Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
My brother-- he's got a big crush on Bernadette.
You're moving back to India?
What's going on?
It's-It's not what it looks like.
What does it look like?
It's not what it looks like.
It's not what it looks like.
What are you grinding about?
Penny's brain teaser this morning.
She and Koothrappali emerge from your bedroom.
She is disheveled,and Raj is dressed only in a sheet.
The sole clue: "It's not what it looks like."
Just let it go,Sheldon.
我能的话就好了 但我不能 所以不行
If I could,I would,but I can't,so I shan't.
Now,knowing Penny,the obvious answer is,they engaged in coitus.
但... 因为"不是看起来的那样" 那情况可以排除
But... since that's what it looked like,we can rule that out.
Let's put on our thinking cap,shall we?
Raj is from India,a tropical country.
Third World hygiene.
Parasitic infections are common,such as pinworms.
The procedure for diagnosing pinworms is to wait until the subject is asleep,
and the worms crawl out of the rectum for air.
Yes,just like that.
Penny could have been inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites.
That's a true blue friend.
They slept together,Sherlock.
No,you weren't listening.
She said it's not what it looks like.
Don't I look silly sitting here wearing this?
Leonard 看到你的一个好朋友 和你曾经深爱的女孩
Leonard,is it awkward for you knowing that one of your dear friends had sexual intercourse
with a woman you used to love in the very place you lay your head?
No,I'm fine with it.
听起来像挖苦 但我不在乎 因为我有个提议 漆弹比赛
That sounds like sarcasm,but I'm going to disregard it,because I have an agenda-- paintball.
Specifically,the interdepartmental tournament this weekend.
In order to function better as a fighting unit,
I thought we should establish a chain of command.
Now,it goes without saying that I would outrank the three of you,
but the question remains,by how much?
Now,I don't see me as some four-star general,
back at HQ riding a desk and playing golf with the Secretary of Defense.
But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper,
because that might lead you to think of me as just a regular Joe.
This might take some thought.As you were.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Yeah,how could you do that?
- 跟你有什么关系? - 我支持他
- What is it to you? - I got his back.
是啊 你就是嫉妒 在Leonard之后 Penny选择了我
Yeah,right.You're just jealous because it turns out I'm Penny's number two choice after Leonard.
嘿 如果我没有和Bernadette订婚 很可能就是我
Hey,if I wasn't engaged to Bernadette,that totally could have been me.
算了吧 Sheldon都比你有机会 他还可能没有生殖器
Please.Sheldon would have been before you,and he might not even have genitals!
Why do you care so much?
You're dating my sister,and Penny and I are in love.
先生们 我插一句 我决定我的军衔是上尉
Gentlemen,if I may interject,I've decided my rank will be captain.
If it's good enough for Kirk,Crunch and Kangaroo,
it's good enough for me.
You're not in love with Penny.
The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love.
他是印度版的丘比特 但比他好多了 他骑着巨大的鹦鹉
He's the Hindu version of Cupid,but way better,because he rides a giant parrot.
You fall in love with any girl who smiles at you.
A month ago,you were writing poems about his fianc.
Rubbish.He's talking rubbish.
"Oh,Bernadette,please play my clarinet."
That could have been about anyone.
再说 你现在也不用担心 我已经和Penny好上了
Besides,you have nothing to worry about,because now I'm the dusky half of Koothrapenny.
For the record,I do have genitals.
They're functional and aesthetically pleasing.
Wine glasses should have handles.
Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake.
明智之举 因为你只喝一点 就捅了个大篓子
Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you've had a few.
You heard what I did?
Well,I heard who you did.
Oh,my God,I screwed up everything.
I hurt Leonard.
I hurt Raj.
I mean,what is wrong with me?
I feel like two totally different people-- Dr.Jekyll and Mrs.Whore.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Do you know the story of Catherine the Great?
She ruled Russia in the late 1700s,and one night,
when she was feeling particularly randy,
she used an intricate system of pulleys to have intimate relations with a horse.
I'm... I'm sorry.
What does this have to do with me?
She engaged in interspecies hanky-panky,and people still call her "Great."
I'm sure your reputation can survive you shagging a little Indian boy.
You jerk face!
What did you tell Howard?!
Did you say there was something going on between us?
Because he thinks there is!He's completely freaking out!
What the hell is wrong with you?!
好吧 你总是对我不错 我以为你可能喜欢我
Well...You were always so nice to me,I thought maybe you liked me.
I'm nice to everyone!
Damn right,you're sorry!
And you tell Howard there's never been anything between us!
- 嗨 Bernadette - 干嘛
- Hey,Bernadette? - What?!
Do you think I have a shot with Penny?
Of course you do.You're a cutie pie!
Any girl would be lucky to have you!
You know,I've done this before.
我上幼儿园时 本该在课间嫁给Jason Sorensen
In kindergarten,I was supposed to marry Jason Sorensen at recess,
但等我们班下课 他已经和Chelsea Himmelfarb订婚了
but by the time my class got out there,he was already engaged to Chelsea Himmelfarb.
So what did I do?
Hung upside down from the monkey bars,let all the boys see my underpants.
You can't blame yourself.
When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy,promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine.
We neurobiologists refer to this as the "skank reflex.
" You know what?Let's get out of here.
Where are we going?
Somewhere where no one's seen me naked.
We may have to drive awhile.
Subtlety isn't her strong suit,is it?
Can I stay at your place for a few nights?