生活大爆炸 第一季第一集part3
The Big Bang Theory S01E01.
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2019年9月11日 06:25
我才不跟你讨论什么假设
I'm not going to engage in hypotheticals here.
我只想当个好邻居
I'm just trying to be a good neighbor.
是啊
Of course.
那也不是说如果有机会可以发展肉体关系
That's not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develop,
我会袖手旁观
That I wouldn't participate.
大致是这样
However briefly.
当她发现你的卢克·天行者(星球大战人物)无泪洗发水
Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered
你说这种可能性是会变大了呢还是变小了
When she discovers your luke skywalker no-more-tears shampoo?
那是达斯·维德(另一星战人物)牌洗发水
It's darth vader shampoo.
卢克·天行者是护发素
Luke skywalker's the conditioner.
-先看这个 -太强了 难以置信
-wait till you see this. -it's fantastic,unbelievable.
看什么?
See what?
1974年 史蒂芬霍金在麻省理工的演讲
It's a stephen hawking lecture from mit in 1974.
现在不是时候
This isn't a good time.
那时他还不是这样毛骨悚然的电脑音
It's before he became a creepy computer voice.
-不错 可你们现在必须得走 -为什么
-that's great. you guys have to go. -why?
现在不是时候
It's just not a good time.
里奥纳德有女士来访
Leonard has a lady over.
是的 我明白了...你祖母又回城来了?
Yeah,right... your grandmother back in town?
不是 她不是什么女士 她是新来的邻居
No. And she's not a lady. she's just a new neighbor.
等等 这里真的有位女士?
Hang on,there really is a lady here?
你赶我们走是为了想要和她交媾?
And you want us out because you're anticipating coitus?
我没有想要和她交媾
I'm not anticipating coitus.
那就是说别人现在可以和她交媾?
So she's available for coitus?
我们可不可以不要说"交媾"这个词了
Can we please just stop saying "coitus"?
更精确的说法应该是"体外射♥精"
Technically,that would be"coitus interruptus. "
是不是应该有个旋关把水从浴缸那里弄到淋浴器上
Hey,is there a trick to getting it to switch from tub to shower...?
不好意思 大家好
Hi. sorry. hello.
很高兴认识您 女士
Enchant? mademoiselle.
我是霍华德·沃尔维茨 加州工学院应用物理系学生
Howard wolowitz,caltech department of applied physics.
我的一些研究成果你可能已经很熟悉了
You may be familiar with some of my work.
它正在围绕着木星的最大卫星轨道运行
It's currently orbiting jupiter's largest moon
拍摄高分辨率的数码照片
Taking high-resolution digital photographs.
我是潘妮 我在乳酪蛋糕店工作
Penny. I work at the cheesecake factory.
我带你去弄那旋关吧
I'll show you the trick with the shower.
"Bonne douche"
Bonne douche.
你说什么?
I'm sorry?
是法语里"洗个痛快澡"的意思
It's french for "good shower. "
是一句祝词 我能用六种语言来说
It's a sentiment I can express in six languages.
还是留着博客上说吧 霍华德
Save it for your blog,howard.
洗个痛快澡
好了 没问题了 是卡住了 不好意思
All right,there it goes. it sticks. I'm sorry.
-好的 谢谢 -不用谢
-okay,thanks. -you're welcome.
你只要站在... 好吧 我...
You're just gonna to step right... okay,I'll...
-等等 里奥纳德 -洗头的那些东西都是谢尔顿的
-hey,leonard? -the hair products are sheldon's.
我能让你帮个忙吗
Can I ask you a favor?
帮个忙?
A favor?
当然 你可以让我帮你忙 我可以帮你个忙
Sure,you can ask me a favor. I would do you a favor for you.
你如果不愿意也没关系
It's okay if you say no.
我应该会愿意的
I'll probably say yes.
一般你刚认识某个人 不会请求一件这样的事
It's just not the kind of thing you ask a guy you just met.
我真的觉得我们该好好想想这里面的因果关系了
I really think we should examine the chain of causality here.
-有必要吗 -事件一
-must we? -event a...
我们那淋浴器下站着个裸体美女
A beautiful woman stands naked in our shower.
事件二 我们开车穿过半个城市到上述那位女性的
Event b... we drive halfway across town to retrieve a television set
前男友住处取回一台电视机
From the aforementioned woman's ex-boyfriend.
提问 在哪个层面上
Query... on what plane of existence
这两个事件哪怕是有半点合理的联♥系
Is there even a semi-rational link between these events?
她请求我帮她个忙 谢尔顿
She asked me to do her a favor,sheldon.
是啊 这可能是我们这趟旅途最近似的原因了
Yes,well,that may be the proximal cause of our journey,
但其只存在于更高层次原因的对比之下
But we both know it only exists in contradistinction
这点我们都清楚
To the higher level distal cause.
-是什么 -你在用下半身在思考
-which is? -you think with your penis.
从生理上说这是不可能的 还有 你可以不用跟来啊
That's a biological impossibility. and you didn't have to come.
