作为八十年代长大的孩子 我热爱电影
Growing up as a kid in the '80s, I loved movies.
不只是制♥作♥电影 而是体验电影
Not just making them -- living them,
从《捉鬼敢死队》这样令人难忘的经典
from unforgettable classics like "Ghostbusters"
到《龙威小子》这样的动作冒险故事
to the action-packed saga of "The Karate Kid."
但要说我的挚爱
But my all-time faves were the movies
还是传奇导演约翰·休斯的作品
from legendary director John Hughes.
我学《摩登保姆》搞荒唐科学
I got weird like "Weird Science,"
像《春天不是读书天》翘课大玩一天
had an epic day off like Ferris,
甚至还加入了"早餐俱乐部"
even joined the breakfast club.
但在我十六岁生日这天
But on my 16th birthday,
要数约翰·休斯的《十六支蜡烛》最为真实
no movie felt truer than the John Hughes masterpiece "Sixteen Candles."
你需要好身材和一个开心的生日
You need 4 inches of bod and a great birthday.
幸运的是 我的身材已经够好了
Lucky for me, I had all the bod I needed.
事实上 这个生日肯定会很棒
In fact, this birthday was gonna rock.
他们竟然忘了我的生日
They fxxxxxx forgot my birthday.
真不敢相信
I can't believe this.
肯定很扎心
That's gotta sting.
没错 我妈从来不忘我的生日
Yep, my mom always remembered.
发现小寿星
Birthday boy sighting!
我的生日小宝贝在这呢
There's my little birthday Schmoo.
生日快乐 宝贝
Happy birthday, Schmoo.
每当我过生日时
And when it came to my birthday,
我就是世界中心
I got all the attention...
直到我被忘记这年
until the year I didn't.
你不能和兰妮·路易斯结婚
You are not getting married to Lainey Lewis.
你还是高四生和一个小男孩
You are a high-school senior and a tiny boy.
而你需要找工作
And you need a job!
首先 你从大学退学去当摇滚明星
First, you drop out of college to be a rock star?
现在你回家来害我电费大涨
Now you're back here driving up my electric bill!
想结婚 除非我死了
You will get married over my dead body.
你丢不丢人 甚至不先和你今生
And shame on you for not even consulting
唯一挚爱的女士商量一下
your one true lady love of your life,
也就是我
which is me.
再瞧瞧你
And look at you.
用我的炉子和灯泡
Using my stove and my light bulbs
你当自己是挪威皇室吗
like you're some sort of Norwegian royalty.
你不能为人夫
You can't be a husband.
你还是我的小宝贝巴瑞
You are still my baby Barry.
那些貌美的金发混♥蛋♥
Those beautiful blond bastards!
在战时根本没向我们伸出援手
They did nothing to help us during the war.
默里 快停下 你跑题了
Murray, stop. You're on a bad tangent.
专注于她让我们心碎这点
Just focus on how she's breaking our hearts.
抱歉打断你们的清晨马拉松式暴怒
Um, sorry to interrupt your morning rage-a-thon,
不过有人想对我说些什么吗
but does anyone have anything they want to say to me?
不是所有事都得围着你转
Not everything's about you,
永远不会犯错的金童
golden child who can do no wrong.
真的吗 没别的了吗
Really? Nothing else?
那玩意里面有核桃
That thing has walnuts!
亚当 我差点忘了
Oh, Adam, I almost forgot.
我就知道她会记得
I knew she'd remember.
到了送生日礼物的时间了
It was birthday gift time.
我猜是我想要的高级剪辑设备
I bet it's that fancy editing machine I wanted.
给你三块钱
Here's $3.
我今早忙着因为你哥要娶少女媳妇大哭
I was so busy crying about your brother taking a child bride
我没给你做午饭
that I didn't make you a lunch.
今天食堂做的是肉馅土豆馅饼
It's shepherd's pie at the cafeteria today!
咸味的馅饼里那个最难吃了
That's the worst of all savory pies.
在你拉粑粑之前不要吃香蕉
And no bananas till you make a poop-ila in the pot-ila.
可我的...
But what about my --
原来我真的在亲身体验《十六支蜡烛》
Turns out, I really was living "Sixteen Candles" after all.
真不敢相信
I can't believe this.
他们竟然忘了我的生日
They fxxxxxx forgot my birthday.
金色年代 第六季第一集
那是一九八几年的九月二十六日
It was September 26, 1980-something.
巴瑞快乐地订婚了
Barry was happily engaged,
但没人比他未来岳父更气愤了
but no one was angrier than his future father-in-law.
比利老弟 来骂孩子吗
Hey, Billy boy. Here to yell at the kids?
