Seriously, you idiots haven't figured this out by now?
It all started when we blew up the time pigs,
the Time Masters,
now history's all screwed up, and it's up to us
to unscrew it up.
Half the time, we screw things up even worse.
So don't call us heroes,
we're something else.
Who writes this crap anyway?
Previously on "Legends of Tomorrow"...
Have either of you gentlemen heard of the Spear of Destiny?
Yes, it was the spear that was purportedly used
to penetrate the side of Christ after he died on the cross.
And now, it can be used to rewrite reality itself.
Then what would the Speedster need the Spear of Destiny for?
He could just go back and change history himself.
Changes to history cause timequakes and aberrations,
which we can undo.
Changes to reality, however, those are permanent.
Who's coming for you?
It's not a who. It's a--
it's a what.
He can sense the Speed Force.
And it's trying to kill me.
You created an interface between a mystical relic
from the first century and a 22nd-century supercomputer.
A deep scan reveals that Captain Hunter's neural architecture
has been reprogrammed
with a new identity.
It's a mnemonic archive, designed to store memories.
Including the locations of the other pieces of the spear, I hope.
We would hardly be doing Captain Hunter any favors
if we just restored the memories without taking the liberty
to address some of his shortcomings.
Can I help you with something, soldier?
不 华盛顿将军 我很好
No, General Washington, I'm fine.
You, on the other hand...
Stand at ease.
Gentlemen, General Washington is dead.
Now, I know you would all like nothing more than to return home
from these godforsaken colonies,
but the rebellion is not yet quelled.
The fight is not yet finished.
But that doesn't mean we have to fight fair, now does it?
they call themselves patriots,
but they will die as traitors.
Grab yourselves a rifle, lads.
After all, it's Christmas.
You killed George Washington.
Yes, I know.
Well, that should get my former teammates' attention,
and when they travel back in time to save him,
I'll be there waiting for them with open arms.
Well, not too open, I hope.
不 不用担心 斯旺先生
No, have no fear, Mr. Thawne.
I have no lingering attachment.
Ah, in that case, kill them all,
collect their fragment of the Spear of Destiny,
and bring it to me.
Whoever knew time travel would be so much fun?
How long till Lily's interface tracks down another piece
of the Spear of Destiny?
I don't know. I'm beginning to think
our supercomputer is not so super.
I heard that.
You try processing 1.2 zettabytes of data.
Rip's probably being tortured by the Legion of Doom right now.
The sooner we can locate another piece of the spear,
the sooner we can set a trap and rescue him.
I could always reroute power to my sub-neural processing unit
by shutting off life support.
Oh, you're lippy this morning, Gideon.
I like it.
I wasn't joking.
Old buddy, old pal?
New news, I found rat droppings in my room.
And you're telling me this because?
'Cause rats follow crumbs.
Crumbs you drop any time you eat anything.
What would you have me do then, use a knife and fork?
I would have you clean up after yourself.
We've been all over time.
That rat could have bubonic plague.
I've overstepped. I see that now.
You know, I thought I was gonna hate Ray's chore wheel,
but breakfast duty's kind of fun.
And it tastes way better than a food fabricator.
- It feels almost normal. - Right?
I don't know what day of the week it is.
That I don't know how they got used to.
See, that's the problem with the Temporal Zone.
You don't know if it's Sunday. You don't know if it's Monday.
And Sunday should feel different than Monday.
I love what we do. I do.
It's just sometimes I just wish I could get off this ship.
-是啊 我也是 -是啊
- Yeah, exactly. - Yeah.
I just wanna breathe some fresh air and see some trees.
You know, when I first moved from Zambesi to D.C.,
I used go camping every weekend.
I just love being outside, under the stars.
That sounds terrible and cold and miserable.
I'm a city guy, and that does not work for me whatsoever.
What, is there something on my face?
Can you please get it off?
- I should go get the... - No, um...
What was that?
Did you guys feel that timequake?
It must have been a monster aberration.
- Gideon? - The shock wave's point of origin
was December 25th, 1776.
That's the night George Washington
led the Continental Army across the Delaware.
I'm afraid not.
General Washington was murdered that Christmas.
This is a trap.
It's Chicago all over again.
Thawne and his buddies are trying to lure us into 1776.
-很有效果 要我说 -是啊
- Very effectively, I might add. - Yeah.
You wish to speak, Mr. Rory?
I noticed the death of our forefather
hasn't diminished your appetite.
Washington's a punk.