早上好 古斯 我的单鳍小宝贝
Morning, Gus, my little one-finned wonder.
你好 妈妈 是我 我就是给你打个电♥话♥
Hello, Mom. It's me. Just checkin' in.
我收到你的明信片了
I got your postcard,
把它摆在古斯的鱼缸上面了
putting it up on Gus' tank now.
对 挺好看的 它已经长大了
Yeah, it's very nice. He is fuming, though.
总是问我为什么不带它出去玩
Keeps asking why I don't take him anywhere nice.
改天再说吧
Maybe one day, right?
它特别想出去
He'd love to get out there,
但是只有一只鳍 哪也去不了 是吧
but it's a bit hard with one fin, innit?
总之 妈妈 我这一切都好 没什么事
Anyway, Mom, all's well here. Not too bad.
每天早上起床 感觉还是像被公交车撞了一样
Still wake up every morning still feeling like I got hit by a bus.
如果你…
And if you...
哥们 还在卖♥♥旧刷子和扫把吗
Hey, mate, still selling the old brushes and brooms, right?
挡着我们家门口了…没事 回头见
Right in front of my entrance. It's... Got no problem with it. Cheers.
抱歉没接到你的电♥话♥ 妈妈
Anyway, sorry I missed you, Mom.
我明天再给你打 回见
I'll try you again tomorrow. Laters, gators.
该死 等等
Oh, bloody hell. Wait!
混♥蛋♥
Bollocks.
你好
Cheers.
古代埃及
看看这是什么
Will you look at that?
看来有人把吉萨大金字塔
Looks like someone mistook
错当成垃圾桶了
the Great Pyramid of Giza for a rubbish dump.
反正里面什么都没有
It's not like there's anything in there.
对 也许没有吧
Yeah. Maybe not.
但是那里面的东西
But in there
可非常恐怖
is something wicked.
你看 这有个大铁钩 对吧
Check it out. They'd take this big metal hook, right?
他们会用它钩住鼻子 然后…
And they go up the old nozzle and...
所有的器官就都钩出来了 除了心脏以外
All the organs would come out. Except for the heart.
为什么
How come?
因为他们认为你要有心脏
Because they believed you needed your heart
才能接受冥界的审判
to be judged in the Underworld
只有合格的人
and only the worthiest
才能穿过芦苇原
would be allowed to pass through the Field of Reeds.
那你是不是不合格 是不是进不去芦苇原
And did it suck for you? Getting rejected from the Field of Reeds?
当然不是 我还没死呢 对么
That doesn't make sense 'cause I'm not dead, am I?
-史蒂维 -我…
Stevie. -Am I...
-你又在不务正业
-That better not be you again.
-对不起 唐娜 对不起 我来吧
-Sorry, Donna. Yeah, sorry. Got it.
好了
There we go.
我不知道和你说过多少次了
Don't know how many times I have to tell you this.
你不是什么讲解员 史蒂维
You're not the bloody tour guide, Stevie.
是史蒂文 其实我是…史蒂文
Steven, actually. I am... Steven.
不 你是个废物
No, you're bloody useless
要不然你就做好你的本职工作
unless you're actually doing what you're paid to do,
把这些卖♥♥给孩子们
which is to sell these to children.
明白
Got it.
你好
Hello.
-你好 -糖果卖♥♥得怎么样
-Hello. -How's the sugar trade going?
我不知道这和埃及有什么关系
I don't know what this has to do with Egypt really.
那个时候他们可没有糖果 根本没有
They didn't have that back then, did they? No.
他们喜欢的是无花果和椰枣 还有…
They liked figs and dates, and...
我的下个团开始入场了 明天还是7点对吗
My next tour's here but just checking, we still on for 7:00 tomorrow?
-“明天7点” -“城里最好吃的牛排 ”
"7:00 tomorrow"? -"Best steak in town"?
-对 没错 -好
Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. -Yeah? Okay.
抱歉 但是…
Sorry. But...
-怎么了 -你是在约我出去吗
-What? -Are you asking me out?
你真有意思 到时见
You're funny. I'll see you then. -
史蒂维 你这家伙 没想到你还挺主动的
Stevie, you absolute rascal. I didn't know you had taken a crack.
我也没想到
I didn't know either.
等等 她是说牛排吗
Hang on, did she say steak?
一个吃素的在牛排馆里能吃什么
What in the world's a bloody vegan gonna eat in a steak house?
我也不知道 唐娜 沙拉 面包
I don't know, Donna. Salad? Bread?
我明白她为什么约你了 你确实挺有意思的
Yeah, I can see why she went for it. Real catch you are.
-把那些河马拿过来 好吗 -没问题
-Bring those hippos up here, will you? -Yeah, sure.
塔沃里特 这个河马是塔沃里特女神
Taweret. The hippo, Goddess Taweret.
