. I was hoping that would come up.
Monica: This was your idea? -Chandler: All right. Let's get some perspective here. Okay? These things, they happen for a reason.
Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right. Pheebs, back me up here, okay? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Phoebe: By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
Ross: Rach! Hey! Open up! Please?
Rachel: When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means,"Go away." It doesn't mean,"Please climb up the fire escape."
Ross: I just want to read you something, it's your "Pro List." -Rachel: Not interested.
Ross: Okay, okay. "Number one: the way you cry at game shows.
Ross: Number two: how much you love your friends.
Ross: Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous.
Ross: Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over.
Ross: Number five: how great you are with Ben.
Ross: Number six: the way you smell."
Joey: Hey, Ross. What are you doing?
Ross: Hey, Joey. You want to open the window? -Joey: Oh, yeah.
Chandler: What are you doing out there? -Ross: I'm....
Monica: Oh my gosh. You must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice, steaming cup of hot Macholate?
Ross: Rach. Come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on. You gotta give me another chance. -Rachel: No.
Ross: No? -Rachel: That's what I said.
Chandler: Maybe we should go. -Rachel: No. You guys, you really don't have to go. We're done talking.
Ross: Rach, come on, I know how you must...-Rachel: No! You don't, Ross.
Rachel: Imagine the worst things you think about yourself.
Rachel: Now how would you feel if the one person you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too...but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
Ross: No, but, but, see, I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
Rachel: Oh, well, that's mighty big of you. Ross. I said, don't go!
Ross: You know what? You know what? If things were the other way around, there is nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not wanna be with you.
Rachel: Well, then I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
Joey: I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again. Yon know? Maybe a little longer.
Monica: Now in some of these recipes, the quantities may seem just a little unusual. Like these coconut Macholate holiday nut bars?
Monica: I've indicated four cups of coconut and four cups of crushed nuts and only one tablespoon of Macholate.
Mr. Rastatter: Doesn't matter. -Monica: What?
Mr. Rastatter: Our FDA approval didn't come through. Something about laboratory rats.
Monica: Gosh, I'm sorry. -Mr. Rastatter: Yeah. Well. Anyhoo, here's your check.
Mr. Rastatter: Thank you for all the trouble you went through.
Mr. Rastatter: Listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you? -Monica: Well, I ate some.
Mr. Rastatter: Oh, that's fine, some is fine. Some is not a lot. -Monica: Okay...
Mr. Rastatter: So it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?
Monica: Hello? -Ross: Hi...
Rachel: Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down.
Monica: Listen, I don't think this is the best time.
Ross: Look, can, can you do something for me? --Monica: Sure. What?... Okay... All right.
Monica: Music? -Rachel: Sure.
Radio: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross.
Radio: Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did, and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him.
Music: See the stones set in your eyes. See the thorn twist in your side. I'll wait for you.
Sleight of hand and twist of fate. On a bed of nails she makes me wait. And I'll wait without you...
Radio: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling. And, Ross, if you're listening, I don't want to play your song anymore.
Radio: Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car, and she hopes you two will work it out.
Music: There's a room where I can go. And tell my secrets to. In my room. In my room...
Mr. Rastatter: Hi. Thanks for coming in again. -Monica: Not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Mr. Rastatter: It's like I'm looking in a mirror. Anyway, they're called Fish-tachios.
Mr. Rastatter: They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits.
Mr. Rastatter: Here, try one.
Monica: All right. -Mr. Rastatter: You're not allergic to anything? Are you?
Monica: Cat hair. -Mr. Rastatter: Oh, sorry.