生活大爆炸第一季第十一集part2

The Big Bang Theory S01E11

.

2019年9月11日 07:05

你早饭想吃什么?!
What do you want for breakfast?!
巧克力牛奶和冰冻松饼谢谢!
Chocolate milk and eggos, please!
-听我说 -等下有呼叫等待
-listen to me. -hang on. call waiting.
不别...!
No, don't...!
你好
Hello.
霍华德我病了
Howard, I'm sick.
霍华德在睡觉呢我是他妈!
Howard's sleeping. this is his mother!
你为什么要在这么邪恶的时间来电话?
Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?
我要喝汤
I need soup.
找你自己的妈妈去!
Then call your own mother!
是谢尔顿
It was sheldon.
-我刚才阻止你来着 -是我的错
-i tried to stop you. -it's my own fault.
我忘了06年耳炎大事件之后
I forgot the protocol we put in place
我们定下的协议了
after the great ear infection of 06.
你打电话给库萨帕里
You call koothrappali.
在接下来的18到24小时里我们要找地方躲起来
We need to find a place to lay low for the next 18 to 24 hours.
等一下
Stand by.
妈我朋友能来家里坐坐吗?
Ma, can my friends come over?
我刚洗过地毯!
I just had the carpet steamed!
被否决了
That's a negatory.
但是今天电影展里会上演"决战猩球"全集
But there's a planet of the apes marathon at the nuart today.
5部电影每部2小时
Five movies, two hours apiece..
算是个开始
It's a start.
有个疯子加流浪汉在18号桌
Homeless, crazy guy at table 18.
不只是疯子而已
No, just crazy.
谢尔顿你在这里做什么?
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
我病了非常感谢
I'm sick. thank you very much.
怎么会是我传染给你的呢? 我没有病
How could you have gotten if from me? I'm not sick.
你是携带者
You're a carrier.
这里的所有人都在劫难逃
All these people here are doomed.
你们在劫难逃啦!
You're doomed!
谢尔顿你想要干什么?
Sheldon, what do you want?
我想要喝汤
I want soup.
为什么你不...?
Why didn't you...?
为什么你不在家弄汤喝?
Why didn't you just have soup at home?
潘妮我的智商是187
Penny, I have an iq of 187.
你不会想想如果我在家有办法
Don't you imagine that if there were a way for me
喝汤的话你觉得我会来这里么?
To have had soup at home, I would have thought of it?
你可以叫外卖啊
You can have soup delivered.
这点我倒没想过
I did not think of that.
很明显我已经处于发烧后的精神错乱状态了
Clearly, febrile delirium is setting in.
趁我还知道汤匙是做什么用
Please bring me some soup
请快给我上汤吧
While I still understand what a spoon is for.
你想要什么汤?
What kind of soup do you want?
我母亲过去给我做的汤里面有切开的豌豆
Well, my mother used to make me this split pea
切片的法兰克福香肠和一些自制的油煎面包块
With little frankfurter slices and these homemade croutons.
我们有鸡汤玉米汤和土豆葱汤
We have chicken, tortilla and potato leek.
有没有什么汤里是放切片的法兰克福香肠
Could I get any of those with little frankfurter slices
和自制的油煎面包块的? 没有
And homemade croutons? No.
那就给我个惊喜吧
Then surprise me.
你们觉得它是黄绿色还是树绿色?
Would you call that "moss green" or "forest green"?
看看每个人都选了黑猩猩
Look at this. everyone went chimp.
我要指出我之前提议选的是人猿
I'd like to point out that I voted for orangutan,
但是被你给否决了!
But you shouted me down!
-潘妮 -你在哪呢?
-hi, penny. -hey, where are you?
我在...工作
I'm... at work.
你的声音很奇怪
You sound funny.
我...我穿着反辐射工作服
Look. I'm... I'm in a radiation suit.
-有什么事吗? -我也在工作
-what's up? -i'm at work, too,
你绝对猜不到谁在这里用病菌感染着我整个工作区
And you'll never guess who's here infecting my entire station.
谢尔顿在芝士蛋糕店
Sheldon's at the cheesecake factory.
-告诉他让他回家 -他不走
-just tell him to go home. -he won't leave.
他怕他会晕倒在公车上
He's afraid he'll pass out on the bus,
然后有人会把他的器官割走
And someone will harvest his organs.
他已经有妄想症状了不过他已经找到了地方呆着
He's paranoid, and he's established a nest.
你能过来接他吗?
Can you please come get him?
当然可以
