I need to keep him busy.
先让我搞清楚 大家不在的时候
Just so I'm clear, people leave town
把家门钥匙给汤米
and give Tommy the keys to their homes?
我知道你在想什么 但是汤米
I know what you're thinking, but Tommy is
很值得信赖 他动作也很快
very trustworthy... and quick, too.
他会快进快出的
He'd be in and out.
我相信他一定会待到把工作"做完"才离开
I'm sure he'd stay long enough to get the job done.
那是当然
Of course.
我能把你们家算进去吗
Can I count you in?
何乐而不为呢
Oh, why not?
我们都很喜欢汤米 不是吗 亲爱的
We like Tommy, don't we, darling?
没错
Oh, yes.
我们当然喜欢他了
We certainly do.
可怜的艾普尔
Poor April.
如果你能看到她那副面庞
If you could have seen her face.
你不会想要让我接近淫♥妇那张脸的
Oh, you don't want me anywhere near that tramp's face
因为我会扇死她
because I will slap it.
今晚对她很重要
It's her big night.
她很想让我去 我深感荣幸
I was honored she wanted me to come so badly.
她就没其他朋友了吗
Doesn't she have any other friends?
还是说她也睡了她们的丈夫们
Or did she sleep with their husbands, too?
我很欣慰罗伯会去
I'm glad Rob is going.
她需要有人在那里鼓励她
She needs someone there to cheer her on.
我不明白
I don't get it.
这是场战争
This is war.
你正在跟另一个女人
You are fighting with another woman
争夺你的丈夫 而你快输了
over your husband and you are losing.
亲爱的
Honey!
他回来得真早 我在里面 罗伯
He's home early. I'm in here, Rob.
如果他告诉你 他周二得加班到很晚
If he tells you that he's got to work late Tuesday,
我就立刻吐一地
I will vomit and you will have to mop
你就得重新拖一遍地板
this floor up all over again.
你在这呢 你猜怎么着
There you are. Guess what?
我有好消息
I have amazing news.
是吗
You do?
我有两张世界职棒大赛的票
I got two tickets to the World Series.
什么时候的
For when?
我来猜猜看 周二吗
Let me guess. Tuesday?
还真的是周二
As a matter of fact, yeah.
是我老板送给我的
My boss gave them to me as a gift,
座位就在本垒后面
and they are right behind home plate.
你打算带谁去
Who are you taking?
这还用问吗
What do you mean, who am I taking?
当然是带我心爱的女孩
Only my best girl.
让我看看票
Let me see those.
我♥操
Holy crap!
他有两张世界职棒大赛的票
He's got two tickets to the World Series.
我刚才不是说了吗
Isn't that what I just said?
是周二的票吗
And these are for Tuesday?
对
Yeah.
怎么了
What's wrong?
我就想确认一下
Well, I just want to make sure
我们有没有忘了
we haven't forgotten about any plans
之前给周二定下的什么安排
we might have made for Tuesday?
不管之前安排了什么 都通通取消
Well, whatever plans we made, consider them canceled.
我和我的娇妻 以及道奇队和洋基队有个约会
I've got a date with my wife, the Dodgers and the Yankees.
好吧
Okay.
怎么了 你为什么不高兴
What's going on here? Why aren't you happy?
她可高兴了
Oh, she is very happy.
她只是不习惯你突然这么好
She's just not used to you being so wonderful.
罗伯 麻烦你先出去 我们还没拖完地
Rob, give us a second. We're not through with the mopping.
我得打给卡尔
I got to call Carl.
他会嫉妒得发狂
He's gonna be so jealous.
艾普尔会心碎的
April is going to be heartbroken.
谁管艾普尔死活啊
To hell with April.
你得着眼于大局
You've got to focus on the big picture.
他在你和她之间选了你
He's choosing you over her.
你要赢了
You're winning.
看来是的
I guess I am.
泰勒打来过
Hey. Taylor called.
她到弗雷斯诺了
Her plane landed in Fresno.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
自杀
Killing myself.
-用芝士吗 -没错
- With cheese? - Yeah. My plan is
我的计划就是吃到爆肥 然后死于高血压
to get super fat and then die of hypertension.
那得花好一段时间
That might take a while.
只有伟大的作家才有资格迅速死掉
Only great writers deserve quick deaths.
海明威 沃尔夫 普拉斯
Hemingway, Wolfe, Plath.
而我 我是个无才的作家
Me? I'm a bad writer,
我只配慢慢受折磨而死
so I deserve to die slowly,
充满痛苦 充满厌恶
painfully... disgustingly.
家里有黄芥末吗
Do we have any mustard?
没有
No.
但我们有蛋黄酱
But we have mayonnaise.
调味品中的战斗机
Oh, yes, the condiment of hacks.
拿过来
Bring it to me.
怎么了
What's going on?
如果我明早不能把剧本给他
My agent's gonna drop me
我的经纪人就要炒了我
if I don't get him my script by tomorrow morning.
你还没写完吗
And you're not finished?
我已经写了50页了 但是很糟糕
I-I've written 50 pages. Each just worst than the last.
别这么说
I doubt that.
我是说我还没写第三幕
I mean, I have no third act.
我就坐在这
I keep sitting here,
盯着我那唯一大火电影的海报
staring at the poster of my one and only hit,
{\an8}《昨日珍妮》
祈祷有灵感到来
praying for some sort of inspiration.
看得越久我越明白
And the longer I look at it, the more I realize...
那只是昙花一现
it was a fluke.
我是说 出色的导演 一流的演员
I mean, brilliant director, stellar cast,
把我写的废话变成金子
all turning my crap dialogue into gold.
我该怎么告诉泰勒
How am I gonna tell Taylor
我失去了我的经纪人
that I lost my fucking agent?
把那50页给我
Give me the 50 pages.
干嘛 你要用来打我吗
Why, so you can beat me with them?
我觉得我能给你一些真诚的建议
Because I think it might help you to get some honest feedback.
你懂写作吗
Do you know anything about writing?
我知道我喜欢什么
I know what I like.
如果我觉得你的剧本写得不错
And if I think that your script's in decent shape,
你就有信心把它写完了
you'll have the confidence to finish the damn thing.
好吧 如果这50页只是我写的屁话呢
Yeah, and what if it's just 50 pages of me shitting the bed?
那么我就去商店给你买
Then I will go to the store and I will buy you
所有人类已知的奶酪
every kind of cheese known to man.
还有蛋黄酱
And mayonnaise.
我需要吃很多蛋黄酱
Gonna need lots of mayonnaise.
罗伯 你在干嘛 我们要迟到了
Rob, what are you doing? We're going to be late.
我在找我的旧棒球手套
I'm looking for my old baseball glove.
也许我能让桑迪·科法斯在上面签名
Maybe I can get Sandy Koufax to sign it.
今晚别打扰科法斯先生了 他要工作
Don't bother Mr. Koufax tonight. He'll be working.
签个名的时间还是有的
Eh, he can sign one glove.
也许是在车库的某个箱子里
Maybe it's in one of the boxes in the garage.
不 应该在这里面的
No, it should be in this one.
斯坦顿家
Stanton residence.
等等
Hold on.
也许你是对的
Maybe you're right about the garage.
去找下工具屉旁的盒子 我得接个电话
Check the box by the tool drawer. I got to take this.
是谁
Who is it?
一个同事 我马上下来
Uh, a guy from work. Uh, I'll be right down.
你♥他♥妈以为你在干嘛
What the hell do you think you're doing?
我说了不能打电话到我家
I said never to call me here.
我已经告诉你了我和我妻子有事
I already told you, I got plans with my wife.