我才会把你当做我前妻介绍给大家
why I introduce you to people as my first wife.
你真逗
Yeah, that's funny.
一切还好吗
Is everything okay?
还好 我现在只想和你跳舞
Yeah. I just really want to dance with you right now.
-好啊 那就跳吧 -好的
- Yeah, let's do it. - Okay.
-来吧 -洁德
- Come on. - Jade!
我的天
Oh, my God!
薇沙 我的天呐
Wischa! Oh, my God!
她刚才是说"薇沙"吗
Did she say "Wischa"?
-是的吧 -二位
- I think so. - You guys.
这是我的朋友 薇珞和米沙
These are my friends, Willow and Mischa.
薇沙 我懂了
Wischa. Ah, I get it.
这是泰勒和伊莱
This is, uh, Taylor and Eli.
你们是怎么认识洁德的
How do you two know Jade?
我们去年遇到她
We met her last year.
完全是一见钟情
Oh, and it was love at first sight.
我的天 你们嘴好甜
Oh, my God, you guys!
姐妹 你看起来太他妈赞了
Girl, you look fucking amazing.
她什么时候不他妈赞啊
Mmm, when fucking doesn't she?
从他妈没有过fucking never.
我感觉我们不是洁德的第一次三人行
I'm getting the feeling that we weren't Jade's first threesome.
我不明白 你为什么想要
I don't get it. Why would you want to
和这个淫♥妇做朋友
start palling around with this tramp?
因为我想阻止她继续见我的丈夫
Because I want to stop her from seeing my husband.
在里亚托给她买爆米花算什么
And how is buying her popcorn at the Rialto
阻止她的手段
gonna make that happen?
我在努力建立信任
I'm trying to establish trust.
如果一个陌生人走过来 说你的裙子很丑
If a stranger came up and said your dress was ugly,
你会怎么说
what would you say?
我会说滚开
I'd say fuck off.
但是如果一位好友温柔地暗示
But if a dear friend gently suggested
橘色不太适合你呢
orange is not your best color?
我会把裙子扔掉
I'd get rid of the dress.
如果我要说服艾普尔
If I'm to convince April
和一个已婚男人约会对她没好处
it's not in her best interest to date a married man,
首先我必须成为她的闺蜜
first I must become her confidant.
她的情感顾问
Her close advisor.
懂了
Okay.
那这段新友谊何时开启
So when does this new friendship begin to blossom?
今晚
Tonight.
我以为罗伯今晚要带她去俱乐部
I thought Rob was taking her to the club tonight.
你当真以为我会坐视不管吗
Do you honestly think I'm going to let that happen?
你还好吗
You all right?
-不 我很紧张 -为什么
- No, I'm nervous. - Why?
我们认识的所有人今晚都会在这里
Everyone we know will be in this room tonight.
你已惊艳过他们无数次
You've dazzled them all a hundred times.
因为我知道他们有多嫉妒我
Because I knew how much they envied me.
如果他们知道真相 定会当面嘲笑我
They'd laugh in my face if they knew the truth about us.
我有个建议 不要告诉他们
Here's a thought. Don't tell them.
大家终究会琢磨出来的
People will be able to figure it out.
你真的以为我们是这里唯一一对
Do you honestly believe we're the only couple here
不加伪装的夫妇吗
pretending to be something that we're not?
-对 -相信我
- No. - Trust me,
今晚这里的每一个女子
there is not a woman here tonight
如果有你一半漂亮的话 都会愿意
who wouldn't trade all of her problems for yours
用她自己所有的难题
if she looked half as beautiful
来跟你交换位置
as you do right now.
但是如果一切都是谎言的话
But what good is other people's envy
别人的嫉妒又有什么用呢
if it's all based on a lie?
我不确定
I'm not sure.
我们去一探究竟吧
Let's find out.
萨蒙妮 你简直美呆了
Simone! You look stunning.
你看上去像个少♥女
And you look like a teenager.
你的皮肤怎会如此柔软
How do you get your skin so soft?
是一种化学换肤术
It's called a chemical peel.
