I'm just trying to look after you, love.
You and I are similar; we're both survivors.
But our survival comes at a terrible cost.
Look, you can take it from a man who's caused nothing
but misery to everyone he's ever loved.
相信我 趁还来得及 和艾娃一刀两断
Trust me, end it with Ava before it's too late.
You ever think that you cause misery
not because of some romantic "I was born to walk alone" crap,
but because you're an ass
who doesn't know how to trust people?
You know, I trust
that people around me get hurt, killed,
or far, far worse--
You think that I'm not scared?
That I don't know grief?
I'm not willing to turn my back on life,
because that is exactly what you're doing, John.
Our friends and family, they don't make us weaker;
they make us stronger.
You know what you need?
You need to be a part of a team.
You were saying?
This is King Solomon's original grimoire--
The oldest magical textbook in existence.
Now, if there's a spell to quell our equine friend,
it'll be in here.
Well, not to pressure you, but the entire fate of
the sexual revolution is in the balance here.
It is my favorite revolution.
-约翰 欢迎加入 -雷 大块头
- John! Welcome aboard. - Hey, Ray big-man!
Glad to see you're all back from the land of milk and honey.
I'm still a little fuzzy on how exactly we were--
Roofied by a horse.
That beast sprays a powerful mind-altering hallucinogen
to disarm its prey.
"How to expel a magical creature from the mortal realm."
Now the ingredients for this spell aren't so easy to come by.
Don't suppose any of you lot have the saliva
from a nine-fingered man, now do you?
You could chop off one of my pinkies.
不用 雷 别把自己当成爱心树
No, Ray. Don't be the Giving Tree.
Now, as every Deadhead knows,
Jerry Garcia was missing most of his middle finger
on his right hand from a wood chopping accident.
Cool, so how do we get his saliva?
Jerry, my man!
Can I get a hit of that?
This doobie will make you fly.
We need the Protection Stone of a powerful shaman.
And the lock of a doomed woman.
Janis, this is-- this is quite the honor.
Little robot man.
My mom is a huge fan.
And for our final ingredient...
A virgin, at Woodstock?
Good luck with that;
this is the least celibate place in history.
Are you serious?
对 很显然 处子就是独角兽的猫薄荷
Yeah, apparently virgins are like catnip to unicorns
and we need one to volunteer.
Rory, do you see any virgins where you're at?
- No. - Oh, come to think of it...
I do know one virgin.
No, not a chance.
- This feels wrong. - Well don't worry,
we'll be watching from a short distance, and you'll be...fine.
What am I supposed to do with the pomegranate?
Oh, the unicorns, they can't get enough of them, mate.
Yeah that, and human hearts.
So, the pomegranate is the bait?
Yeah, we wouldn't put an interim member
of our team in jeopardy, right guys?
I'm an interim Legend?
Uh, one more question, are you sure that I'm a virgin
because that thing we did--
Come get this nice, juicy, red pomegranate.
Admit it, this is fun working with a team.
Well if ol' Gary gets eaten alive,
it only goes to prove my point:
People who care about us die.
- What was that? - Oh, nothing mate.
You're golden, carry on, yeah?
把它抬高 高点 再高点
Oh, hold it up--up a bit. More!
That's the money.
Come on, pretty pony.
Come on, come on.
Enjoy your snack.
不好 它要的不是石榴汁吧 伙计们
Oh no, that's not pomegranate juice, is it? Guys?
约翰 不管你要怎么做 现在快动手
John, whatever you're gonna do, do it now!
All right, here goes.
I don't wanna die a virgin!
Seriously, you're meditating right now?
Come on, John.
Gary, are you okay?
- Just a scratch. - Where'd the unicorn go ahead?
Sent that bastard straight to hell, didn't I?
Yup, folks, that is some Grade A magic right there.
Maybe the Bureau will up our ratings.
People do love the supernatural.
Gary, you're like really bleeding.
The unicorn bit my nipple off!
Hey, maybe Gideon can make you a new one.
别管了 兄弟 这可是荣誉的证明
Forget it, mate. Come on, it's a badge of honor.
You see, my soul is heading straight to hell,
但你的乳♥头♥... 先去了 仅此而已
but your nipple-- it just got there first, that's all.
It's like we're two birds of the same, dark feather.
对 对 我就是这个意思 兄弟
Yeah, yeah, that's right, mate.
走 我们去喝一杯 好吗
Come on, let's grab a beer. All right?
Now about this whole virgin situation.
I assumed you would have left town by now.
Yeah, I decided to stay a couple extra days.
Let me guess, you got fired from whatever online college
you conned into hiring you.
损得好 汉克 但是...
Sweet burn, Hank, but um...