You guys,um,make yourselves comfortable.
People get it.
By Odin's beard,this is good Chex mix.
I can't afford to swell up in these tights.
If there's no costume parade,what are we doing here?
We're socializing,meeting new people.
Oh,hey,when did you get here?
Penny is wearing the worst Catwoman costume I've ever seen.
And that includes Halle Berry's.
She's not Catwoman. She's just a generic cat.
And that's the kind of sloppy costuming
which results from a lack of rules and competion.
Hey,guys,check out the sexy nurse.
I believe it's time for me to turn my head and cough.
What is your move?
I'm going to use the mirror technique.
She brushes her hair back,I brush my hair back...
She shrugs,I shrug.
她下意识里就会觉得 我们心有灵犀 注定是一对
Subconsciously she's thinking,"We're in sync. We belong together."
Where do you get this stuff?
You know,psychology journals,Internet research,
and there's this great show on VH-1 about how to pick up girls.
Oh,if only I had his confidence.
I have such difficulty speaking to women,or around women...
or at times even effeminate men.
If that's a working stethoscope,
maybe you'd like to hear my heart skip a beat?
No,seriously,you can.I have transient idiopathic arrhythmia.
I want to get to know Penny's friends,
I just don't know how to talk to these people.
Well,I actually might be able to help.
就像Jane Goodall观察黑猩猩一样 (英国科学家 以对黑猩猩的研究闻名世界)
Like Jane Goodall observing the apes,
I initially saw their interactions as confusing and unstructured.
But patterns emerge.
They have their own language,if you will.
Well,it seems that the newcomer approaches the existing group with the greeting,
"How wasted am I?"
Which is met with an approving chorus of "Dude."
Then what happens?
That's as far as I've gotten.
This is ridiculous.
I'm jumping in.
No,you're coming with me.
Oh,I hardly think so.
Aren't you afraid I'll embarrass you?
怕 可我需要一个副手 (wingman:原意指护航的飞机)
Yes; but I need a wing man.
All right,but if we're going to use flight metaphors,
I'm much more suited to being the guy
from the FAA analyzing wreckage.
- 嗨 - 你好
So what are you supposed to be?
Me? I'll give you a hint.
A choo-choo train?
A brain damaged choo-choo train?
How wasted am I?
I still don't get it.
I'm the Doppler effect.
Okay,if that's some sort of learning disability,
I think it's very insensitive.
Why don't you just tell people you're a zebra?
Well,why don't you just tell people you're one of the seven dwarves?
Because I'm Frodo.
Yes,well,I'm the Doppler effect.
- 不会吧 - 怎么了?
That's Penny's ex-boyfriend.
What do you suppose he's doing here?
Besides disrupting the local gravity field.
If he were any bigger,he'd have moons orbiting him.
So,I guess we'll be leaving now.
Why should we leave?
For all we know he crashed the party and Penny doesn't even want him here.
You have a backup hypothesis?
Maybe they want to be friends.
Or maybe she wants to be friends and he wants something more.
Then he and I are on equal ground.
Yes,but you're much closer to it than he is.
Look,if this was 1,500 years ago,
by virtue of his size and strength,
Kurt would be entitled to his choice of female partners.
And male partners,animal partners,
large primordial eggplants--
pretty much whatever tickled his fancy.
Yes,but our society has undergone a paradigm shift.
In the Information Age,Sheldon,
you and I are the alpha males.
We shouldn't have to back down.
Why don't you text him that and see if he backs down?
I'm going to assert my dominance face-to-face.
Face-to-face? Are you going to wait for him to sit down,
or are you going to stand on the coffee table?
Oh,hey,guys,are you having a good time?
Given the reaction to my costume,
this party is a scathing indictment of the American education system.
What,you're a zebra,right?
Yet another child left behind.
And what are you supposed to be,an elf?
No,I'm a hobbit.
What's the difference?
A hobbit is a mortal halfling inhabitant of Middle Earth,
whereas an elf is an immortal,tall warrior.
So why the hell would you want to be a hobbit?
Because he's neither tall nor immortal
and none of us could be The Flash.
Why don't you go hop off on a quest?
I'm talking to Penny here.
I think we're all talking to Penny here.
I'm not. No offense.
Okay,maybe you didn't hear me.
- 滚蛋 - 好啦 Kurt 有礼貌点
-Go away. -All right,Kurt,be nice.
Oh,I am being nice.