八十年代
Back in the '80s,
汤姆·克鲁斯在经典青少年电影《乖仔也疯狂》中
Tom Cruise danced, dove, and crashed his way into our hearts
跳舞 潜水 一路冲进我们的心
in the classic teen movie "risky business."
他是不♥穿♥长裤 穿着短袜的派对狂人
He was a pantless, partying badass in tube socks.
对我哥巴瑞来说
But for my brother, Barry,
《乖仔也疯狂》不仅是部电影
"Risky business" wasn't just a movie.
而是人生计划
It was a plan for life.
见鬼 妈给地板打蜡了 再来一次
Dang it! Mom waxed the floor. I'm going again.
不应该穿鞋
Shoes were a bad idea.
再来
Going again.
关于克鲁斯式滑地板我是怎么说的
What did I tell you about Tom Cruising the floor, huh?
太危险了
It's incredibly risky.
危险 这才是重点
Risky. That's the point.
我是认真的 巴瑞
I mean it, Barry.
取下墨镜 看着我的眼睛
Take those sunglasses off and look me in the eye.
你想摔破头吗
Do you want to crack your head open?
不再克鲁斯式滑地板 说
No Tom Cruising. Say it.
不再克鲁斯式滑地板
No Tom Cruising.
口气要像不想要脑损伤的人
Say it like someone who doesn't want brain damage.
不再克鲁斯式滑地板
No Tom Cruising.
几年以来
For years,
巴瑞对"乖仔也疯狂"的生活念念不忘
all Barry wanted was to live "risky business."
他的机会终于来了
And he finally got his shot
多亏他那叛逆 坏影响的女友
thanks to his rebellious, bad-influence girlfriend,
兰妮·路易斯
Lainey Lewis.
保时捷 无可替代
Porsche. There is no substitute.
伙计
Dude.
太性感太棒了
This is super hot and awesome,
你♥爸♥会杀了你的
but your dad's gonna kill you.
我爸去参加
Actually, my dad just left
亚特兰大的地板商大会
for a flooring convention in atlanta.
他给了我很多披萨钱 加两条规定
He gave me a buttload of pizza money and two rules --
不准开保时捷 不准开派对
No driving his porsche and no parties.
车开了 派对还没
One down, one to go.
瑞贝卡·德·莫妮啊 终于成真了
Sweet Rebecca De Mornay, it's happening!
《乖仔也疯狂》女主
我们要办一场超劲爆的"乖仔也疯狂"派对
We're gonna throw a real, live kick-ass "risky business" party!
爱丽卡 我们需要啤酒桶
Erica, we need a keg stat.
兰妮 后面去
Lainey, jump in back.
大甜甜来开车
Big tasty's taking the wheel.
我的腿动不了
I can't move my legs.
我不应该在后面 为什么这么热
I don't belong back here. Why is it so hot?!
空调对着我
Turn the vents on me.
我的天 拜托别再抱怨了
My god, please stop whining!
但这本应该是我"乖仔也疯狂"的时刻
But this was supposed to be my "risky business" moment.
我是汤姆·克鲁斯
I'm Tom Cruise.
不 你是电影中坐在后面的怪胎
No, you're the weird guy in the movie who sits in the back.
玩鼻屎的那个吗 放屁
The dude who played booger? That's bullcrap.
我不是 你才是
I'm not booger. You be booger.
抽筋 腿抽筋了
Cramp! Leg cramp!
-我的大肌腱肌肉太多 -你做什么
My hamstrings are too muscular. What are you doing?
我得伸展一下
I got to stretch out.
坐在后面做个乖鼻屎
Just sit there like a good booger!
别踩着换档器
Get your foot off the gear shift!
我在努力
I'm trying!
谁都不要动
Nobody move!
我只动一点
I'm just gonna move a little.
巴瑞 别动
Barry! Don't move.
别担心 我像忍♥者一样
Don't worry. I'm like a ninja.
我得
I'm just gonna --
公平来讲 这是大家的错
I think it's fair to say this was everyone's fault.
闭嘴 鼻屎
Shut up, booger.
那是一九八几年的9月23日
It was september 23, 1980-something,
我与第一任正式女友戴娜·考德威尔
and I was in my first official long-distance relationship
正谈着人生第一场异地恋
with my first official girlfriend, Dana Caldwell.
