我才42岁 而且我感觉很棒
I'm only 42, and I feel great.
我们能好好吃饭吗
Can we just eat dinner?
我在肉饼里加了西班牙椒
I put pimentos in the meat loaf.
这就是我对食谱做的改变
That's how I changed the recipe.
你是不是生我气了
Are you angry with me?
为什么这么说
Why would you say that?
首先 你在幻想我的死亡
You're fantasizing about my death, for starters.
我可不想你死
Oh, I don't wish you dead.
我只是好奇当不可避免的事发生时
I'm just wondering what will become of me
我会怎么样
when the inevitable happens.
不可避免的事
Inevitable?
我没工作
I don't have a job.
也没爱好
Or a hobby.
我所做的就是照顾好你
All I do is take care of you.
这样你才是个好妻子啊
That's what makes you a good wife.
但当你不在这里的时候
But when you're not here anymore,
我会是谁
who will I be?
我的寡妇
My widow?
仔细听好我的话
Listen to what I'm saying.
我需要更多的东西
I need something more.
比如什么
Like what?
我也不是很清楚
I don't know, exactly.
这个所谓"更多的东西"
This something more...
会让你不再给我做美味的晚餐吗
will it keep you from making me delicious dinners?
不会
No.
那我允许你做任何让你开心的事
Then you have my permission to do whatever makes you happy.
但你要清楚
But just so you know...
我暂时不打算离开
I intend on sticking around for a while.
好吧
Okay.
那是什么
What is it?
西班牙椒
Pimento.
抱歉
Sorry.
夫人 你想跟我们一起去医院吗
Ma'am, do you want to ride with us to the hospital?
是的 不过稍等我一会儿
Yes. But give me a moment.
玛格丽特
Margaret.
萨蒙妮 发生什么事了
Simone, what happened?
说起来够傻的
Oh, it was the silliest thing.
卡尔下楼梯时没踩稳摔倒了
Karl slipped coming down the stairs.
不必担心
Nothing to worry about.
他只是撞到了头
He just hit his head.
哈罗德 我好爱你这睡袍
Harold. I love the robe.
卡尔没事吧
Uh, so Karl's okay?
他没事 都回家去吧
He's fine. Go on home.
不用管我们
Don't mind us.
差不多可以走了 夫人
We're almost ready to go, ma'am.
稍等一下
Just be a moment.
旺达
Wanda.
你怎么会在这里
What are you doing here?
我听到了救护车的鸣笛声
I heard the sirens.
发生什么事了
What's going on?
没事
Uh, nothing.
卡尔下楼梯时不小心摔下来了
Karl just had a little fall coming down the stairs.
你确定不是你推的吗
You sure you didn't push him?
考虑到那种情况 就算是也不能怪你
I wouldn't blame you. Considering.
是你留下的那照片
You left that photo.
天呐
Oh, my God!
住手 快住手
Stop! Hey. Stop.
我要...
I will...
你个贱♥人
Bitch!
-你是疯了吗 -当然没有
- Have you lost your mind? - Of course not.
我只是喝醉了
I'm drunk.
我带了红酒来
I brought wine.
希拉 你不必这样的
Sheila, you didn't need to do that.
我想看你怎么样了
Well, I wanted to see how you were doing
但我总不能空手来吧
and I couldn't come empty-handed.
我去了那个餐厅 然后...
I went to that diner, and...
我看到罗伯吻那个女服务员
I saw Rob kiss the waitress.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
你坐好 我来倒酒
You sit and I'll pour.
我决定什么都不说
I've decided not to say anything.
如果我让罗伯对我有了戒心
If I put Rob on the defensive,
那会影响我们的婚姻
it will affect our marriage.
他这是在通奸啊
He's committing adultery.
那本就会影响你们的婚姻
That's supposed to affect your marriage.
我要更努力地做一个好妻子
I'm just going to work harder at being a good wife.
让罗伯再度想起他为何会爱我
To remind Rob why he loves me.
然后 希望...
And then, hopefully...
其实还有一个选择
There is another option.
什么选择
What's that?
直面那个姑娘
Confront the girl.
那个姑娘
The girl?
去她那个餐厅 大闹一场
Go to her diner and make a scene.
希拉 她或许都不知道罗伯已经结婚了
Sheila. She might not even know that Rob is married.
那些骚货向来都是知道的
Oh, those tramps always know.
你就威胁要告诉她老板 除非她跟罗伯断绝往来
Threaten to tell her boss unless she stops seeing Rob.
把她吓死
Scare her to death.
我猜这招可能会有用
I suppose that could work.
但我不知道要上哪里找这样的勇气
But I just don't know where I would find the courage.
就在这里
It's right here,
在这杯底
at the bottom of this glass.
这是你妻子的情人吗
This is your wife's lover?
是的
Yeah.
天呐
Damn.
她可真是尤物
Ooh, she got game!
听好了 这个叫洁德的女人
Oh, and get this: Jade?
简直有洁癖
Total neat freak.
过去的两天
Spent the last two days
像有强迫症一样把我们家清洁个彻底
compulsively cleaning our entire house.
她还会做饭 洗衣服
And she cooks and she does laundry.
她今早还给我的衬衣缝了颗扣子
She sewed this button on my shirt this morning.
所以她很喜欢做家庭主妇
So she's into some serious housewife shit.
我得跟你说
Oh, man, I got to tell you,
这让人上瘾
it's addictive.
有个女人这么伺候我
Like, having a woman wait on me like this?
唤醒了我内心深处的洞穴人
Bringing out my inner caveman.
洁德还喜欢什么
So, um, what else is Jade into?
-什么意思 -你懂我
- What do you mean? - Well, you know me.
我一听说一个女人喜欢为人服务
I hear about a sexy lady who lives to serve,
-我就忍不住遐想非非 -不不不
- my imagination runs wild. - No, no, no, no. No.
她是我老婆的情人 不是我的
She's my wife's lover, not mine.
此刻我想说英语中
Well, I would now like to say the two most beautiful words
最美的两个词
in the English language:
三P
three-way.
严格来说这是一个词
Technically, that's one word.
少给我来连字号那套
Don't hit me with that hyphen bullshit.
我是想让你滚床单 傻蛋
I'm trying to get you laid, bitch.
好吧 我和泰勒 我们从没"三人行"过
All right. Taylor and I, we've never done that before.
这种事又不需要训练
You don't need to train for it.
这是做♥爱 不是跳冰舞
It's sex, not ice dancing.
你已经是开放式婚姻了 这有什么大不了的
You already got an open marriage. What's the big deal?
首先 我不确定洁德有这么喜欢我
Well, to begin with, I don't know that Jade's that into me.
她给你缝了一个扣子
She sewed a button on for you.
这是白人姑娘表达"上我"的方式
That's how white girls say "fuck me."
你疯了
You're crazy.
我清楚得很
Look, I know what I know.
你好 我是艾普尔
Hi. I'm April.
今早我将为你服务
I'll be your waitress this morning.
要先来一杯咖啡吗
Can I get you some coffee to start?
夫人
Ma'am?
你还好吗
Are you okay?
抱歉
I'm sorry.
给
Here.