谢尔顿 我们得去参加这个
Sheldon, we have to do this.
不 我们不
No, we don't.
我们得吸取营养 排除毒素
We have to take in nourishment, expel waste,
并且吸入足够的氧气来维持我们细胞鲜活
And inhale enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying.
其它任何事都不是必须的
Everything else is optional.
好 那我这么说吧 我要去参加
Okay, let me put it this way, I'm doing it.
你不能 我是第一作者
You can't. I'm the lead author.
别逗了 之所以你是第一作者
Come on, the only reason you're the lead author
是因为这是按名字字母排序的
Is because we went alphabetically.
是我让你这么认为的
I let you think we went alphabetically
好让你不用面对这一耻辱性的事实
To spare you the humiliation
那就是这篇论文是我想出来的
Of dealing with the fact that it was my idea.
不是我有意要说得那么直白
Not to put too fine a point on it,
但事实是 我在可怜你
But I was throwing you a bone.
不用谢
You're welcome.
慢着 这个假说的实验证明是我设计的
Excuse me, I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis.
它根本就不用证明
It doesn't need proving.
这么说 整个学术界就会那么
So the entire scientific community
不加任何质疑地相信你的话?
Is just supposed to take your word?
不是会 是他们应该那样
They're not supposed to, but they should.
算了 我不管你说什么
All right, I don't care what you say,
我要去参加会议并展示我们的成果
I'm going to the conference and I'm presenting our findings.
我不允许
And I forbid it.
你不允许?
You forbid it?
如果我没有因为我们的成果而得到好评 那没人可以
If I'm not taking credit for our work, then nobody is.
-这么说你承认这是我们俩的成果? -没有
So you admit that it's our work? no.
再说一遍 我是在可怜你
Once again, I'm throwing you a bone.
并且再说一遍 不用谢
And once again you are welcome.
不 他不会吧(模仿里奥纳德)
Oh, no, he didn't
你和谢尔顿现在怎样了
So, how's it going with sheldon?
你们还是谁也不理谁吗
Are you guys still not talking to each other?
他不但还是不跟我说话
Not only is he still not talking to me,
还会这么瞪着你 并做这么个动作
But there's this thing he does where he stares at you
试图把你的脑子弄爆
And tries to get your brain to explode.
就像那种经典的高科技电影里的扫描器
You know, like in the classic sci-fi movie scanners.
这样...
Like... bzzz...
不说了
Never mind.
这件怎么样?
How about this one?
可以告诉别人说 我是物理学家 但我也是个有趣的人
It says, I know my physics, but I'm still a fun guy.
我不知道现在还有做灯芯绒外套
Wow, I didn't know they still made corduroy suits.
是不做了 所以我才一直留着它
They don't.That's why I saved this one.
好吧 让我再看看
Okay, well, let's just see
你还有什么别的
What else you have.
拿着这个...
Okay, here, take this...
和这个 这个 还有这些...
And this, and this, and these...
所有这些你都要让我试穿?
Is this all stuff you want me to try on?
不 这些是我想让你扔了的
No, this is stuff I want you to throw out.
说真的 甚至不要把它们捐作慈善
Oh. seriously, don't even give them to charity.
你这不是在帮助任何人
You won't be helping anyone.
这是什么?
What's this?
这是坎多(对抗魔人的守卫国度)的瓶中城
That's the bottle city of kandor.
知道吗 坎多曾经是
You see, kandor was the capital city
克里顿星球(还是星球大战)的首都
Of the planet krypton.
它被天才在克里顿爆炸前缩小了
It was miniaturized by brainiac before krypton exploded,
然后被超人拯救了
And then rescued by superman.
不错
Oh. nice.
还是女孩子不看这些的时候比较好
It's a lot cooler when girls aren't looking at it.
你穿上这个试试
Here, why don't you put these on
我再看看有没有合适的T恤和运动外衣
While I find a shirt and a sport coat that match.
好 我马上回来
Great, I'll be right back.
你去哪里? 就这样换了
Where are you going? just put 'em on.
在这?
Here?
你还害羞啊?
Oh, are you shy?
