Or when a telepathic gorilla tried to kill Barack Obama?
你知道我不记得
You know that I don't.
那是因为我们做好了本职工作
And that's because we did our job.
之前时间线乱得一塌糊涂
The timeline was in complete shambles,
但我很自豪地说我们终于让一切事物
but I'm proud to say that we finally put things
回归原位了
back into its proper place.
所以你的工作结束了
So your job is done.
这些人还在这里干什么
What are all these people still doing here?
时间线非常地脆弱
See, the timeline is very fragile.
总是有这样那样的威胁
There's always a threat of one kind or another.
现在轮到魔法了
Now there's magic.
-魔法 -没错
- Magic? - Yes.
去年 有一个叫做"魔卢斯"的魔鬼
You see, last year, there was a time demon named "Mollus."
是叫马卢斯 但是 我们别...
Mallus, but it--it-- we're not gonna--
为了干掉他
And in order to kill him,
传奇们破坏了它的牢狱
the legends broke his prison,
于是 意外也不意外地
which, surprise, surprise,
他们释放了数不清的其他危险魔法生物
released an unknown number of other dangerous magical beings,
然后全都分散在整个时间线上
all of whom got spat out across the timeline
现在必须找到并把它们送回地狱去
and now must be hunted down and sent to hell.
-我漏了什么吗 -没有
- Did I miss anything? - No, actually.
在我职业生涯中
You know, I've had to oversee
我监管过一些异想天开的项目
some really far-out projects in my career,
但凭良心 我无法让国防部
but I can't in good conscience have the D.O.D.
给一个对抗童话故事的部门提供资金
pay for a department that fights fairy tales.
长官 恕我直言
Sir, uh, with all due respect,
请不要关闭这个部门
you cannot shut us down, please.
这些超自然逃亡者所造成的破坏
The damage that these supernatural fugitives
难以估量
can cause is unfathomable.
夏普局长 你看起来是个才能出众的领导
Director Sharpe, you seem like a very capable leader.
你说有魔法生物在逃
Now, you say there's magic out there.
而我需要证据
And I say that I need proof.
-那个... -这就是证据
- Well-- - Here's proof.
一只独角兽吃了我的乳♥头♥
A unicorn ate my nipple.
好吧
Right.
我要关闭这个地方
I'm shutting this place down.
盖瑞 把衣服穿好
Gary, put it away!
你们看到Z了吗
Have you guys seen Z?
和那个女巫一起吗
With the witch?
普鲁登丝不是女巫 不是说女巫不好
Prudence isn't a witch. Not that witches are bad.
只有普鲁登丝一个人 我刚看了 吉迪恩
Prudence is alone. I just checked. Gideon.
汤马兹小姐给了我明确的指示
Miss Tomaz gave me explicit instructions
叫我不要告诉你她离开了飞船
not to tell you that she was leaving the ship.
这下糟了
That can't be good.
陪着那孩子 别惹毛她
Stay with the kid. Don't piss her off.
你在哪呢 Z
Where the hell are you, Z?
看啊 她召唤其师来解救她
And, lo, she called upon her master to set her free.
如果不是因为这些勇敢的人
And were it not for these brave men,
她可能已经成功了
she might have succeeded.
现在
And now...
在你们眼前
before your very eyes...
她身上有魔鬼的印记
The mark of the Devil upon her flesh.
那是胎记 混♥蛋♥
It's a birthmark, jerk.
大家看好了 我会从撒旦的标记里
Watch now as I attempt to draw blood
试着抽血
from Satan's brand.
不会流血
It will not bleed.
退后
Back.
神的启示将会是我的盾牌
The word of God shall be my shield.
愿主怜悯
The lord has mercy.
那女巫 在她摧毁我们所有人之前阻止她
The witch--stop her before she destroys us all.
住手 她什么也没做
Stop it. She didn't do anything.
为什么你们这些白♥痴♥看不出他在做什么
Why can't you idiots see what he's doing?
