- Chapter one.
This is the story of the Hayworth family.
- 哦不 - 哦
- Oh, no. - Oh!
- Three siblings who loved each other.
- 我欠你多少 - 1150 兄弟
- What do I owe you? - $1,150, brother.
- 见鬼 - 好了
- Oh, dang. - Okay.
But money sometimes got in the way.
Sarah was the middle child
and the one with the least money.
She lived in a tiny apartment with her wife, Denise,
and their two kids.
They were always on top of each other.
- Hi, I was just calling about the counselor position.
Oh, you got the job.
So you were supposed to fill the position,
but you gave it to yourself.
That's fun. Quick question.
Why did you even have me come in?
I mean, you didn't even validate my parking, so--
- And we are so happy for you.
It's a tough job market out there right now.
Good luck, and let us know if anything else opens up.
- Can I just say one more thing?
- There is a better job out there for you.
In the meantime, do you want to bake some cookies
and look at pictures of Cate Blanchett in suits?
- Yes, I would.
- I thought we were going to Uncle Connor's place.
- Yeah, his house has a second floor.
- 我们家也有两层啊 - 你们不就正坐在二层吗
- We have a second floor. - You're sitting on it!
- A few minutes away,
Sarah's younger brother Connor had moved to the Bay Area
with his wife and daughter.
He'd made a fortune in finance,
so much that he bought his house from Matt Damon.
Yes, that Matt Damon.
They even had a live-in nanny.
- Lupe, can you do the thing?
- A nanny who took care of all of them.
- Daddy, when do the cousins get here?
- Soon, baby. Today's gonna be epic.
- 一大家子人都在一起 - 一定很好玩
Whole family together... - Yeah, it's gonna be lit.
- That's my girl.
You're the best, Lupe!
- In between Connor and Sarah financially
was the oldest sibling,
He was middle-class, but definitely not middlebrow.
- Yeah, you know what? You're right.
It's the wrong kind of funny.
- - Good point.
Tom grew up the golden child of the family,
and actually became a bestselling novelist.
But his latest novel had sold about five copies,
as the public had failed to appreciate its subtlety,
and the author photo was not the one the author chose.
With the expenses piling up, he now faced the humiliation
of having to ask his little brother for a loan.
- What, you're a critic, too?
- 而且 - 无聊死了
- Also... - I'm bored!
- He had too many kids.
- Investigators said they'd never seen
a murder so gruesome,
but what they found under the floorboards
was even more disturbing.
- Well, got in almost half a page
before they started crying.
- Your secret book about Uncle Connor and Aunt Sarah?
不不不 亲爱的 不是秘密小说
- Oh, no, no, no, sweetie. It's not a secret.
hiding it from them.
- Que gallina es tu papá?
- Mom said you're a chicken. -
- Well, that's just nasty in two languages.
Don't forget, we're going to Connor's at 3:00.
- Great, that'll give me enough time
to keep doing laundry for the rest of my life.
- Love you, honey!
兄弟 逗号♥ 要见到你了 真激动啊
Yo, bro, comma, psyched to see your new dump,
- Yeah, did you buy it from someone famous?
I can't remember.
- Ha ha, very funny.
You do know it was Matt Damon though, right?
- I wouldn't want someplace this big--it's too big!
I mean, who would want all this space?
So many rooms, no one would ever find you.
- I'm going for it.
I'm just gonna look him right in the eye.
I'm gonna say "Connor,
I know everyone thinks my career is thriving--"
亲爱的 无论你想借钱还是不想借 我都支持你的决定
- Honey, I support you whether you decide to ask for the loan
or you don't, but I just can't keep hearing about it.
- It's hard to ask your baby brother for money.
- Well, don't think of him as your baby brother.
Think of him as a cartoon duck
swimming in a pool of gold coins.
- He has a pool of gold coins?
I don't think so.
- 嘿 - 嗨
- Hey! - Hi.
- So are we still not telling your brothers
that you lost your job?
- 今天不行 - 好吧
- Not today, no. - Okay.
- Oh, your cheese cave has a wine cellar?
- 真棒 我失业了 - 好吧
Cool, I'm unemployed. - Okay.
- I just--I don't need Tom's advice
or Connor's sympathy fist bump.
好吧 露露 我们一年没见到康纳了
- Okay, Lulu, we haven't seen Connor in over a year,
so maybe let's not get in a fight
and storm out this time.
Okay, I know your brothers are Scorpios,
but they're still good people.
- You know I don't believe in that stuff.
- That's a very Capricorn thing to say.
- Oh, wow, look!
- Dibs on tiny Porsche!
- 准备好了吗 - 有选择吗
- Ready for this? - Do I have a choice?
- Oh, my God!
我的天 快来 你们来看看我的娃娃们