没 我没害羞
No, I'm not shy.
别担心 我不会看的
Don't worry. I won't look.
我知道你不会看 你为什么要看
I know you won't look. why would you look?
这也没什么好看的...倒也不是...
There's nothing to see... well, not nothing...
亲爱的 把裤子穿上
Sweetie, put the pants on.
穿了穿了
Putting 'em on.
你跟谢尔顿在演讲这件事情上
So, you know, isn't there maybe some way
就没有互相妥协的余地吗
You and sheldon could compromise on this whole presentation thing?
不 没有
No, no.
科学家从不妥协
Scientists do not compromise.
我们的大脑被锻炼成就是把事实结合起来
Our minds are trained to synthesize facts
然后得出无可辩驳的结论
And come to inarguable conclusions.
更不用说 谢尔顿还是个怪胎
Not to mention, sheldon is bat-crap crazy.
这是什么?
What is this?
小心
Oh, careful.
那个是原版
That's my original series
太空堡垒卡拉狄加的飞行服
Battlestar galactica flight suit.
万圣节的时候你怎么没穿这个?
Oh, why didn't you wear it on halloween?
因为那不是制服 是件飞行服
Because it's not a costume. it's a flight suit.
好的 我继续找
Okay, all right, moving on.
羊毛针织花衬衫
Oh, wow, a paisley shirt.
它正好配我那件灯芯绒外套
Uh-huh, it goes with my corduroy suit.
如果你是说他们得呆在一个地方 那我同意
If you mean they should end up in the same place, then I agree.
这是你唯一的领带吗
Is this your only tie?
理论上 是的
Technically, yes.
但如果你仔细看
But if you'll notice...
会发现这是两面的
It's reversible.
所以可以当两条用
So it works as two.
亲爱的 我觉得它连一条都不算
Oh sweetie, I don't even think it works as one.
这就是你所有的衣服吗
Is this all your clothes?
对 从我八年级到现在所有的
Yup. everything since the eighth grade.
八...八年级?
The... the eighth grade?
我从那时起就不再长了
My last growth spurt.
那好 我想我们还是回到这套灯芯绒外套吧
Okay, well, I guess we're back to the corduroy suit.
好的
Great. yep.
我说了不行 扔一边去
I said no. put it down.
好啊 谢尔顿
Hey, sheldon.
你好 潘妮
Hello, penny.
有什么好东西吗
Get anything good?
最近一季度的应用粒子物理学报
Just the latest copy of applied particle physics quarterly.
真奇怪 怎么你的来了我的却没到
Oh, you know, that is so weird that yours came and mine didn't.
我开玩笑呢
It was a joke.
给女服务生点小费
Yep, tip your waitresses.
我这一周都在
I'm here all week.
潘妮 为了避免你感觉更加尴尬
Penny, just to save you from further awkwardness,
如果我们两个安安静静地走上楼
Know that I'm perfectly comfortable with the two of us
我完全没有意见
Climbing the stairs in silence.
是的 我也是
Oh, yeah, okay, me, too.
嘴巴拉上 闭紧
Zip it, lock it.
放在兜里
Put it in your pocket.
你和里奥纳德
So, you and leonard.
天呐
Oh, dear god.
有点小误会 是吧
A little misunderstanding, huh?
有点小误...?
A little misundersta...?
伽利略和教皇之间是有点小误会
Galileo and the pope had a little misunderstanding.
不管怎样 我今天早上跟里奥纳德聊天
Anyway, I was talking to leonard this morning,
我认为他对于这事感到很难过
And I think he feels really bad about it.
你是什么感受
Well, how do you feel?
你没理解你这个问题
I don't understand the question.
不 我是问和最好的朋友发生争执
No, I'm just asking if it's difficult
是不是感觉很难受
To be fighting with your best friend.
我还没那么想过
Oh, I hadn't thought about it like that.
我在想我是否正在经受
I wonder if I've been experiencing
由于无意识感情上混乱
Physiological manifestations
而导致的一些生理表现
of some sort of unconscious emotional turmoil.
等等 什么?
Wait. what?
我今天早上拉不出屎
I couldn't poop this morning.