不 你先挂
No, you hang up.
不 你先挂
No, you hang up.
不 你先挂
No, you hang up.
-你挂 -你挂
- You hang up. - You hang up.
-你挂 -你挂
- You hang up. - You hang up.
拜托赶紧挂吧
Someone please hang up.
我听不清杰克对那个胖子说什么
I can't hear what ?jake is saying to the fat man.
在电邮和网络聊天出现以前
Back before e-mail and skype,
唯一保持联♥系♥的方法就是通电♥话♥
the only way to stay connected was to talk on the telephone
更加浪漫的则是唱歌♥
or, for extra romance, sing.
一步一步
* Step by step *
不幸的是 我正处于变声期
Unfortunately, my voice was in a transitional period.
左右左
* Left, right, left *
我们都会摔倒
* We all fall down *
像玩具士兵一样
* Like toy soldiers *
我的天 这可怕的声音是你发出来的呀
Oh, my god, that terrible sound is you?
还是让专业人士来唱吧 我
Leave the singing to the professionals -- me!
尽管我的声音变了
Even though my voice changed,
但我们的关系依然很亲密
we were still as strong as ever.
我想周五晚上
I was thinking that friday night
我们可以一起看哈雷彗星
we could look at halley's comet together.
一生只有这一次机会哦
Only comes around once every lifetime.
你太棒了
Aww. You're amazing.
我在这里看 你在西雅图看
So, I'll watch it from here and you'll watch it in seattle.
你是打给西雅图吗
Whoa. You're talking to seattle?
丹妮尔不是住在街尾吗
I thought Danielle lived down the street.
她是戴娜 我跟你说过无数次 她搬家了
It's Dana, and I told you a million times she moved.
不能在8点前打到西雅图去
You can't call seattle before 8:00.
你知道你的女友会花我多少钱吗
Do you have any idea how much your girlfriend's gonna cost me?
你害我先挂电♥话♥了
Hey! ?You made me hang up first.
抱歉 亚当
I'm sorry, Adam.
我负担不起你的爱 太贵了
I can't afford your love. It's too pricy.
这是什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
就是说 我要取消长途
It means I'm canceling our long-distance service.
这是这样
There, it's done.
恋情结束了
Relationship over.
老爷子 跟这个无情的人好好说说
Pops, talk some sense into this heartless man.
你是个聪明孩子
You're a smart kid.
想个新招和她联♥系♥
Find a creative way to connect with her.
有次我通过电报和一个菲律宾女人谈恋爱
You know, I once dated a filipino woman via telegram.
真的吗
Really?
当然 西联电报公♥司♥不得不叫停我们
Of course, western union had to shut us down
因为马拉三句话就开始开黄腔
because Mala could get very filthy in just three sentences.
重点是 爱
Point is -- love.
好吧 你的话完全没用
Okay, you're useless to me.
尽管我很生气
As angry as I was,
可根本比不上
it couldn't hold a candle to the rage my mom felt
我妈发现保时捷这件事后的怒气
when she found out out the Porsche.
别被我的毛衣骗了
Do not be fooled by my sweater.
我一点也不飞扬
I am not flappy.
我很"飞怒"
I'm very flangry.
好消息是
The good news is,
兰妮 我跟你♥爸♥谈过了
Lainey, I spoke to your father.
我把车的事告诉他了
I told him all about his car
还有超劲爆的"乖仔也疯狂"派对
and all about the kick-ass "risky business" party.
什么 你怎么知道的
What?! ?How do you know about that?
超劲爆的
"List of stuff to get
"乖仔也疯狂"派对的购物清单
for our kick-ass 'risky business' party
因为兰妮的爸爸去了亚特兰大
because Lainey's dad is in atlanta."
白♥痴♥ 你为什么写下来
Idiot! Why'd you write it down?
我看到了才会想起
I'm a visual thinker.
肃静
Hush up!
兰妮 好消息是
The good news is, Lainey,
你♥爸♥同意在他回来前 你住我家
your dad agreed to let you stay with us until he gets back.
就是说我有六天时间来修复你的人生
That means I have six days to fix your entire life.
不可能
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