唐娜 我差点忘了
Oh, Donna, that reminds me.
今天早上来的时候 我看见外面的横幅了
When I was coming in this morning, I saw the banners outside.
你怎么上班又迟到了
And that's what made you late for work again, was it?
抱歉
No. Sorry about that.
-公交车来早了… -这周第三次了
-The bus came early... -Third time this week
-你就是个懒虫 -我知道
-you've shuffled in like a lazy sod. -I know.
这周你来清点库存 活该
That's why you'll be on inventory this week. Well done.
好吧 遵命 船长
All right. Aye, aye, Captain.
但是我想说的是
But no. I wanted to tell you that
那个横幅和九柱神的海报…
the banners and the posters of the Ennead...
-你说什么 -九柱神
-The what? -The Ennead?
就是古埃及的众神
You know, like, the super group of Egyptian gods?
-有荷鲁斯 欧西里斯 泰芙努特… -别说了
-You got Horus, Osiris, Tefnut... -Stop, please.
就算现在是讲解员的试讲
If this is some weird audition to tour guide here,
你也不合格
the answer's still no.
不 我是说…你这话太伤人了
No. What I'm trying... That's actually crushing to hear.
但是我想说的是…
But what I'm trying to point out...
我不是在说营销部的坏话
I'm not trying to slag off marketing,
但是这里有个严重的问题
but there's been a major blunder
因为这里只有七个神 而九柱神有九个
because they've got seven gods here, and the Ennead has nine.
有两个因为迟到被我开除了
I fired two of them for bein' late.
听好了 你再这么没完没了的
Listen, if you don't stop natterin' at me,
我保证把你扔石棺里去
I swear I'll shove you in a sarcophagus.
你可以去跟法老抱怨哪里出错了
You can tell the pharaoh in there what's wrong with them and all.
-继续干活 -好吧
-Go on. -All right.
-赶紧走 别管了 -抱歉
-Go. Now. Oh, leave it. -Yeah. I'm sorry.
别管了 给我出去 离我远点
Just leave it. Get out. Go away from me.
好吧 很高兴和你说话
All right, always lovely to chat.
-晚安 JB -晚安 斯科蒂
-Hey. Good night, J.B. -Good night, Scotty.
-回见 哥们 -斯科蒂
-See ya, mate. -Scotty?
我叫史蒂文 史 蒂 文
It's Steven. With a "V".
明天见
See you tomorrow.
说实话 就像是我的身体想站起来
Honestly, it's like my body wants to get up
到处溜达 走上个一万步
and wander about, you know, like it has to get the 10,000 steps in.
知道吗 我什么都不知道
You know? And I don't even know about it
直到我在某个地方醒过来
until I wake up wherever.
这就是为什么我整夜都不敢合眼 你觉得呢
That's why I try to stay awake at night. What do you think?
没错 你说得对
Nah. You're right. I mean, I guess
我知道人们还会做更奇怪的事 但是…
there are stranger things that people do, but...
不 我觉得有点奇怪…抱歉
No? Well, I think it's a bit... I'm sorry.
我再给自己买♥♥点糖吃
Extra pralines for the man himself.
刚才我说的那个女孩 那个同事
So, the girl I was telling you about, the one from work.
-明天我们要去约会 -不好意思
-We're going on a date tomorrow. -Excuse me.
-您能帮我们拍张照吗 -当然
-Can you take our picture with him? -Sure.
-谢谢 -我们要去约会了
-Thank you. -We're going on a date.
我都没问过她 不知道怎么回事就约了
I didn't even ask her. I don't know how it happened.
一 二 三
One. Two. Three.
-给你 不客气 -谢谢
-There you are. Cheers. -Thank you.
-别忘了给小费 -好的
Oh, yes.
-干杯 -谢谢
-Cheers. -Thank you.
总之 如果什么时候我有女朋友了
Anyway, if I am gonna have a girlfriend, at some point,
我的床上肯定不能有脚铐 对吧
obviously can't have ankle restraints on my bed, can I?
那肯定就完蛋了 对吧
That's like the definition of a red flag, isn't it?
你知道我的意思吧 你肯定知道我的意思
You know what I mean, yeah? Yeah, you know what I mean.
我得想个办法
Gotta figure something out.
好吧 我得走了
All right, I better jog on.
和你聊的很开心
Nice catching up.
回头再聊
I will see you on the flip-flop.
好了 再见
All right, laters.
你好 欢迎来到《保持清醒》
Hello! And welcome to Staying Awake.
咱们先来试试解决谜题吧
Let's start with trying to solve a puzzle.
解谜可以有效帮助你保持清醒
Solving puzzles is a great way to keep your mind awake.
厌倦了解谜 那试试读书吧
Bored with puzzles? Try a book.
读书可以让你的头脑清醒注意力集中