I started dating Beth Ann in high school.
She used to make me sandwiches and sew buttons on my shirts.
I tell you, there's nothing sexier than a girl
who likes to take care of you.
I was introduced to Simone at a benefit.
Oh, the entrance she made.
Designer gown, dripping in diamonds.
You could tell from the way she walked,
she knew she was fabulous.
I first saw Taylor at a women's march.
She was giving a speech about dismantling the patriarchy.
And I don't really remember much of it,
because the entire time she was speaking, I was just thinking,
"That is one hot feminist."
Beth Ann was a virgin on our wedding night.
I was Simone's third husband.
Right away, Taylor told me she was bisexual.
She wanted nothing more than to be a housewife.
Oh, she loved to shop and throw parties.
So I married a lawyer.
My Jewish parents were thrilled.
We were very happy, for the first few years.
Until she discovered my secret.
And then, all hell broke loose.
Can you believe it?
Oh, Rob. It's lovely.
And it's so big.
Well, it's a mansion, is what it is.
Yeah, you're married to a guy
who can afford a goddamn mansion.
- Hello. - Hello.
我是希拉·莫斯科尼 这是我老公 利奥
Sheila Mosconi. This is my husband, Leo.
I guess you're our new neighbors.
I must apologize for my husband's language.
He's excited because we've never lived anywhere this nice before.
- He doesn't usually swear. - Relax.
-我们是布鲁克林的 -是的 我们才他妈不在乎
- We're from Brooklyn. - Yeah. We don't give a fuck.
Well, it was lovely to meet you.
After you unpack, invite us over.
I'll give you the skinny on all the neighbors.
You know, who to avoid.
She just wants to see if your furniture's nicer than ours.
I married a tightwad.
I know that her furniture is nicer than ours.
The moving men will be here any second.
After they're done, we would love to host you.
I saw you talking to the neighbors.
What are they like?
I'm in here, Simone.
Oh. The phone is going to ring any second.
It'll be Henri, my hairdresser, and he will be livid.
- What have you done? - I'm 20 minutes late.
Again. He's gonna try to say he's given away my appointment.
Don't let him. Insist I left an hour ago,
and that you're beyond frantic.
可以吗 亲爱的 你能为我撒谎吗
Can you do that, darling? Can you lie for me?
Well, last week, I told Delia Butrose you'd never had work done.
This is why you're the best husband I've ever had.
I was just hoping to be in the top three.
Wish me luck.
Our party starts at 7:00.
You know me. I'm never late.
For a party.
-哥们 -我刚收到你短信 怎么了
- My man. - I just got your text. What's up?
Actually, it's my wife.
She requires a little face time.
-你好 索尔 -你好
- Hey, Saul. - Hey.
Hey. I just had a quick question
about the blueprints for the remodel.
- What seems to be the problem? - Well, see,
I asked for a window to be put in the side of the building.
but you put it in the back.
Yeah. I had to do it that way.
Okay, but why?
Well, it's a structural thing.
It's hard to explain.
Well, I'm a smart girl. Give it a try.
放轻松 甜心 装好了会很棒的
Relax, sweetheart, it's gonna look great.
Okay, Saul, here's what I think is going on.
You want to finish this job quickly
and move on to the next one, and it's easier
to put the window there instead of where I want it.
Am I right?
I've been in construction 40 years.
No one's ever questioned my integrity.
And until you can speak my language,
you're just gonna have to trust me, sweetie.
I may not understand construction,
but I do understand contracts.
Especially the one you signed,
which clearly states that I don't have to pay you
unless the work is completed to my satisfaction.
And that means, for the purpose of this,
and all future conversations,
my dick is bigger than yours.
Am I speaking your language now, Saul?
It's okay, man.
Her dick's also bigger than mine.
You get used to it.
I found the coasters. They were in the last box I looked in.
Sheila and Leo were just telling me about the neighborhood.
You are gonna love the supermarket.
It's five blocks away and it's got everything.
I can't wait.
I have so much shopping to do.
And the schools here are excellent. You guys got kids?
Well, we have four little rug rats.
At some point, they are gonna break something that you own.
Not to worry. We will pay for it.
We make up for being bad parents
by being good neighbors.
why do I get the feeling we've met before?
I don't know, Leo.
I mean, your face looks so familiar to me.
What do you do for a living?
I'm in aerospace engineering.
Ever hear of Cyther-Tech?
- No. - They have contracts with NASA.
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