- Holy Moses! - I just
wanted to have...
Oh, my God!
...a nice Christmas,
- Mom! - Put it down!
- and you all ruined it... - Honey...
-住手 妈 -住手 -又一次毁了
- Stop, Mom... - Stop! - again!
-亲爱的 不要 -好了 够了
- Honey, no... - Okay! Okay!
Christmas is canceled.
- Now it feels like Christmas. - What kind of jacket is that?
- But where's Ali? - What's with the beard?
Uh, she's not coming.
- Oh, no. - Uh, she's really sorry.
The weather girl says we're supposed to get snow.
-发生什么事了 -那个 她爸生病了
- What happened? - Yeah, her- her dad got sick.
-那真是太可怕了 -是啊 肾结石
- Oh, that's awful. - Yeah, kidney stones.
- Oh, God. - We were so excited to finally meet her.
I hope he's drinking a lot of water.
I really think that she's the one, you know?
'Cause those things can come in bunches
- and people say it's worse than childbirth. - It's not.
Honey, you've never had kidney stones.
I've had three babies. One, a ten- pounder.
- Well, okay... - Not you.
- Give me the bag. - Yay.
Oh, that's my boy.
You're gonna need, uh, better shoes than that.
You gave me those, Dad.
Yeah, I gave them to you for the summer,
all right? Not for the winter.
Hey, did you tip the cabbie?
Because those guys work for a living.
Thanks for picking me up, dude.
God! Oh, I thought you were coming in at 1:00.
-你真是满嘴鬼话 肖恩 -才没有
- You're full of crap, Sean. - No...
-抱歉把你吵醒了 里昂 -不
- Sorry I woke you, Leon. - no.
Does that sound like something I would do?
Does it sound like I would agree to
pick you up before noon on a weekend, ever?
- Come here. - Good to see you.
Welcome home, okay...
That's for the air horn, dumbass.
I'm going back to bed. Wake me up at 3:00.
Heads up- - our bathroom's under construction,
so this one's seeing a lot of traffic.
Yeah, it was supposed to be finished by Thanksgiving.
You got some of your AA buddies on the job?
It's the roof all over again.
I'm trying to give some people a leg up- - is that so wrong?
如果你妈一边在洗澡 你一边在拉屎 那就是错的
It is if you have to take a dump while your mom's in the shower.
That was me.
Hire a real plumber.
-我 我先来 -我飞了很久...
- Me, me, me, me. - Long flight...
And maybe work on your savior complex.
- Bridget's here. - Great.
Mom invited everyone over for a big feast to meet Ali.
Her dad had gallbladder surgery.
The whole family's staying local.
She totally broke up with you, right?
Yesterday, at brunch.
It was brutal.
Aw, man, I'm sorry.
Her lease was up, and I was really into her,
but I just... and I wasn't, you know, quite ready to move in together.
Then this jerk at the next table gets down on one knee.
- Come on. - Just gives this incredibly moving proposal
Brunch can be tricky.
Mom's gonna analyze the crap out of this.
- I'm not telling her. - I mean, I fully support women
of any age going back to get their master's,
-但是心理学也太... -是啊 但...
- but ugh- - psychology? - Yeah, but...
I mean, it's just so annoying.
Yeah, she's been all kinds of unreasonable lately.
You know, she actually stopped doing my laundry.
I pay rent.
- I deserve amenities. - Sean!
I found the tree.
I bet you didn't.
- Let's see... - No!
That's not a tree, that's a- that's a Christmas shrub.
It's got pluck. I'm getting it.
You do this every year, old man.
You got a Douglas fir problem.
Everyone's gonna be here in an hour.
They're being delivered?
We don't need cookies, okay?
Big Stan's bringing pies.
- Didn't he wet himself caroling last year? - Yep.
他已经戒酒9个月了 我对他有信心 好吗
He's got nine months sober and I have full faith, okay?
I thought you'd like the cookies.
Eater Chicago says they're the best in the city.
Honey, Stan needs the win.
-你给你在溜冰场的老板打电♥话♥了吗 肖恩 -没有
- Did you call your boss - at the rink, Seanny? - No.
It's a chess match.
I'm not gonna make the first move.
She owes me a lot of overtime.
You know you're the maintenance guy.
Might not have the leverage you think you do.
A- Again with the stick, Mom.
Would love to see the carrot sometime.
Jesus' dad was a maintenance guy.
Don't forget to take a lot of photos. Get your camera.
- My mom's on scotch two. - Oh, God.
-谢谢你 妈 -给
- Thanks, Mom. - Here you go.
Here's to my last Christmas.
I thought last Christmas was your last Christmas.
You're really dragging out this death thing.
Where's your Chinese husband?
He's Korean, and he's on a plane.
He'll be here in a couple hours.
If you make it that long.
看啊 罗杰 他们家就有圣诞树
Look, Roger, they have a Christmas tree.
Probably paid full price.
The real deals don't - happen for a few days.
I would feel bad if I didn't bring you in on this opportunity.
We've been down this road before.
Uh, two words:
"Funeral" And "Fireworks."
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