I need some guinea pigs.
Okay,there's a lab animal supply company in reseda you could try.
But if your research is going to have human applications,
may I suggest white mice instead?
Their brain chemistry is far closer to ours.
我向上帝发誓 Sheldon 总有一天
I swear to god,sheldon,one day,
I'm going to get the hang of talking to you.
His mom's been saying that for years.
Well,I finally convinced the restaurant to give me a bartending shift,
so I need to practice mixing drinks.
Well,the key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition.
With certain obvious exceptions.
比如说 自杀suicide,for example.
So,leonard,how about it?
你知道 Penny 我们很乐意帮助你
You know,penny,we'd love to help you,
but raj is going through some stuff right now,
and besides,he doesn't drink,so...
Um,raj is going through some stuff right now and he'd like to take up drinking.
好了 给你 Leonard
Okay,here you go,leonard.
One tequila sunrise.
You know,this drink is a wonderful example of
how liquids with different specific gravities interact in a cylindrical container.
好吧 Raj 你要什么?
Okay,raj,what'll it be?
Whatever you recommend.
Uh,how about a grasshopper?
I make a mean grasshopper.
Okay? Good.Coming up.
Sheldon,what are you going to have?
I'll have a diet coke.
Okay,can you please order a cocktail?
I need to practice mixing drinks.
我要圣洁古巴利布瑞酒 (由新鲜酸橙 可乐调制)
I'll have a virgin cuba libre.
That's,um,rum and coke without the rum.
- 那么...可乐 - 是的
- So...coke. - Yes.
And would you make it diet?
There's a can in the fridge.
A cuba libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Then swim to cuba.
Bartenders are supposed to have people skills.
Raj,here you go.
All right. Who's next?
I'd like to try a slippery nipple.
Okay,you're cut off.
Anybody need a refill?
Where did my life go,penny?
One day I'm a carefree bachelor,
转眼我就结婚了 载着一车小孩 去新德里郊外打板球比赛
and the next I'm married and driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches in suburban new delhi.
Are you talking to me?
Is there another penny here?
I had such plans.
I had dreams.
I was going to be the indira gandhi of particle astrophysics.
But with a penis,of course.
Ever since I was a little boy,
my father wanted me to be a gynecologist like him.
How can I be a gynecologist?
I can barely look a woman in the eye!
You know what?
I'm not going to let my parents control my future any longer.
It's time for a showdown.
Somebody give me a computer with a webcam!
Okay,sweetie,I think that's the grasshopper talking.
And it's about to tell my parents that
I'm not riding an elephant down the aisle with lalita gupta.
Look,no one can make you get married.
Why don't you just meet this girl and see what happens?
Haven't you been listening to me?
I cannot talk to women.
no,no,let's see how long it takes him.
Raj 亲爱的 你说你不能跟女人说话
Um,raj,honey,you say you can't talk to women,
but you've been talking to me.
And now we'll never know.
You're right. I...
I am talking to you.
你好 Penny 怎么样?
Hello,penny,how are you?
Okay,now I just need to make sure I have a lalita before I meet the grasshopper.
It's a sweet,green miracle.
Okay,if you're going to drink on this date,
just promise me you won't overdo it.
This warm glow inside of me that promises everything's going to be all hunky-dunky?
Why don't you bring her to my restaurant
while I'm tending the bar so I can keep an eye on you.
Wait a minute. What's the plan here?
让他俩见面 他喜欢她 娶她
Let's say he meets her,he likes her,they get married.
What's he going to do,stay drunk for the rest of his life?
Worked for my parents.
I can't believe I'm sitting here next to little lalita gupta.
That's fd of kinun to say.
小Lalita 小Lalita 小Lalita
Little lalita,little lalita,little lalita.
You should try it.
You have lost so much weight.
That must have been difficult for you because you were so,so fat.
Do you remember?
Of course you do.
Who could forget being that fat?
Well,I've been trying.
So you're a dental student.
Mm,are you aware that dentists have an extremely high suicide rate?
Not as high as,say,air traffic controllers,but,then,
there are far mo dreentists than air traffic controllers,
so in pure numbers,you're still winning.
Do you have a drink that will make him less obnoxious?
Drinks do not work that way.
I'd say he's doing fine. Look at her.
上次我妈给我安排的相亲对像 不但有胡子 还有残留的尾巴
The last girl my mom set me up with had a mustache and a vestigial tail.
Sorry I'm late.
Nothing. I just really didn't want to come.