驯服怪兽 驯服怪兽
Taming the beast. Taming the beast.
我读到过这个
I read about this. I read about this.
《所罗门魔法♥论♥著》
let's see, "The Magical Treatise of Solomon."
找到了
Here we go.
"要让弥诺陶平息怒吼
"To ease the Minotaur's rage,
他的妈妈会在代达罗斯造的鲁特琴上
"His mother would play him a lullaby
为他弹奏摇篮曲"
on a lute built by Daedalus."
就是这个
That's it.
我们引它过来 催眠它
We'll lure it out and lull it to sleep.
没人会受伤 就连弥诺陶都不会
No one gets hurt, not even the Minotaur.
然后我们就能办个披萨派对了
And then we'll have a pizza party.
我就是那时候发现
And that's when I found out
我来自未来的
I was from the future.
-未来 -是啊
- Whoa, the future. - Yep.
一切都是假的
It was all fake:
我的父母 我的记忆
my parents, my memories,
在弗雷斯♥诺♥长大的
growing up in Fresno.
还是比在神秘罗盘教团里
Still better than spending your childhood
度过你的童年好
with The Order of the Shrouded Compass.
那是和《牛仔裤的姐妹情谊》一样的东西吗
Wh-Is that like the Sisterhood of Traveling Pants?
更糟 是个死亡邪教
Even worse. Death cult.
在这之前 我只是居住在
And before that, I just moved around
不同的精神病院
from one mental institution to the next.
重点是 你很幸运
Point is, you're lucky.
我很幸运
I'm lucky?
我真希望我的过去都是假的
I just wish my past was made up.
怎么 你想有一天醒过来
What, so you can wake up one day
发现你并没有什么家人 朋友
and realize that you don't have any family, friends,
也没有什么值得记忆的人生经历吗
or life experiences to hold on to?
听起来和在监狱里醒过来
Doesn't sound that different
并没什么差别
from waking up in a prison cell.
说得对
Touché.
你们两个是在跟我开玩笑吗
Are you two kidding me right now?
艾娃 你是来自未来的克隆人
Ava, you're a clone from the future,
还掌管着时间调查局
and you run the Time Travel Bureau.
你是个女巫
And you're a witch.
你逃脱了一个邪教
And you escaped a cult
还有一个真正的恶魔
and a real-life demon.
没错
I did.
你们两个简直是我见过的
You two are, like, the two coolest women
最酷的女人
I have ever met,
我还曾经在一次《X档案》粉丝见面会上
and I once met Gillian Anderson
见过吉莲·安德森
at an "X-Files" meet and greet.
蒙娜 你真好
Wow. Mona, you are a gem.
你知道吗 过生日可不能
You know, we can't have a birthday
少了生日蛋糕
without birthday cake.
没错
Yeah!
已经恢复了啊 汉克
Back on your feet already, Hank.
是啊 你的姑娘把我治好了
Yeah, your gal patched me up good.
我正在整理我们的战略
I'm just running through our strategy.
等等 你让他用我们的"龙与地下城"模型
Oh, wait, you let him use our "D&D" Miniatures?
没有 我没让他碰辛德拉
No, I didn't let him touch Cyndra,
黑暗精灵之王
Lord of the Dark Elves.
你们玩"龙与地下城"也不叫我
You guys "D&D" without me too?
儿子 你为什么拿把小吉他
Son, why are you holding a tiny guitar,
或者说我有必要知道吗
or do I even want to know?
这是一把鲁特琴
Oh, this--this is a lute.
有人说战利品吗
Someone say loot?
我们要用这个让弥诺陶沉睡
This is what we're gonna use to put the Minotaur to sleep.
我还以为你说战利品
I thought you said that was loot.
我不懂
I don't understand.
我猜这和里拉琴差不多
Well, I suppose it is more of a lyre.
大家都是骗子
Everyone's a liar.
我们就是这么抓魔法生物的 爸
This is how we're gonna catch our creature, Dad.
-这就是你的计划 -对
- That's your plan? - Yeah.
