Or I'm late.
不管怎样 大家好 我很高兴你们来了
Either way, hello. I'm glad you're here.
Let me, uh, get you caught up to speed.
Earlier in the week, my mother came to me in a panic.
Mom, you scared the tea out of me.
Tara's renewing her vows.
I wanted to make sure you're okay.
Why wouldn't I be okay?
Because your best friend's getting two weddings,
and you've never had one.
And you're 39.
Why are we whispering?
Thought I had more time.
My mother's been extra worried about my single status
since my father died,
which was super hard on both of us.
I want to go to sleep and never wake up.
I think I want to open a cat café.
So, I did.
I quit my unfulfilling job as a math professor,
and I opened Kat's Cat Café,
where I have two great employees who are super helpful.
Whoever thinks of a good name for our new cat
gets an extra paid sick day.
How about "Pudding,"
'cause I could just eat him with a spoon?
How about "Firework,"
'cause it looks like one exploded in his ass?
- I like that. - That's pretty good.
I think he's purr-fect.
Now on with our show.
真是太好吃了 菲尔 我这吃的是什么
This is so good, Phil. What am I eating?
Well, my mama used to make it for us kids on the holidays.
We thought the burnt coconut looked like hair,
so we called it "Mama's Hairy Pie."
Put it on the menu, but let's change the name.
嘿 凯特 这是寄给你的
Hey, Kat, this came for you.
This is the invitation to my friend Tara's renewal-of-vows ceremony.
Wait. My RSVP card says
"Ms. Katharine Edith Silver and,"
and then there's this line.
Does that mean I get a plus-one?
Looks like it.
This is so exciting!
I never get a plus-one.
They're withheld from single people like a public shaming.
Since you're not dating anybody, you should just go alone
and have fun flirting with all the single men at the party.
That's one of my favorite games.
I call it "Catch and Release."
Well, you obviously don't live with social anxiety like I do.
Did I tell you a guy got into my car yesterday,
thinking it was an Uber?
I didn't want to make him feel bad,
so I just drove him all the way to the airport.
Ooh, it says the reception will be held
in the Crystal Ballroom at The Brown Hotel.
Ooh, The Brown is the most iconic hotel in Louisville.
Elizabeth Taylor lost an emerald
out of her peacock brooch there one time.
-菲尔 你没事吧 -我...
- Phil, are okay? - I'm...
没事 我... 抱歉
No, I... I'm sorry.
It's just that Marty's work party was supposed to be there,
and I was so excited about dancing at the Crystal Ballroom.
But then he came home
and said he'd met that young buck at Big Lots!
Who sold him a broom and swept him off his feet.
I'm so sorry, Phil.
It's my own fault. I asked him to buy the broom.
I hate seeing people sad.
They look like wounded baby birds.
I just want to tape a little Popsicle stick to that broken wing.
Here I go.
Would you do me the honor of being my plus-one?
不可能吧 你在开玩笑吗 凯特
Get out of town. Are you kidding me, Kat?
Nope. Not kidding. And we'll have a lot more fun
than you would've had at a stupid work party
'cause this is a stupid renewing-their-vows ceremony.
Plus, you'll be with me.
Oh, thank you, Kat.
Can I call my mama and tell her
I'm going to the Crystal Ballroom?
Hey, Mama, guess what.
Gosh, I wonder what it's like
to be excited to call your mom.
One root beer, please.
I'll be with you in a minute, sir.
Not the first time that's happened.
Due to my low, resonant voice,
I often get mistaken for a man on the phone.
And once on video chat.
Oh, I am so sorr...
That was meant for you.
So, how are you? What are you doing with your life?
I just got back into town, and Carter gave me a job
so I'd have an answer to questions like that.
Hey, do not let her behind the bar.
She likes to play with the soda gun.
I wasn't playing with it.
I was inventing a new drink.
I don't go to your café and invent new cats.
You know what list you're on.
It's not a good list.
So what's going on with you?
Oh, I'm, uh... I'm meeting Tara here to discuss her wedding.
Her second wedding to her first husband.
I think she might be a wedding hoarder.
So, are you married?
Yeah. Yes, of course.
Oh, cool. You have kids?
Yeah, I got two of those rascals.
There's Orlando and, uh, Bloom.
This is what I was talking about.
This is social anxiety.
What about you?
No, not married.
Yeah, me neither.
You just said you were.
Divorced now. No kids.
What happened to the kids?
Well, that's a funny story, Max.
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