他在说服你们为了一些虚构的罪行
He's convincing you to kill your neighbors
杀害你们的邻居
for imaginary crimes.
如果你要找这镇上邪恶的真正源泉
If you're looking for the real source of evil in this town,
那就是他
it's him.
女巫
Witch.
女巫 另一个女巫
Witch, another witch.
拿掉她那个被诅咒的饰物
Remove that cursed bauble from her.
我到底在干什么
What the hell am I doing?
抓住她
Take her now.
对不起
I'm sorry.
不
No.
掌管这些女巫的恶魔
The Devil's hold over these witches
前所未有地强大
is stronger than we have ever faced.
吊死她们已经不够了
Hanging them will not suffice.
她们必须被烧死
They must burn.
烧死 烧死 烧死
Burn, burn, burn...
你感觉到了 不是吗 小宝贝
You feel that, don't you, deary?
事情有点不对
Something is amiss.
我为我妈妈感到担心
I worry for my mother.
我以为她已经被救出来了
I thought she'd be rescued by now.
确实很奇怪
It does seem odd.
那些陌生的来访者向你保证过
You were promised by those strange visitors
会去救出她 是不是
that she would be saved, were you not?
奇怪的是 他们还没去救
Curious, then, that they have not delivered.
我们要去看看是因为什么延误的吗
Shall we see what the delay is?
你能做到吗
Can you do that?
我能做到任何事 甜心
I can do anything, sweetkins.
只要你要求
All you must do is ask.
我查阅了历史记录
According to the historical record,
简·霍桑作为女巫被处死
Jane Hawthorne was executed as a witch.
这是在仙女教母出现前的
That was canon before the fairy godmother
固定时间线
affected the timeline.
我们不能改变
We can't change that.
看来你的新朋友们骗了你
Looks like your new friends lied to you.
他们没打算
They have no intention
去救你可怜又无助的妈妈
of saving your poor, helpless mummy.
你需要我为此做些什么呢 宝贝
Now, what would you have me do about that, my pet?
普鲁登丝 等等
Ho! Prudence, hold on.
别挡路 你们这些猪
Out of my way, you swine.
回头见
Ta-ta.
该死的
Bloody hell.
闭嘴
Shut up.
退后
Stay back.
跟我来 亲爱的
Come, deary.
给这些丑恶的村民看看
Let's show these nasty villagers
真正的魔法是什么样的
what real magic looks like.
刚才进行得怎么样了
Hey, how'd it go out there?
你最好开始收拾你的东西了
Well, you better start packing your things,
因为他刚给整个调查局下了驱逐令
because he just gave the entire Bureau an eviction notice.
你跟他说了那些魔法生物的事吗
Did you tell him about the magical creatures?
说了 他不信 他要证据
Oh, yeah. He's not buying it. He needs proof.
这真是汉克的作风
Oh, that is such a Hank thing.
或许他会相信你
Well, maybe he'll believe you.
为什么你不告诉他真♥相♥呢
Why don't you just tell him the truth?
内特 反正也不会比刚才发生的更糟了
Nate, it can't go worse than what just happened back there.
听着 我一生都在向他证明
Look, I spent my whole life trying to convince Hank
我取得了成功
that I made something of myself,
然后大多数时候 我都是装的
and most of the time, I was faking it, okay?
所以他怎么会突然相信我是个超级英雄
So he's supposed to suddenly believe I'm a superhero
还与独角兽作战过 别想了
who fought a unicorn-- come on.
听着 我知道做好事
Look, I know it's hard doing good
又没人知道 确实很难
when it seems like no one notices,
但我看到了你有做这些事的能力
but I have seen the good that you can do, okay?
所以我相信你现在能帮我们
And that's why I believe that you can help us here,
不是因为你是汉克的儿子 而是因为你
not because you're Hank's son, but because you--
看着我
look at me--
你是个英雄 好吗
you are a hero, okay?
盖瑞在送他出去 我们还有时间
Now, Gary's seeing him out. We still have time.
-你在忽悠我 -起效了吗