ΔΝΦ很烂
Delta Nu Phi sucks!
他们是不是都很烂
Can we not agree they all suck?
没错
A'ight.
结束这场古罗马长袍派对吧
Let's shut this toga party down
以免事情真正失控
before things really get out of hand.
不能使用超能力
No powers.
时代错误会更严重
It can make the Anachronism worse.
没错 要用手术刀
Right, be the scalpel.
因为我发现你身上...
Because I saw in you...
我有个主意
I've got an idea.
你不会是想现在约炮吧
Come on, man, are you really trying to hook up now?
不 我在用新的碰碰约会软件
No, I'm creating a dating profile
创建约会资料
on our new Upswipz app.
吉迪恩 帮我匹配到
Gideon, I need you to hit
海滩每个人的手♥机♥上
every phone on the beach with a match.
"异国美女寻求
"Exotic beauty looking for
与兄弟会小鲜肉一♥夜♥情♥"
casual sex with young frat stud?"
-可能有用 -当然
- That might work. - Yeah.
我现在需要一张照片
Now all I need is a profile picture.
我想我已经搞定了
I believe I've got that covered.
还不错
Not bad.
罗马神话中的战神
为了玛尔斯For Mars!
为了罗马
For Rome!
无荣耀 毋宁死
Death... or glory!
好了 凯撒 派对结束了
All right, JC. Party's over.
你得跟我们走
You're coming with us.
我宁肯自刎而死
I'd rather fall on my sword
也不愿屈服于一个女人
than surrender it to a woman.
那你今天可碰上硬茬了
Well, then today is your lucky day.
我们不用帮帮她吗
Uh, shouldn't we help her?
我倒是担心他
It's him I'm worried about.
好了 任务完成
Yep, I'd say our work here is done.
用凯撒自己的话说
And to quote the great conqueror himself,
"我们来了 我们看见"
"We came, we saw--"
我们暴揍了凯撒
We kicked Caesar's ass!
天呐
Oh, man.
-废物 -干得漂亮
- Suckers. - Nice work.
我出手会解决得更快
I'd have done it faster.
真抱歉
Oh, I'm sorry.
疼吗
Did that hurt?
淡定点 米克
Easy, Mick.
他把我鼻子打断了
He broke my nose.
那可是我最帅的地方
My best feature.
我们还得把他完好地送回他的时代
Still... we have to get him back to his time in one piece.
否则他就没法征服世界
Or he doesn't go on to conquer the world
建立史上最强大的帝国了
and help create the greatest empire history has ever known.
得抓紧了
We need to get moving.
用不了多久
It's not gonna take Rip long
里普就能追踪到丢失的时间飞船
to track down a stolen time ship.
没错 兰斯小姐
Quite so, Ms. Lance.
看来你们抓到真正的尤利乌斯·凯撒了
It appears that you've captured the real Julius Caesar.
不错
Well done.
现在把他交给我们吧
Now, if you'll just return him to us,
我们很乐意带他重返历史
we'll be happy to handle his reinsertion back into history.
你觉得我们搞不定吗
You don't think we can handle it?
不是这个意思
It's not that.
就是这个意思
Maybe it is that.
事实是
But the fact remains
你们劫走了我们的东西
that you have hijacked our property.
如果你们能把飞船
And if you would return it to us
以及错乱时代的凯撒还回来
along with our anachronistic guest,
我可以既往不咎
all will be forgiven.
我相信你会做出明智的选择
I trust you'll use your best judgment.
他难道不了解我们这队伍吗
Does he not know this team?
我们不该把凯撒
Shouldn't we entrust Caesar's return
交给专业人员来处理吗
to people who do that sort of thing professionally?
我还以为我们能趁此机会
I thought this was our chance to prove
证明我们是专业的...像个专业的
that we were professional... ish.
你做主 船长
Your call, Captain.
吉迪恩
Gideon,
设定返回时间调查局的航线
plot a course for the Time Bureau.
