生活大爆炸 第一季第十二集part4
The Big Bang Theory S01E12
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2019年9月11日 07:10
不不 请进
No, no. please come in.
你看了这个会喜出望外的
Yeah, I think you'll appreciate this.
非常令人振奋
This is very exciting.
你在研究什么
Oh, what are you working on?
很不寻常的东西
Something remarkable.
考虑到我在物理领域赢得诺贝尔奖的愿景
Since my prospects for the nobel prize in physics
已经不复存在
Have disappeared--
非常感谢你 我已经决定
Thank you very much-- I've decided
重新定位我的方向 运用我的社交能力
To refocus my efforts and use my people skills
去赢得诺贝尔和平奖
To win the nobel peace prize.
看着
Look.
我会在墨西哥沙漠的中心
I'm going to solve the middle east crisis
建造另一个一模一样的耶路撒冷
By building an exact replica of jerusalem
来解决中东危机
In the middle of the mexican desert.
怎么解决?
To what end?
你知道 就像拍棒球类的电影一样
You know, it's like the baseball movie.
"只要拍 大家就都会来"
"build it and they will come."
谁会来?
Who will come?
犹太人
The jewish people.
如果他们不来怎么办?
What if they don't come?
那我们就热情些 摆一个宴会
We'll make it nice, put out a spread.
好吧
Okay, well, um...
说到宴会
Speaking of spreads,
今天下午我们将为金先生准备
We're having a small welcoming party
一个小小欢迎会
This afternoon for mr. kim who's agreed
他已经答应进入我们大学
To join us here at the university.
他当然答应了
Of course he has.
神使告诉我们
The oracle told us
小尼奥就是这个人
Little neo was the one.
你可以看见矩阵 是吧?
You can see the matrix, can't you?
好了 很明显你现在正忙
Okay, well, obviously you're very busy
你的...
With your, uh, um...
走吧 丹尼斯
Come, dennis.
你得原谅库珀博士
You'll have to excuse dr. cooper.
他最近经历了很多...
He's been under a lot of, um...
他是个疯子
He's nuts.
我真的不明白你
I really don't understand
反对的理由 歌德法布教授
Your objections, professor goldfarb.
为什么索诺拉沙漠
Why wouldn't the sonora desert
不会是一个完美的乐土呢
Make a perfectly good promised land?
走开
Go away.
我们可以叫它"新耶路撒冷"
We could call it nuevo jerusalem.
请走开
Please go away.
法老对摩西说
Said pharaoh to moses.
这怎么那么多小姑娘?
Why are all these young women here?
今天是"带你女儿来工作"日
It's take your daughter to work day.
真的?
Really?
我不知道嘛
I was not aware of that.
是的 有一份非常正式的电子邮件
Oh, yes. there was a very official e-mail
发到了每一位
That was sent to everyone
保险档案上显示
Whose insurance files indicated
自己有个14到16周岁女儿的人手上
They had daughters between the ages of 14 and 16.
-漂亮 -谢谢smooth. thank you.
我们的男主角来了
There's the man of the hour.
好了 我们现在让这个不擅交际的小天才
Okay, so we now have a socially-awkward genius
深陷于一屋子年龄相当且令人销魂的女孩群中了
In a room full of attractive, age-appropriate women.
他要做的就是泡上她们其中的一个
All he has to do now is hook up with one of them.
你们发现这个计划的瑕疵没?
Anyone else see the flaw in this plan?
我们需要社交方面的催化剂
We need a social catalyst.
比如?
Like what?
我们可不能把15岁的女孩弄醉
We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
我们能啊
Or can we?
不 我们不能
No, we can't.
我想你不是说"我们不能"
I don't think you mean "we can't."
而是说"我们不应该"
I think you mean "we shouldn't."
霍华德 你是个犹太人
Hey, howard, you're a jew.
如果有另外一面哭墙
If there was another wailing wall
和在耶路撒冷的一模一样
Exactly like the one in jerusalem
不过比较靠近炸玉米卷摊和卖便宜处方药的药店
But close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs,
你还会对着那面墙哀哭吗
Would you still be able to wail at it?
好吧 又是我没事找事
Okay, it's definitely me.
我们不能等着老天来决定了
Okay, we cannot leave this to chance.
咱们来挑个女孩
Let's pick a girl and figure out
然后琢磨下怎么让她和丹尼斯搞到一起
How to get her together with dennis.
对 那个怎么样?
Okay, how about that one?
我对这一类的太了解了
Uh-uh. I know the type.
拉拉队长 学生会干事 总是跟运动员约会
Cheerleader, student council, goes out with the jocks,
甚至看都不会看那些天才班里的人
Won't even look at anybody in the gifted program.
之后如果 你苦苦哀求她两年
And if, after two years of begging,
她终于愿意跟你约会
She does agree to go out with you,
结果却也是一个事先设计好的骗局
It turns out to be a setup and you're in the backseat
你光着屁♥股坐在你妈汽车的后座上时
Of your mom's car with your pants off
会有整个橄榄球队队员过来嘲笑你的...
While the whole football team laughs at y...
你在哭吗
Are you crying?
没有 有点过敏罢了
No, I have allergies.
