Howard, could I borrow some aftershave?
黑色的包里 上面那层
Black case, top compartment.
这么多古龙水
That's a lot of cologne.
第一排是你要的麝香型
First row are your musks. Second is woods,
第二排是木头 皮革和植物味
leathers and botanicals.
第三排是配套的外激素 慎用
Third is assorted pheromones. Tread lightly.
霍华德 精神可嘉
That's the spirit, Howard.
我们能行
Yes, we can.
我们走吧
Come on. Let's go.
你们先去 我还有封邮件要回
You guys go ahead. I just have to finish up an email.
才不是邮件呢 你在看莱斯利的FACEBOOK主页
That's not an email. That's Leslie's Facebook page.
好吧
Okay, fine.
我是在看她的主页
I'm checking her Facebook page.
你看她的状态更新了 她说她把我甩了
Look at her status update. She's saying she dumped me.
大家需要知道是我甩了她
People need to know I dumped her.
事实是她甩你啊
But she did dump you.
拉杰 醒醒吧 互联网上无事实
Grow up, Raj. There's no place for truth on the Internet.
你们先去吧 我等下就去找你们
Just go. I'll catch up with you.
好吧
All right.
我们该计划一下 万一我们走桃花运呢
Oh, we should have a plan in case one of us gets lucky.
如果我走运了 我就带她
Okay, uh, if I get lucky, I'll take her
去我在哥谭城外的古堡[蝙蝠侠居住的城市]
to my stately manner outside Gotham City, and...
如果你走运了 我就去月亮上睡
if you get lucky, I'll sleep on the moon.
计划不错
Sounds like a plan.
等着 我记得备用钥匙就放在这附近
Hang on. I think the emergency key is around here somewhere.
我们有个碗
We have a bowl.
钥匙都放那个碗里
Our keys go in a bowl.
你应该弄个碗
You should get a bowl.
那么请问美丽心灵的谢尔顿·库珀
So, how did the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper
是怎么忘带钥匙的
forget his key in the first place?
我把它们落在碗里了
I left them in the bowl.
我想起来备用钥匙在哪了
I just remembered where the emergency key is.
-在哪 -在你们家
- Where? - In your apartment.
怎么在我们家
What's it doing in my apartment?
我几周前去过
Well, I went in there a few weeks ago,
你们不在家 被我落在那了
and you guys weren't home and I forgot it there.
你进了我...为什么
You went in my... Why would...
你说什么呢
What are you saying?
没什么大不了的
It's not a big deal. I was making
我泡咖啡的时候没牛奶了
coffee and I ran out of milk.
你就是那个偷奶贼啊
You're the milk thief!
莱纳德说我疯了 但我知道牛奶盒是轻了一些
Leonard said I was crazy, but I knew that carton felt lighter.
好啦 谢尔顿 淡定
All right. Sheldon, look. Just calm down.
我给公寓管理员打电话 叫他来开门
I will call the building manager and he'll come open your door.
你可以一边等 一边吃饭
You just eat your dinner here while you're waiting.
吃? 我的晚饭? 在你家?
Eat? My dinner? In your apartment?
是啊 怎么了
Yeah. Why not?
是啊 怎么了
Sure. Why not?
日落之后 我们再坐着我的小皮卡
And after the sun's down, we can all pile in my pickup
去小溪边裸泳多好
and go skinny-dipping down at the crick.
因为今天是失去理智的日子
Cause today is the day to stop making sense.
谢谢
Thanks.
告诉你 莱纳德 老虎机
I'm telling you, Leonard... video slots...
大胸吧台妹端来的免♥费饮料
free drinks brought to us by a bosomy barmaid
只要三块九毛五的鲜虾自助
and all you can eat shrimp for $3.95.
迪斯尼一边去吧
Disneyland can suck it.
这里真是人间仙境
This is the real happiest place on earth.
哥们快看
Dude, check it out!
还有整月的洗衣钱
That's laundry for a month!
你好
Hello.
你叫什么
What's your name?
拉杰·罗摩衍那·库萨帕里
Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali.
你好 拉杰拉杰·罗...
Hello, Rajesh Ra--
嗨 拉杰
Hi, Rajesh.
我是迈克拉
I'm Michaela.
你好 迈克拉
Hello, Michaela.
你想来个小小的聚会么
So, you interested in a little party?
好啊 我喜欢聚会
Why, yes, I love to party.
聚会是我的中间名
Party is my middle name.
