还有你为什么没穿裤子
And why aren't you wearing pants?
我可以解释
I can explain.
还有谢谢你没提起淋浴帽
And thank you for not mentioning the shower cap.
当我提起过
Pretend I did.
椰子油可以让我的头发更蓬松
Coconut oil makes my hair more buoyant.
真的吗
Really?
我应该试试
I should try that.
那这裤子的问题呢
And, uh, the pants situation?
我决定延长在2018年的旅途
Well, I decided to extend my trip to 2018,
然后或许会在局里住一段时间
and I may possibly be living a little bit at the Bureau.
你不能去住旅馆吗
You couldn't spring for a hotel?
活在现在你需要面对一个有趣的事实
Well, here's a fun fact about staying in the present--
这里要花钱 而传奇的薪水
it costs money, and as a legend,
就是你在旅程中结交到的朋友
your salary is the friendships you make along the way.
懂的
Got ya.
那你呢 我知道你喜欢文书工作 但
And you? I know you love paperwork, but...
对 我明天要给
Oh, yes, I'm presenting my budget
国防部提交我的预算
to the Department of Defense tomorrow.
里普忽悠上头总是很有一手
Rip was always good at schmoozing the bigwigs.
我就不那么在行了
It was never really my thing.
现在 要搞这些魔法之流的东西
And now, with this whole magic initiative,
我们甚至需要更多的预算
we're gonna need even more money.
我可以帮忙 我最会忽悠了
I can help. I'm great at schmoozing.
不用了 谢谢你
Oh, uh, no-no, thank you.
什么 为什么不用
What? Why not?
我需要地方住 你需要个帮手
I need a place to stay. You need a wingman.
会很有趣的 我们也可以一起消遣
It'll be fun, and we can hang out.
我们会一起冒险
We'll get into adventures.
好好 行吧 那就来吧
Okay, okay, you know what? Let's do it.
先穿上裤子
Just put some pants on.
你刚被忽悠了
You just got schmoozed.
她无依无靠
She doesn't have anyone.
*灵魂 灵魂 灵魂蛋糕*
*Soul, soul, soul cake*
*行行好 好太太 给我块灵魂蛋糕*
*Please, good missus, a soul cake*
*灵魂 灵魂*
*Soul, soul...*
好了 快走
All right, let's move.
*行行好 好太太 给我块灵魂蛋糕*
*Please, good missus, a soul cake*
*一颗苹果 一颗李子 桃子或樱桃*
*An apple, a plum, a peach, or a cherry*
*让我们大家都幸福快乐*
*Any good thing to make us all merry*
*一个给彼得 一个给保罗*
*One for Peter, one for Paul*
*三个给我们的造物主*
*Three for Him who made us all*
你们怎么跟着我
Why dost thou follow me?
普鲁登丝 我们是来帮你的
Hi, Prudence. We're just here to help.
我不认识你们 不需要你们帮忙
You're strangers. I have no need of your aid.
赶紧离开
Now be gone with haste.
约翰
John.
这是什么魔法
What magic is this?
不会有事的
Look, it's gonna be okay.
魔鬼的使者
Agent of the damned,
现身吧 你这肮脏的家伙
show yourself, you fetid creature.
现身吧 你这被诅咒的家伙
Show yourself, you cursed beast.
现出你丑陋的原形吧
Reveal your hideous form!
你好
Hello.
这是什么迪士尼情节
What in the Disney hell is this?
开玩笑吧 附在你身上的怪物就是这
You got to be kidding me. That's your monster?
怪物
Monster?
我才不是什么怪物
Why, I am nothing of the sort.
我是仙女教母
I am a fairy godmother,
我只是来实现你们梦想的
and I mean only to make dreams come true,
因为梦想是你心里...
because a dream is a wish your heart--
别再说了
Don't say another word.
康斯坦丁 你有办法解决这事吧
Constantine, please tell me you have something for this.
这还是头一回遇到
Um, this is, uh, new.
普鲁登丝 这是你的仙女教母
Prudence, this is your fairy godmother?
对 她会保护我
It is. She protects me.
通过伤害他人来保护你
By hurting other people.
不是
Not at all.
我只想帮助小普鲁登丝
I only want to help little Prudence,
你们瞧
for, you see...
这世界有过可怕时期
There are times the world is scary...
有过糟糕时期
times the world is bad...
但如果你的教母是个仙女
but when your godmother's a fairy...
*无需伤心*
*There's no reason to be sad*
还有音乐
Is that music?
*不要害怕事情不如意*
*So fear not if things don't look to be*
*不顺心*
*The way that you preferred*
*许个愿 看着我*
*Just make a wish and look to me*
*我会唱出咒语*
*I'll sing these magic words*
闭嘴
Shut up!
我想听她继续唱
I didn't want her to stop singing.
见鬼去吧
Oh, to hell with this.
你不会想真让我们见鬼的
Oh, my, you don't want to do that.
为什么
And why wouldn't we?
因为我和普鲁登丝是一体的
Because Prudence and I share a bond.
如果你送我下地狱 她也会一同下去
If you send me to hell, she goes right down with me.
他们想送我们下地狱
These people want to send us to hell.
你不想下地狱 对吧 亲爱的
You don't want to go to hell, do you, deary?
不
No.
你想要我把他们赶走吗
Would you like me to make them go away?
如你所愿
As you wish.
*先来点树根*
*We'll start with some tree roots*
*拔地而起*
*Up from the ground*
普鲁登丝 你不需要她
Prudence, you don't need her.
*召唤小鸟*
*And then summon some birds*
*多美妙的声音*
*What a beautiful sound*
好了 你可以别唱了
Okay, you can stop singing now.
*等它们在你头顶聚集时*
*And just as they gather over your head*
普鲁登丝 你不必这样做
Prudence, you don't have to do this.
*我会下令 攻击*
*I'll tell them, "Attack!"*
*你们都会*
*And you'll all end up--*
-我们是来救你母亲的 -*死翘翘*
- We're here to save your mother. -*Dead*
教母 等等
Godmother, wait.
放了他们
Release them.
如你所愿
As you wish.
你若需要我 我随叫随到
But I'm at your call when you need me.
不得不说 那旋律挺洗♥脑♥的
You got to admit, though, that--that was a catchy tune.
我在哪
Where am I?
安全的地方 等着我们送你回家
Someplace safe, just until we can get you home.
过去几天我见证了很多奇迹
I've seen many wonders these past days.
我相信你们 和教母一样
And I believe you, like Godmother,
是上帝应我的祈祷派给我的
were sent by the Lord-- the answer to our prayers.
给
Here...
甜甜圈
it's a doughnut.
我爱爱爱你
I la-la-love you.
确实有很多奇迹
Many wonders indeed.
好了 各位
All right, guys.
记住推销的三要素
Remember the three Cs of pitching--
自信 号♥召力
confidence, charisma--
-糟糕 是我爸 -等等
- Oh, crap. That's my dad. - Wait a second.
-那是你♥爸♥ -对
- That's your dad? - Yeah.
这肯定是机密政♥府♥项目
This must be one of his secret government projects
而且他绝不会告诉我的
he could never tell me about.
我不能进去 艾娃
I can't go in there, Ava.
进去只会更麻烦
I will make this worse.
拜托 内特 你们是家人
Come on, Nate, you're family.
能糟糕到哪去
How bad could it be?
我上次见他时 羞辱了他的毕生心血
Oh, last time I saw him, I insulted his life's work
还直接说了"我不需要你的钱"
and literally said, "I don't need your money."
好吧 那很糟糕了
Oh, okay, that's bad.
我不能一个人去
Look, I cannot do this alone.