我知道 再弄一次她就变成歌剧魅影了
I know. One more and she'll be the Phantom of the Opera.
-萨蒙妮 -亲爱的 你好 巴克利
- Simone! - Darling. Hello, Barclay.
桑迪 你从戒瘾所出来了
Sandy, you're out of rehab.
别担心 我会回去的
Don't worry, I'll be back.
-或许我该去找咱们的桌子 -没必要
- Maybe I should go and find our table. - No need.
我已经安排我们坐在这里了
I've arranged for us all to sit here.
一起吗 有意思
Together? What fun.
我想现在去吧台一下比较好
I think this is a good time to find the bar.
酒马上来 萨蒙妮
Liquor's on it's way, Simone,
由整个派对上最可爱的侍应生端给你
brought to you by the most adorable waiter at the party.
喝红酒吗 格罗夫太太
Wine, Mrs. Grove?
汤米
Tommy.
你是我们的侍应生吗
You're our waiter?
没错 格罗夫太太
Yes, Mrs. Grove.
格罗夫先生
Mr. Grove.
你好
Hello.
走吗 亲爱的
Shall we, darling?
那么米沙 你们是做什么的
So, Mischa, what do you guys do for a living?
我们是网红
Oh, uh, we're influencers.
网红
Influencers?
在Instagram上
On Instagram.
我们挺有名的
We're sort of famous.
是吗
Are you?
对 账号名叫处处有内衣
Yeah, it's called @UnderwearEverywhere.
那些内衣品牌给我们一大笔钱
All these underwear brands pay us stupid money
上传穿着他们产品的照片
to post pictures wearing their stuff.
去全世界各个著名地标建筑打卡
At famous landmarks, like, all over the world.
你看
Yo, check it.
泰姬陵的管理人员也不介意吗
And the Taj Mahal people, they were okay with that?
我们快进快出
Ah, we were in and out lickety-split.
玩得可开心了
We had the best time.
我们很想你 小洁德
We've missed you, little Jade.
我也很想你们
Oh, I missed you.
你们要在这里待多久
So, um, how long are you guys here?
我们明晚去威尼斯
We leave tomorrow night for Venice.
-不是吧 -这么快
- No. - Oh, so soon.
真可惜
Oh, that sucks.
我还希望能多跟你们待一阵呢
I was hoping I'd have more time to hang out with you guys.
是啊 真可惜
Yeah, it sucks.
-等等 米沙 -怎么
- Wait, Mischa. - What?
我有个好主意
I just had an idea.
我知道你在想什么 简直太聪明了
I know what you're thinking, and it's fucking brilliant.
你在想什么
What are you thinking?
明天跟我们一起去威尼斯吧
Come with us to Venice tomorrow.
-天哪 -明天 真的吗
- Oh, my God. - Tomorrow? Really?
对啊 会很好玩的
Yeah, it would be so much fun.
这个...
Well...
她没有机票啊
She doesn't have a plane ticket.
我们的助理可以搞定
Our assistant can take care of that.
-你们还有助理吗 -对
- You guys have an assistant? - Yeah.
各位 拜托 这么急
Guys, come on, it's such short notice.
机票钱会很贵的
That'll cost a fortune.
拜托 我们里程数超多的
Oh, please, we've got tons of miles.
-真的吗 -对
- Really? - Yeah.
你有能用的护照吗
Do you have a current passport?
我想是的
I think so, yeah.
天哪
Oh, my God.
等等
Um, hold on.
你不能一时兴起就出国
You can't just leave the country on a whim.
太没责任感了
It's irresponsible.
好吧 老妈 天哪 冷静点
Okay, Mom. Geez, calm down.
你说什么
Excuse me?
天哪
Oh, my God!
这首歌我太喜欢了
Oh... this song is my jam!
各位 来跳舞吧 快来
Guys, let's dance. Come on.
-就是 来跳舞吧 -好吧 来跳吧
- Yeah, let's dance. - All right, let's do it.
来吧 快来 兄弟
Come on. Let's go, bro.