如果不是罗摩衍那的话
Or, it would be if it weren't Ramayan.
拉杰 我能和你说句话么
Uh, Raj, can I... can I talk to you for a moment?
莱纳德 现在不行
Not now, Leonard.
迈克拉邀请我去聚会呢
Michaela's inviting me to a party.
你最好给月亮打个电话
You better call the moon
确认一下他们有没有给你备床
and make sure they have a bed for you.
拜托 我真的有话要跟你说
Yeah. I really need to talk to you.
抱歉 我马上回来
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
不要乱跑哦
Don't go anywhere.
最好连动都不要动 保持造型哦
Don't move. Just stay the beautiful,
你就像一朵未经采摘 娇艳欲滴的美式鲜花
unspoiled American flower that you are.
伙计 你发什么神经啊
What's wrong with you, dude?
那个女人已经深深地被我的雄性激素吸引了
That woman was all up in my jammy.
好吧 我真的不想打击 你所谓的"雄性激素"
Okay. I hate to break this to you and whatever your "jammy" is,
但我可以肯定她只是个娼妓
but I'm pretty sure she's a prostitute.
什么
What?
不能吧
No...
那我换个方式解释吧
Let me put it this way:
在你的一生中 能有几个超级美女
In your entire life, how many gorgeous women
会一进酒吧就过来跟你搭讪
have walked straight up to you in a bar
还问你要不要去参加派对?
and asked if you wanted to party?
或许我可以感化她
Maybe I can save her.
或许吧 但我猜你可能会为此 付出每小时500美元的代价
Maybe, but I'm guessing it'll cost you about $500 an hour to try.
很高兴认识你 祝你的未来更加灿烂美好
It was lovely meeting you. Best of luck in your future endeavors.
随你便
Whatever.
天啊 我已经开始想她了
Oh, I miss her already.
看来霍华德不行了
Oh, Howard's losing it.
他在博客上最新的留言写着
Check out his latest Twitters.
我正处于黑洞的最底端 凝视着绝望的深渊
"I'm at the bottom of a black hole "staring into the abyss.
我的生活毫无意义 我的未来一片茫然
My life is meaningless. My future is without hope."
要不带他去看蓝人乐队吧
Why don't we take him to see the Blue Man Group?
你觉得会有用吗
You think that'd help?
"今日美国"称他们为"老少咸宜爆笑组合"
USA Today calls them "exuberant fun for the whole family."
我不知道 霍华德不是那种 通吃老少咸宜乐趣的人
I don't know. Howard isn't really the family fun kind of guy.
真可惜他没在这 见不到那个妓♥女
It's too bad he wasn't here for that hooker.
她绝对是他喜欢的类型 标准的妓♥女
She's exactly his type; a hooker.
如果给钱请她帮忙 霍华德一定能振作起来
You know, I bet if we hired her, that would cheer him up.
我坚决不同意让妓♥女去安抚沃罗威茨
We're not gonna get Wolowitz a hooker.
我是如此孤独 熊熊的欲♥火燃烧着我
"I'm so lonely and horny,
我随时会开一瓶20美元的花生酱 然后全部干掉
I may open this $20 jar of peanuts and end it all."
让她报个价 应该不会被打吧
I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get an estimate.
你今天过得好吗
So how was your day?
你想跟我聊家常吗
Are you trying to make small talk?
亲爱的 你真的不必这么做
Oh, sweetie, you really don't have to.
错 这是个惯有的习俗
No, it's the accepted convention.
你今天过得好吗
How was your day?
他们把餐厅的值班表全都打乱了
Well, uh, they shifted my schedule around at the restaurant,
所以我的时间会跟平时有点不一样
so my hours are gonna be a little differe...
抱歉 我对此一点都不感兴趣 快吃吧
I'm sorry. That's not going to interest me at all. Just eat.
你好啊 小姐
Hello again.
你们好啊
Oh, hi.
你好 如果您不忙的话
Yeah, hi. Listen, um... if you're not busy,
我们想知道你是否...
we were thinking maybe you could...
我们其实是想问...
We were wondering...
你到底是不是娼妓
...if you're really a prostitute.
你们是警察吗
You guys cops?
当然不是
No.
那好 我是娼妓
I'm a prostitute.
太好了
Okay, great.
事情是这样的 我们有个朋友
Uh, the thing is, we've got this friend,
他被甩了 很沮丧
and he's kind of down in the dumps.
我们觉得你可以让他振作起来