But beyond that, I have realized that the leo I described
Would not have agreed to go to rehab.
Because leo's a middle child.
There is no leo!
How can you say that?
You didn't read the bio, did you?
He's not just a middle child,
He is the quintessential middle child--
From a broken home, to boot.
Psychologically speaking, the attention he gets by rebelling,
Even to the point of self-destruction,
Is more emotionally valuable than the help he would get at rehab.
I've got a solution.
Great. what is it?
I've hesitated to point this out,
But I must now remind you that we
Are in our current predicament because of your initial
And totally inadequate deceit.
I'm just trying to clean up after your mess.
We'll talk in the morning.
Who are you?
I am sheldon's cousin leo.
Sheldon does not have a cousin leo.
I'm 26 years old.
I'm originally from... denton, texas,
But I was a navy brat, so I was
Brought up on a variety of military bases around the world.
As a result, I've often felt like an outsider--
Never really fitting in,
Which is probably the reason for my substance abuse problem.
Excuse me, we just went over this.
As the quintessential middle child, your addiction
Is rooted in your unmet need for attention.
Oh, sheldon, are we really going to go with pop psychology?
For your information, this is all based on solid research.
Just stick with the character profile I wrote for you.
Sheldon? I'm sorry.
Leonard, this is toby loobenfeld.
He's a research assistant
In the particle physics lab,
But he also minored in theater at mit.
It was more of a double major, actually.
Theater and physics.
You can guess which one my bourgeois parents
Pushed me toward.
Yeah, I got it.
You see, while leo would not have gone into rehab,
It is completely plauible that we would have talked him
Into leaving the motel and coming home with us.
Oh... sheldon, how about this
As my motivation-- when I was 14 years old,
I was abused in the philippines by a clubfooted navy chaplain.
No. we're going with middle child
And a genetic predisposition to inadequate serotonin production.
Swell. how do I play genetic predisposition?
Subtextually, of course.
Just have fun with it.
Hi. how did the intervention go?
Unfortunately, we weren't able to convince him to go to rehab.
Oh. well, based on what you told me, I am not surprised.
But we did convince him to leave the motel.
Come say hello.
Leo. this is penny,
Our friend and neighbor.
How are you feeling?
Let me ask you something, penny.
Have you ever woken up in a fleabag motel
Covered in your own vomit,
Next to a transsexual prostitute?
Then don't ask me how I'm feeling.
Well, that's leo.
Why don't you tell me about your showcase last night.
Oh. it was okay, I guess.
It wasn't a big turnout,
But they both really seemed to like it.
There were only two people there?
By the end, yeah.
Damn you, chaplain harrigan!
I'm... I'm sorry?
The subic bay naval station.
A young boy on the cusp of manhood.
His only companions,
Mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes.
Desperate and alone,
He reached out to a man who promised to introduce him
To a merciful, loving god,
But who instead introduced him
To a gin-pickled tongue shoved down his adolescent throat.
What choice did he have but to drink,
Shoot and snort his pain away?
Don't forget his genetic predisposition towards addiction.
That's never been proven. there have been studies.
Not double-blind studies.
How could there be a double-blind study?
Who would be the control group?
As you can see, detoxing can get pretty ugly.
Let's give them some privacy.
Hey, do you want to come over to my place, have coffee?
Oh, sounds good.
I have a video of me singing last night.
Do you want to see it?
Gee, why wouldn't i?
This is even better than you coming to the showcase,
Because now I get to watch you watch me.
Funny how things work out.
...but he loved the companionship
And the wisdom that his own father failed to provide.
Your parents made the right decision.
I cannot work like this.
This is amazing.
Just sitting on a couch watching tv with a woman.
Not being drunk or, or high
Or wondering if you're a dude down there.
Leo, you are a very sweet, really funny guy.
You're going to do okay.
One day at a time, penny.
One day at a time.
How long is he going to stay here?
He's a homeless drug addict, leonard.
Where is he going to go?
Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying.