Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
Joey: Hey. - Chandler & Rachel: Hey.
Joey: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
Chandler: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
Monica: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.
Chandler: And twenty-five it is.
Joey: You gave him cookies?
Monica: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares...All right, we're broke, but cookies do say that.
Phoebe: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Chandler: Pheebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?
Phoebe: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
并不特别啊。但我觉得里面有♥ 大♥ 麻♥ 。
Ross: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?
Rachel: Uhh, the mailman, the super...
Monica: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.
Joey: Oh my God.
Joey: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
Rachel: Ooh, gosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
Monica: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
Ross: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bite me bite me bite me bite me.
Joey: I can't believe it's Christmas already. You know, I mean, one day your eating turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leaping and you geese are a-laying.
Chandler: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.
Ross: Hey guys. -All: Hey.
Ross: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. I'll open it.
Ross: It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's...just a big spring. Alright, you're still mad at me because of the whole...
Rachel: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
Ross: How about from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
Ross: Here, go nuts.
Ross: Hey guys. -All: Hey.
Chandler: What's in the bag?
Ross: Um, just some presents.
Joey: Come on show us what you bought...You know you want to.
Ross: OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
Monica: Uh, that's cute.
Ross: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Monica: Ross, that is gorgeous! -Ross: Yeah?
Monica: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.
Phoebe: Hey. -All: Hey. Hi Pheebs.
Phoebe: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. Oh my God, where did you get this?
Ross: Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.
Phoebe: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
Chandler: Nah, Pheebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
Phoebe: No it isn't, this is my dad, all right, I'll show you.
Rachel: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
Phoebe: No, that's my step-dad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
Rachel: How have you never been on Oprah?
Phoebe: OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.
Monica: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
Phoebe: It's not a blue screen...it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my Grandmother.
Monica: Oh, wait a minute honey. -All: Phoebs.
Joey: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me...
Joey: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
Grandmother: Esther Livingston. Gone.
Grandmother: Hi, Phoe.
Phoebe: Hi Gram. Whatcha doing?
Grandmother: Oh, just updating the phonebook.
Phoebe: Um, Gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
Grandmother: Oh. Oh, sure, sure, uh, uh, how come?
Phoebe: Just, you know, to see...um.
Grandmother: Oh, sure, yeah. This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation...another graduation...another graduation.
Phoebe: OK, is this really my father?
Grandmother: Is it really your fa--I can't...well of course it is.
Phoebe: I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
Grandmother: Look, I...
Phoebe: You know, in all the years that we have been grandmather and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Grandmother: All right, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
Phoebe: Oh God.
Grandmother: It was your mother's idea.
那是你♥ 妈♥ 的♥ 主意。
Grandmother: You know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't wanna go along with it, but, well then she died and-and it was harder to argue with her.
Grandmother: Not impossible, but harder.
Phoebe: All right, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
Grandmother: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
Phoebe: OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Grandmother: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this.
Grandmother: This is the real him.
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