不错 我可以留在那儿看着沃尔维茨勾引潘妮
Right,I could have stayed behind and watch wolowitz try to hit on penny
用俄语 阿♥拉♥伯语 波斯语
In russian,arabic and farsi.
为什么她自己不去取回电视机
Why can't she get her own tv?
得了 你知道分手是怎么回事
Come on,you know how it is with breakups.
我不知道... 你也不知道
No,I don't... and neither do you.
我以前跟乔伊斯·金分手过
I broke up with joyce kim.
你没有和乔伊斯·金分手 是她投奔回朝鲜了
You did not break up with joyce kim. she defected to north korea.
去缝补她破碎的心啊
To mend her broken heart.
现在这情况远没那么复杂
This situation is much less complicated.
就谁该得到这台电视的拥有权
There's some kind of dispute between penny and her ex-boyfriend
潘妮和她前男友有过争吵
As to who gets custody of the tv.
她只是不想和他再大吵大闹
She just wanted to avoid having a scene with him.
-所以我们去和他大吵大闹 -不 我们不用和他去吵的
-so we get to have a scene with him? -no,there's not going to be a scene.
我们两个人 他才一个
There's two of us and one of him.
里奥纳德 我们两个甚至搬不动一台电视
Leonard,the two of us can't even carry a tv.
这么说 你们和里奥纳德还有谢尔顿一起在大学里共事?
So,you guys work with leonard and sheldon at the university?
抱歉 你会说英语吗
I'm sorry,do you speak english?
他会说英语 他只是不会同女人说话
He speaks english. he just can't speak to women.
真的? 为什么?
Really? why?
他是个怪才吧
He's kind of a nerd.
喝果汁?
Juice box?
我来说话
I'll do the talking.
-谁? -你好 我是里奥纳德 这是谢尔顿
-yeah? -hi,I'm leonard,this is sheldon.
-你好 -我刚说...
-hello. -what did I just--
-我们是来拿潘妮的电视机的 -你们走吧
-we're here to pick up penny's tv. -get lost.
好的 抱歉打扰了
Okay,thanks for you time.
我们不能就这样放弃了
We're not going to give up just like that.
里奥纳德 电视机在楼上
Leonard,the tv's in the building.
我们已经被阻止进入大楼了 因此 我们没戏了
We've been denied access to the building,ergo,we are done.
我很抱歉 如果我当初遇到点小麻烦就放弃的话
Excuse me. if I were to give up on the first little hitch,
我永远也不会在宇宙大爆炸之后
I never would have identified the fingerprints of string theory
成功验证弦理论了
In the aftermath of the big bang.
我道歉 你准备怎么做?
My apologies. what's your plan?
能目睹你动脑 实在很荣幸
It's just a privilege to watch your mind at work.
不会吧 我们的智商加起来有360呢
Come on,we have a combined iq of 360.
我们应该有办法想出如何进那该死的楼
We should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid building.
你认为她们的智商加起来有多少?
What do you think their combined iq is?
快把门抵住
Just grab the door!
就这里了
This is it.
我来说话
I'll do the talking.
想得不错 我来当打手
Good thinking. I'll just be the muscle.
什么事
Yeah?
我是里奥纳德 这是谢尔顿
I'm leonard,this is sheldon.
刚对讲机里的
From the intercom.
你们到底是怎么进来的?
How the hell did you get in the building?
我们是科学家
We're scientists.
告诉他我们的智商
Tell him about our iq.
-里奥纳德 -怎么?
-leonard... -what?
-那裤子是我妈买给我的 -对不起
-my mom bought me those pants. -i'm sorry.
你得打电话跟她说一下
You're going to have to call her.
谢尔顿 拖你下水了 真的很抱歉
Sheldon,I am so sorry I dragged you through this.
没关系 这不是我的第一条裤子 也不会是最后一条
It's okay. it wasn't my first pantsing and it won't be my last.
关于我的动机你说得没错
And you were right about my motives.
我是指望和潘妮能建立关系
I was hoping to establish a relationship with penny
或许有一天可以和她上床
That might have someday led to sex.
你倒是脱下了我的裤子
Well,you got me out of my pants.
好了 反正我买到教训了
Anyway,I've learned my lesson.
她和我不是一类人 我跟她玩完了
She's out of my league,I'm done with her.
我有工作要干 有一天我会赢得诺贝尔奖
Got my work,one day I'll win the nobel prize
然后孤单地死去
And then I'll die alone.
不要这么想 你不会孤单地死去的
Don't think like that. you're not going to die alone.
谢谢 谢尔顿 你真是好朋友
Thank you,sheldon. you're a good friend.
而且你肯定不会拿诺贝尔奖的
And you're certainly not going to win a nobel prize.
这是我搜寻猎物后最喜欢的交付地之一
This is one of my favorite places to kick back after a quest.
这里的麦酒太棒了
They have a great house ale.
好酷的老虎
Cool tiger.
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