我们面对的是一个真正的怪物
We're facing a literal monster.
你认为你能用一把鲁特琴毁灭它吗
You think you can destroy it with a lute?
在大♥师♥的手里
Well, in the hands of a master,
鲁特琴就是可怕的武器 看看斯汀 伙计
a lute is a formidable weapon. Just look at Sting, mate.
抱歉打断你们 但是时间线有变化
Sorry to interrupt, but there's a change in the timeline.
圆顶咖啡馆即将遭受袭击
An attack at Cafe du Dome is imminent.
没有一人幸存
There will be no survivors.
弥诺陶一定是在追踪海明威的气味
The Minotaur must be tracking Hemingway's scent.
开始行动吧
Let's move out.
内特尼尔 别拦我
Nathaniel, get out of my way.
我不必再按你说的做了 汉克
I don't have to do what you say anymore, Hank.
是吗 作为你的上司
Really? Because as your superior,
我命令你让开
I'm telling you to stand down.
你又要来上级这套了吗
You're going for the superior thing again?
你不想听我说话 也不想理解我
You know, you don't want to listen to me or understand me.
你只想比我更好
You just--you just want to be better than me.
现在是你提起聆听的
Well, you're one to talk about listening.
你无视了我给你上的每一课
You've ignored every lesson I've ever tried to teach you.
因为都在教同样的东西
Because it's the same lesson over and over again.
你想让变得我更像你 汉克
You want me to be more like you, Hank.
但你猜怎么样 我不像你
But guess what. I'm not like you.
我不喜欢高尔夫节目或·汤姆·克兰西的书
I don't like televised golf or Tom Clancy books
或·七十年代的民谣摇滚
or '70s folk rock.
我不知道你有没有注意到
I don't know if you happened to notice,
但我是一个成年的超级英雄
but I'm a grown-ass superhero...
我只是想给弥诺陶弹鲁特琴
who's just trying to play the lute for a Minotaur.
好吧 你不听你♥爸♥的
Fine, don't want to listen to your old man?
或许你会你听船长的
Maybe you'll listen to your captain.
抱歉 我站内特这边
I'm sorry, but I'm with Nate.
我知道他的主意听起来很疯狂 但他是对的
I know his idea sounds crazy, but he's right.
所以他才是传奇的一员
That's what makes him a Legend,
无论他在哪里
no matter where he is.
你说你想看一次传奇任务
Look, you said you wanted to see a Legends mission.
你将会看到了
Well, you're about to,
如果出了什么差错
and if it goes wrong, well,
你大可以把我们都开除了
you go ahead and fire all of us.
怪物前进了
The beast advanced.
我转头 举起了枪
I turned on him, gun raised.
看来我们达成了共识
Seeing we'd reached an agreement,
我开了枪
I fired!
所以我想我们在短时间内
So I don't think we'll be seeing
不会再看见那个怪物了
that creature anytime soon.
那是什么
And what is that?
想再战一场是吗
Back for another go, are you?
毛球球 过来
Oi, fuzz ball, come on.
来闻闻这个怎么样
Have a nice little whiff of this, will you?
好了 到你了
All right, that's your cue.
好的
Okay.
我没有太多时间练习 但是...
I haven't had much time to rehearse, but...
让我们了结一切吧
Now we end this.
不
No!
我警告你 我会打女人的
I warn you, I will strike a woman.
为了你在我八年级暑期书单上打的
That's for being on my summer eighth grade reading list.
伙计们
Uh, guys?
内特尼尔
Nathaniel!
一直都更喜欢福克纳
Always preferred Faulkner.
这生日还不赖吧
So not a bad birthday, huh?
想到我最开始的计划是
Considering my original plan
看完所有的《购♥房♥♥猎人》
was a "House Hunters" marathon...
那听起来好像不赖
That actually sounds pretty great.
你知道吗
You know what?
你应该拿着这个
You should have this.
你知道你想看的
You know you want to read it.
听着
Look,
我从被关中学到
I learned from being locked up that