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
我的天啊辐射室出现裂缝了!
Oh, my god, there's a breach in the radiation unit!
整个城市要陷于危险中了! 我的天啊!
The whole city is in jeopardy! oh, my god!
安全壳已经开始融化了不能说了拜!
The containment vessel's melting. gotta go. bye!
我感到非常内疚
I feel really guilty.
你做了你该做的
You did what you had to do.
把你的脏爪子从我的爆米花上移开
Take your stinking paws off my popcorn,
你个恶心可恶的大猩猩!
You damn dirty ape!
谢谢你带我回家
Thanks for bringing me home.
没关系我今天不是很需要上班
It's okay. I didn't really need to work today.
反正我也没车和房子的贷款要缴
It's not like I have rent or car payments or anything.
好那就好
Good, good.
好吧祝你康复
Okay, well, you feel better.
等等! 你要去哪里?
Wait! where are you going?
回家... 去写一些空头支票
Home... to write some bad checks.
你就这样扔下我不管?
You're going to leave me?
谢尔顿你已经长大了你之前没生过病吗
Sheldon, you are a grown man. haven't you ever been sick before?
当然生过不过有人照顾我啊
Of course, but not by myself.
真的? 从来没自己一人过?
Really? never?
有一次我15岁
Well, once, when I was 15,
暑假的时候在德国的海德尔堡学院
Spending the summer at the heidelberg institute in germany.
出国留学?
Studying abroad?
不是被邀请当客座教授
No. visiting professor.
总之当地的烹饪方法用的香肠比我习惯的多了一些
Anyway, the local cuisine was a little more sausage-based
结果就是肚子里上演了陆军联合闪电战
Than I'm used to, and the result was an internal blitzkrieg,
我的大肠扮演的是捷克斯洛伐克
With my lower intestine playing the part of czechoslovakia.
当时没有人在那里照顾你么?
And there was no one there to take care of you?
我妈要飞回德克萨斯帮我爸爸的忙
My mom had to fly back to texas to help my dad,
因为房子的煤渣砖又塌方了
Because the house had slipped off the cinder blocks again.
-又? -当时是狂风季节
-again? -it was tornado season.
那是个临时工棚
And it was an aluminum house.
当时学院公寓里的管家不会讲英文
The housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any english.
当我终于让她相信我生病了的时候
When I finally managed to convince her I was sick,
她说 "mochtest du eine darmspfilung?"
She said,"mochtest du eine darmspfilung?"
那是什么意思?
What does that mean?
根据之后发生的事我认为意思是
Based on what happened next, I assume it means,
"你想要灌肠吗?"
"would you like an enema?"
好吧亲爱的我来照顾你吧
Okay, sweetie. I'll take care of you.
你需要我做什么
What do you need?
我妈妈常给我用海绵擦身
My mom used to give me sponge baths.
基本规则禁止用海绵擦身
Ok ground rules. No sponge baths,
还有绝对禁止灌肠
And definitely no enemas.
同意
Agreed.
开始了
Here we go.
2个半小时的猩猩大战老天啊
Ten-and-a-half hours of ape-y goodness.
晕我的眼镜
Damn it, my glasses.
兄弟们我处于"半瞎"状态你们可以帮我找找么?
Okay, I'm blind here, guys. can you help me find them?
-对不起 -好
-sorry. -okay.
找到了
Found them.
好极了
Oh, great.
对不起你没有备用的吗
I'm sorry. don't you have a spare?
有啊可是在家里
Yeah, at home.
如果你现在走
If you leave now,
你可以赶在大猩猩把查尔顿·赫斯顿的屎掏出来之前回来
You can be back before the gorillas rip the crap out of charlton heston.
不过谢尔顿要是在家的话你就将永远被困在
Unless sheldon's there, in which case, you'll be trapped forever
他那喋喋不休的超神经质的鼻涕网中
In his whiny, hyper-neurotic snot web.
潘妮吗
Hi. penny?
我想问下谢尔顿还在店里吗
I was just wondering, is sheldon still at the restaurant?
好的你真是个大好人我得挂了
Okay, that was very nice of you. okay, I gotta go.
切尔诺贝利事件升级了挂了再见
Got kind of a full-blown chernobyl thing here. gotta go, bye.
他在家我完了
He's home. I'm screwed.
要看十个半小时的模糊猩猩
Ten-and-a-half hours of ape-y blurriness.
做个激光手术怎么样?
How about lasik?
你想让我去做眼部手术?
You want me to get eye surgery?