没错 我希望这不算过分
Bingo! Hope it's okay,
可我写了好多非常恶毒的话要对巴瑞说
but I've written some really terrible things to say to Barry
为了吓跑他
in order to scare him off.
-你有备而来 做得好 -是啊
- You did some homework. Good on you. - Yeah.
实不相瞒 我用非常有违信仰的方式
Full disclosure -- I attack his physical appearance
攻击他的外貌
in a very un-Christian way.
成年人这么说孩子太不应该了
I mean, it's no way for an adult to speak to a child.
-不成功便成仁 对吗 -不对
- Hey, go big or go home, right? - Wrong!
我们所有的愤怒 内疚
All of our anger, guilt,
情绪化的恐吓只会让孩子们更来劲
and emotional terror only makes the kids dig in deeper.
我们必须重想策略
We have to rethink our tactics.
你同意的话 我愿意和你儿子互殴
With your blessing, I am willing to fistfight your son.
-我是指这样的方法 -房♥屋开放参观
- I mean, something like this. - An open house?
街尾的古德曼一家要搬家了
The Goodmans down the street are moving.
我想是时候让那些孩子看看
I think it's time I show those kids
作成年人的严峻现实了
the harsh realities of being actual adults.
我们可以在这面墙上挂武士刀
And we can put a samurai sword on this wall.
鲨鱼缸 鲨鱼缸 鲨鱼缸
Shark tank, shark tank, shark tank.
再来七个鲨鱼缸
Seven more shark tanks!
小巴 假如每面墙上都是刀和鲨鱼缸
Bar, where am I gonna hang all my guitars
我那些吉他要挂在哪
if every wall is full of swords and sharks?
你说得对
You're right.
妈 我们需要一座更大 墙更多的房♥子
Mom, we're gonna need a bigger, wall-ier house,
但我们跟感谢你愿意给我们买♥♥这幢
but we appreciate the offer to buy us this one.
我不是要给你们买♥♥这幢房♥子
Oh, I'm not buying you this house.
我带你们来让你们看看
I brought you here to show you
买♥♥这幢房♥子要花多少钱
how much it would cost you to buy it.
三万七 你开玩笑吗
$37,000? Are you friggin' kidding me?
我们哪买♥♥得起 我们只是蠢小孩
We can't afford that. We're just dumb kids!
没错
Exactly.
你们是孩子 没文凭没工作
You're kids without degrees or jobs.
你们还没准备好承担这种成年人的负担
You're not ready to take on this kind of adult responsibility.
好吧 或许我们买♥♥不起这幢
Okay, so maybe we can't afford this house
墙这么少的房♥子
with its embarrassing number of walls.
唯一重要的是我疯狂地爱着这个姑娘
All that matters is I'm crazy in love with this girl right here.
我毛绒绒的大怪兽
Aw, my big, hairy monster.
我们可以住在某间小小的
We can live in some tiny,
没有鲨鱼缸的公♥寓♥ 我不在乎
shark-tankless apartment, for all I care.
只要我和兰妮能在一起
As long as it's me, Lainey,
再来四个可爱的孩子就行
and our four snuggly little kids.
我根本不可能...
Okay, there is no way I'm gonna let y--
我的天 你刚刚是说孩子吗
Oh, my God. Did you say kids?
你能想象那些可爱的小巴瑞跑来跑去吗
Can you imagine all those cute little Barrys running around?
她为什么要和我们一起感叹
Why is she aww-ing with us?
-我不知道 -小巴瑞们
- I don't know. - Little Barrys.
卷卷的头发
Oh, with the curly hair
又软又壮的小身子
and the squishy, husky baby body
不能坐巴士去露营
and the not being able to ride the bus to camp
因为你的情绪太失控了
'cause you're so emotionally out of control.
在那一刻
In that moment,
兰妮发现了我妈唯一真正的弱点
Lainey discovered my mom's one true weakness --
对抱孙子孙女的期望
the promise of grandkids.
没错
That's right!
你能想象那些软乎乎的宝宝巴瑞吗
Can you imagine all those cuddly little baby Barrys?
我现在想像得不亦乐乎
I'm imagining it so hard right now.
太棒了
That's good!
可生宝宝的唯一方式就是让我们结婚
But the only way to get them is to get us married.
不 不准你们结婚
Oh, no, you're not getting married.
不过你们多快能结婚
But-but how soon could you get married
给我生小巴瑞
and give me little Barrys?
我们现在到底在说些什么
What are we even talking about right now?
小巴 我们在说我们越早结婚
Bar, we're talking about the sooner we get married,
你妈就能越早当上外婆
the sooner your mom becomes a grammy.
姥姥 我太想当姥姥了
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