才不是呢
Not even close.
我12岁的时候 非常羡慕这奢华的一切
When I was 12, I used to covet things like this.
我有一次悄悄拿了有污渍的床单回家
Once, I took some satin sheets home.
我想知道那种床单的触感
I wanted to see what it felt like
睡上去的感觉 哪怕只有一晚
to sleep on them, just for one night.
我妈妈发现了 她非常生气
My mother caught me. She was so angry.
她命令我立刻洗好并熨好了它们
She made me wash and iron them right there.
那可是凌晨2点啊
It was 2:00 in the morning.
然后她就把床单拿走了
And then she took them away.
真可惜
That's a shame.
我妈说 如果你想睡贵的床单
Mother said, "If you want to sleep on expensive sheets,
那就好好挑一挑枕边人
choose wisely who you sleep next to."
所以她基本就是要你嫁给有钱人
So, uh, she basically told you to marry for money.
这个可真不是什么好建议
That's, uh, some really bad advice.
我这样做了两次
Well, I followed it twice.
在遇到卡尔之前 我不觉得自己能为爱结婚
I didn't think of marrying for love until Karl.
我之前从没跟人讲过这事
I never told that story before.
给任何人听
To anyone.
谢谢你先告诉了我
Thanks for telling me first.
如果你真的想谢我
If you really want to thank me,
就过来这里
get over here.
我感觉很糟糕
Oh, I feel so badly about this.
让你费了这么大劲
After you went to all the trouble
载我从机场回来
of taking me to the airport.
没关系 乔伊斯
It's fine, Joyce.
你生病的时候 没有人会非要强迫你搭乘飞机的
Nobody expects you to get on a plane when you're feeling ill.
是苗圃店的车
Oh, it's the plant van.
汤米肯定在
Tommy must be here.
最终我跟伊莱坦白了
So, finally, I confessed to Eli
洁德对我的重要性
how much Jade meant to me,
他也同意让她一直跟我们住在一起
and he agreed to let her live with us, permanently.
我知道这种方式很不传统
Yes, I know, it's unconventional,
你们可能会不赞同
and you probably don't approve,
但是我们相处得很融洽
but... it's working.
只要你们高兴就好
Well, as long as you're happy.
那才是最重要的
That's what matters.
真的吗
Really?
你们就只想说这些吗
That's all you have to say?
既然你这么问 我问一个问题
Since you asked, I have a question.
-来了 -你还爱着伊莱吗
- Here we go. - Do you still love Eli?
-当然 -而你还爱着这个女人
- Of course. - And you also love this woman?
是的 我很好奇他们之间是什么感觉
Yes. I'm wondering, how do they feel about each other?
这个嘛...
Oh. Well...
我就知道她还没有想过这件事
I knew she hadn't thought it through.
-根本没想过 -没错
- Hadn't even crossed her mind. - Mm-hmm.
等等 伊莱和洁德也喜欢彼此
Hold on. Eli and Jade like each other.
那不是问题
That's not a problem.
现在还不是 万一他比你更喜欢她了呢
Not yet. What happens when he likes her more than you?
等她受够了跟别人分享爱人呢
What happens when she gets tired of sharing?
-那你怎么办 女士 -变成局外人
- Where does that leave you, missy? - On the outside
眼睁睁看着他们在一起
looking in, that's where.
才不会发生这种事
That's not gonna happen.
绝对不会
It's not.
显然我们不了解洁德
Obviously, we don't know Jade.
所以没法判断她
So we can't judge her.
但我们了解伊莱
But we know Eli.
我们亲眼见过他让你受的苦
We saw what he put you through.
没错 我们经历过一段阴暗时期
Yes, we went through a dark time,
但那是两年前的事了
but that was two years ago.
"阴暗时期" 那家伙可是个瘾君子
"A dark time"? The man's a drug addict.
你们一半的积蓄都被他拿去买毒品了
Half your savings went up his nose.
那人根本没有自控能力
The man's incapable of self-control.
现在他床上还有另一个女人
And now he's got another woman in his bed?
你以为会发生什么
The hell did you think was gonna happen?
