你为什么要那么做
And why would you do that?
是你对我隐瞒了你的性生活
You're the one who kept your sex life hidden.
我有婚姻的啊
I was married.
如果你把我赶出家门
If you kick me to the curb,
我也就没理由不出柜了
I'll have no reason - not to come out.
到时候你 就会成为下一个格蕾丝·贝尔纳普
And then you, my love, will be another Grace Belknap.
还记得格蕾丝吗
Remember Grace?
你是在威胁我吗
Are you threatening me?
没错 她丈夫好像跟一个木匠私奔了
Yes, her husband ran off with their carpenter, I believe.
你那些朋友们都很恶毒
Oh, your friends were so catty.
老天呐 卡尔
For God's sake, Karl...
但你是其中最残酷无情的 萨蒙妮
But you were the cruelest of all, Simone.
「可怜的格蕾丝
"Oh, poor Grace.
她的木匠有寻柱器 而她的丈夫有"寻鸡器"」
"I suppose her carpenter wasn't the only one with a stud finder."
我猜 如果你沦落到同样的境地
Oh, I imagine those women would relish the poetic justice
那些女人也同样会嘲笑和诋毁你的
if you wound up in the same boat.
你为什么要这么做
Why are you doing this?
我在为我们未来的幸福而抗争
I am fighting for our future happiness.
通过胁迫我吗
By blackmailing me.
就像我说的
Well, like I said...
不惊天动地 你就毫无反应
you don't respond to small gestures.
你以为你在干什么
What do you think you're doing?
什么意思
What do you mean?
你是有很多条泳裤的 伊莱
You own swim trunks, Eli, multiple pairs.
为什么要让洁德和我看到你的光屁♥股
So why did Jade and I just get a face full of ass?
-这个... -我来告诉你是为什么
- Well... - I'll tell you why.
你以为如果你让我和洁德独处
You thought if you left Jade and I alone to get comfortable,
我们就会松懈下来 燃起性♥欲
we'd get a little loose, a little frisky,
然后你就可以乘虚而入
and then you could just slide right in
然后今晚就可以来一场三人行
and the three of us would fuck the night away.
我也许的确这么想过 是的
That may have been on my wish list, yes.
计划还挺靠谱
Solid plan.
但不可能实现的
Not gonna happen.
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
但如果可以呢
But what if it did?
你想想啊
I mean, think about it.
我们喜欢和对方啪啪
We like sex with each other.
我们也都喜欢和辣妹啪啪
We like sex with hot women.
这也是我们关系融洽的原因
It's one of the reasons we work as a couple.
我们有很多共同点
We've got so much in common.
我们这样是没关系
That's fine for us.
但洁德会怎么想
But what about Jade?
我...我很确定她喜欢我
Oh, I'm... I'm pretty sure she's into me.
什么 为什么
What? Why?
那天她一直不停地说
The other day, she was going on and on
她有多喜欢我的电影
about how much she liked my movie.
我喜欢《闪灵》
I liked The Shining.
但不代表我想跟斯蒂芬·金上床
That doesn't mean I want to fuck Stephen King.
好吧 如果你不确定
Okay, all right. Well, well, if you're not sure
她感不感兴趣的话
that she'd be into it,
就问她
ask her.
不 那样太奇怪了
No, it'd be weird.
怎么奇怪了
Weird how?
我不知道她有没有那么开放
Like, I don't know if she's that adventurous.
她可是跟你在试衣间里做了啊
She fucked you in a fitting room!
好吧 对我们来说会很奇怪
Okay. It would be weird for us.
我们之前从来没做过类似的事情
We've never done anything like this before.
其实没什么大不了
No, it doesn't have to be a big deal.
我们已经是开放式婚姻了
No, we-we've already got an open marriage.
为什么不能开放给洁德呢
Why can't it be open to Jade?
好吧
Fine.
我会去问她愿不愿意三人行
I'll ask her for a three-way.
这样能不能让你闭嘴
Will that shut you up?
你知道这肯定可以的
I think you know it will.
但我们不能向她施压
Okay, but we won't pressure her.
绝对不会
No. No, no.
我会把她带到一边 郑重问她
I will take her aside, I will ask respectfully,
如果她拒绝的话...
and if she says no...
她同意了
She says yes.
你们来不来
You two coming or what?
他老板看到你的胸了
His boss saw your tits?
别把事情说得比本身还要遭
Don't make it sound worse than it was.
我可能做不到
I'm not sure I could.
我当时真的很生气
I was so angry.
我全身上下都换了行头
I changed my whole look.
罗伯都没有注意到
Rob did not even notice.
这是我的看法
Here's my two cents, all right?
听仔细了
Spend them wisely.
罗伯出轨并不是因为
Rob isn't cheating on you because you don't wear
你的穿着没有紧跟巴黎时尚潮流
the latest styles from Paris.
什么意思
What do you mean?
妈妈 迈克打我
Ma! Mikey hit me.
我是你保镖吗
What am I, your bodyguard?
打回去
Hit him back.
我的意思是
So what I mean is,
你的性生活怎么样
how is your love life?
你尽力保持他对你的兴趣了吗
Are you doing everything you can to keep him interested?
希拉
Sheila.
有时候老狗也需要一些新花样
Sometimes old dogs need new tricks.
新花样
New tricks?
我新婚之夜时还是处女
I was a virgin on my wedding night.
我只会罗伯愿意教我的那些
I only know what Rob was willing to teach me.
有本书你该看看
There's a book that you should read.
{\an8}《婚姻解刨学》
这是什么
What is this?
这是本手册
It's a manual.
给夫妻用的
For married couples.
这都是小黄图
These are dirty pictures!
这是图解
They're illustrations.
都是很科学的
They're scientific.
你为什么会有这个
Why do you have this?
有段时间我和利奥觉得
There was a time that Leo and I felt
我们的性生活需要一点刺♥激
our love life needed a little zing.
你真的会照着这些做
And you actually do these things?
你看到76页了吗
You see page 76?
看到了
Yes.
我们就是这样怀上本尼的
That's how we got Benny.
天哪
Oh, dear.
这不是新手级别的
Yeah. That's not for beginners.
你往回翻几章
Let's go back a few chapters.
这个很经♥典
Ah. That's a classic.
我们喜欢洗澡的时候用这个姿♥势
We like to do that in the shower.
你为利奥做了这个
You've done that to Leo?
我的庞蒂亚克...
That's...
就是这么来的
how I got my Pontiac.
你真的觉得罗伯会喜欢这些吗
And you really think Rob will like these things?
是的
I do.
而且...
And...
这样之后我不会觉得很羞耻吗
I won't feel humiliated after?
性是女性获得权力的方式
Sex is how women gain power over men.
这没什么好羞耻的
And there is nothing humiliating about that.
开合跳
Jumping jacks!
二 三 四
Two, three, four,
五 六 七 八
five, six, seven, eight...
萨蒙妮 我从没见你练得这么狠过
Simone, I've never seen you work out so fiercely.
我在想你是不是有什么烦心事
I began to wonder if maybe you're upset about something.
完全没有
Not at all.
就是来消耗掉你送的松糕的
Just burning off the muffins you sent.
所以卡尔回家了吗
So, Karl's home?
是的
Yes.
一切都正常吗
And everything's fine?
是的
Yes.
为什么这么问
Why do you ask?