恐怕不行
I'm afraid that won't be possible
除非进行额外修复
without additional repairs.
想到了
Of course.
连你也会 莎拉
Et tu, Sara?
莎士比亚的《尤利乌斯·凯撒》剧中
凯撒被布鲁特斯刺杀时说的话
这就是我的明智选择
I'm using my best judgment.
这些引擎我都拆过无数遍了
You know, I've taken these engines apart so many times,
这飞船就像我的一部分
feels like this ship is a part of me.
这个部分
It is a part of you
让你能应对接下来的任何冒险生活
that you can take on whatever adventure life offers you next.
还有比这更棒的冒险吗
What adventure could be better than this one?
我得以成为穿越时空的超级英雄
I mean, I got to be a superhero who traveled through time,
改变历史
changing history.
是啊
Yes, I know.
我知道你很想当称职的爷爷
Look, I know you want to do the whole granddad thing.
在炉火边抽烟斗 但是...
Smoke a pipe by the fire, but...
我还有大把年岁
I got a whole lot of life left,
我不知该如何度过
and I have no idea how to fill it.
杰佛逊 你绝对是我认识的人中
Jefferson, you are, hands down,
最有天赋 最能干 最努力的年轻人
the most gifted, capable, driven young man I've ever known.
你想做什么都行
You can do anything you want to do.
那样当然很好
Well, that's all well and good,
但我只想做核能超级英雄的其中一半
but what I want to do is be half of a nuclear-powered superhero.
如果你不想 我是做不成的
And I can't do that if you don't want to.
你是来耀武扬威
Have you come to gloat?
还是来赐我一死
Or to grant me the mercy of taking my own life?
你就这么不满被女人打败吗
Getting beaten by a woman bothers you that much?
是
Yes.
如果你不是来炫耀也不是来赐死的
If your intention is neither boasting nor mercy,
那来找我♥干♥什么
to what do I owe the honor of this visit?
你质疑自己的做法
You doubt your present course of action
似乎认为凯撒能帮你解决问题
and seem to believe that Caesar holds the key to resolving it.
没什么好解决的
There's nothing to resolve.
我怎么做自己说了不算
My course of action isn't up to me.
你觉得你的未来掌握在命运三女神手中吗
So you believe your future lies in the hands of the Three Fates?
不是
No.
是掌握在时间调查局手中
It lies in the hands of a group called the Time Bureau.
如果我反抗 他们就会夺走我的飞船
And if I go against them now, they'll take my ship.
如果我搞砸了 就会失去一切
And if I screw this up, then I lose everything.
为实现伟大 你只愿赌上这些吗
And that's all you're willing to wager for greatness?
庞贝说我与元老院为敌
Pompey said he would have my head
他就会砍下我的人头
for going against the Senate...
等我率领大军渡过卢比孔河
But when I lead my army across the Rubicon,
罗马人会像欢迎天神一样欢迎我
Rome will welcome me as a god.
真希望我能像你这么自信
Well, I wish I shared your confidence.
我花了八年 牺牲了无数百夫长
It cost me eight years and countless centurions
才征服了高卢
to conquer Gaul.
但如果身边有你这样英勇的女王
But with an Amazonian queen like you by my side,
我能更快征服世界
I could make short work of the rest of the world.
征服世界听起来确实不错...
Conquering the world does sound nice...
但不用你我就能做到
But I don't need you to do it.
飞船修好了 船长
Ship's fixed, Cap.
能带我们返回时间调查局吗
Fixed enough to get us back to the Time Bureau?
那古罗马呢
How about ancient Rome?
试试就知道了
Only one way to find out.
古高卢 公元前49年
吉迪恩说 凯撒在他向罗马进军的
According to Gideon, Caesar disappeared
著名事件的前一晚失踪了
the night before his famous march on Rome.
没跨过卢比孔河 就没有内战
Yeah, no crossing the Rubicon means no civil war.
没有内战 就没有凯撒殉难日