够了
Stop it!
我知道你们想激怒我
I know you're trying to bait me,
但没用的
but it's not gonna work.
我告诉你们 伊莱变了
I'm telling you, Eli has changed.
天真的妹妹 男人死性不改的
Oh, baby sister, men never change.
他们只是越来越会隐瞒
They just get better at keeping secrets.
有人吗
Hello?
我是杜博纳太太
It's Mrs. Dubner.
你不是说她要去法国吗
You said she was going to France.
是啊 我妈今早还送她去机场
Yeah, my mom took her to the airport this morning.
汤米 你在哪
Tommy, where are you?
你得躲起来
You have to hide!
把床铺好
Make the bed.
我没法同时做这两件事
I can't do both.
我知道你觉得我疑病症很严重
I know you think I'm a ridiculous hypochondriac,
但我是真的很疼
but the pain is real.
你会没事的
You'll be fine.
你只需回房躺下休息
You just need to lie down in your room.
杜博纳太太 你没赶上飞机吗
Mrs. Dubner. Did you miss your flight?
我偏头疼 我需要休息
I'm having a migraine. I need to rest.
不 你不能进去
No, uh... you can't go in there.
为什么
Why not?
我刚刚喷了东西
I, uh, just sprayed.
什么东西
Sprayed?
杀虫剂
Uh, insecticide.
你的榕树上有只白粉虱
Your, uh, your ficus had a white fly.
-我从没见过有什么白粉虱 -它们...
- I've never seen any white fly. - Yeah, well, they're...
它们个头很小的 瞧
they're pretty tiny... see?
天呐 快弄死它
Oh, my God. Kill it!
我不知道你这么快就回来了
See, I-I didn't know that you would be back so soon,
所以我用了很浓的杀虫剂
so I used a very strong insecticide.
你偏头疼还吸入那些臭气的话...
You inhale those fumes with a migraine and...
你说得对 我能闻到
You're right. I can smell it.
对 你最好待在楼下吧
Yeah, y-you better stay downstairs.
别傻站着 来扶她下楼
Don't just stand there, help her down.
你得赶紧去一趟药房
We need you to run to the pharmacy.
现在吗
Now?
我的药吃完了 这是我的处方
I'm out of medication. Here's my prescription.
我得去打开卧室的窗户
I should go open some windows in the bedroom.
散散臭味儿
To air it out.
快点
Oh, hurry.
乔伊斯很难受
Joyce is in agony.
乔伊斯不舒服 我得去药房
Joyce is sick. I have to go to the drugstore.
我要怎么离开这里
Well, how am I supposed to get out of here?
我不知道
I don't know.
-喂 -卡尔 是我 需要你帮个忙
- Hello? - Karl, it's me. I need your help.
大声点 我听不清
Speak up, I can hardly hear you.
我被困在乔伊斯·杜博纳家里
I'm trapped in Joyce Dubner's house.
老天 她是不是又叨逼她切阑尾那破事了
Oh, dear, is she telling her appendectomy story again?
她不知道我在这 娜奥米也不知道
She doesn't know I'm here, and neither does Naomi.
什么 娜奥米也在那里
Sorry, Naomi's there?
没错 我被困在楼上了
Yes, and I'm trapped upstairs.
楼上
Upstairs?
这是不是跟你没在发生的婚外情有关
Would this have anything to do with the affair you're not having?
现在不是说这个的时候
Now is not the time!
你语气好恶劣哦 我要挂电话了
Oh, what a nasty tone. I think I'm gonna hang up.
好吧 好吧 行
All right, all right, fine, fine.
我是在搞婚外情
I'm having an affair.
现在能不能拜托你过来
Now can you please come over here
引开她们注意 好让我溜出去
and create a distraction so I can get out?
这是当老公应该做的
What are husbands for?
伊莱
Eli?
伊莱
Hey, Eli.
醒醒 伊莱
Eli, hey.
你睡着了
You fell asleep.
-天呐 几点了 -凌晨4点
- Oh, my God, what time is it? - It's 4:00 in the morning.