好吧 那这个怎么样?
Okay, um, oh, hey, how about her?
可以 如果他想帮她写个几年作业
Sure, if he wants to spend a couple years
而那些时候她通常已经用白俄罗斯人(一种鸡尾酒)
Doing her homework while she drinks herself
把自己灌得不省人事了
Into a stupor with nonfat white russians.
而你还得扶着她的头从厕所出来
And you're the one holding her head
她会一边吐一边告诉你说
Out of the toilet while she's puking
真希望"男的都像你这样"
And telling you she wishes "more guys were like you."
然后她会拿着你帮她写的论文顺利地进入康奈尔大学
And then she gets into cornell because you wrote her essay
当你某个周末开车去找她的时候
For her and you drive up to visit her one weekend
她却会装出一副好像从来都不认识你的样子
And she acts like she doesn't even know you.
算了 这个也不行
Okay, so not her, either.
那个怎么样?
Oh, hey, how about her?
有点意思 长得不错
Oh, interesting, kind of pretty,
有点胖乎乎 因此很可能不那么孤傲
A little chubby, so probably low self-esteem.
我看就是她了
I think that's our girl.
咱们谁过去跟她搭话
One of us should go talk to her.
我不可能跟她搭话 你去吧
I can't talk to her-- you do it.
我怎么可能就这么过去跟她搭话
I can't just go up and talk to her.
霍华德 你去吧
Howard, you talk to her.
不好说 一旦让她瞄到我的话
I don't know, she'll never go for the kid
她肯定不会去找那小孩了
Once she gets a peek at this.
知道吗 如果在印度 这就简单多了
You know, if we were in india, this would be simpler.
跟她父亲谈五分钟 20头山羊 一台笔记本电脑
Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop,
一切搞定
And we'd be done.
可我们不在印度啊
Well, we're not in india.
好啊 那我们看看你要怎么办
All right, why don't we do it your way then?
我们安排这个女孩搬到
We'll arrange for this girl
与丹尼斯只有一走廊之隔的地方
To move in across the hall from dennis
让他可以像哈巴狗一样几个月不停地为她倾倒
So he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
好 那确实没有道理
Okay, that was uncalled for.
是你先开始的 哥们
You started it, dude.
请大家听我说好吗
Could I have everyone's attention, please?
这是一个多么美妙的场合
What a wonderful occasion this is,
我们十分幸运能有机会
And how fortunate that it should happen to fall
来参加"带你女儿来工作"日
On take your daughter to work day.
在这里我们欢迎
We're here to welcome
丹尼斯·金先生加入我们这个小家庭
Mr. dennis kim to our little family.
欢迎 丹尼斯·金
Welcome, dennis kim.
金先生
Mr. kim
不仅是在斯坦福大学毕业典礼上发言的毕业生
Was not only the valedictorian at stanford university,
他更是极具声望的史蒂文森奖
He is also the youngest recipient
有史以来最年轻的获得者
Of the prestigious stevenson award.
直到纪录被半机械人打破前最年轻的
Youngest till the cyborgs rise up!
现在 废话不多说
And now, without any further ado,
让我向大家介绍此时此刻的主角
Let me introduce the man of the hour,
丹尼斯·金先生
Mr. dennis kim.
丹尼斯?
Dennis?
丹尼斯
Dennis!
干什么?
What?!
你能不能向大家
Would you like to tell us
稍微介绍下你近期的研究?
A little bit about your upcoming research?
算了吧 谢了
No, thanks.
我得跟爱玛去趟购物中心
I'm going to the mall with emma.
那孩子搞到了一个
The kid got a girl.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
你们谁看到他是怎么做的了吗
Did anyone see how he did it?
别担心 看我的
Don't worry, I've got this.
女士们 先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
尊敬的女儿们 当金先生
Honored daughters, while mr. kim,
因为他的年幼和无知
By virtue of his youth and naivete,
被人类交往中一种神秘的需求所俘虏时
Has fallen prey to the inexplicable need
请允许我插两句
For human contact, let me step in
我向你们保证我的研究会不间断地继续下去的
And assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted,
而那些人际关系的种种将会继续困惑
And that social relationships will continue to baffle
并且排斥我
And repulse me.
谢谢
Thank you.
他回来了
He's back.
是啊 任务完成了
Yeah, mission accomplished.
别提这任务了
Forget the mission.
那小屁孩自己是怎么吊上马子的?
How did that little yutz get a girl on his own?
我想现在已经不是我们年轻时的那个时代了
I guess times have changed since we were young.
天才也性感了smart is the new sexy.
那为什么我们每天晚上还是孤身一人回家?
Then why do we go home alone every night?
我们也还是天才啊
We're still smart.
也许我们太天才了
Maybe we're too smart.
天才到了物极必反的地步
So smart it's off-putting.
是 说得没错
Yeah, let's go with that.
简直不敢相信
Unbelievable.
我制造的元件
Components I built
已经用在了国际空间站上 而我只得到了一张
Are on the international space station and I get a ticket
公园里发射模型火箭的门票
For launching a model rocket in the park.
我不知道这张票对于
I don't know if the ticket was
来这里发射是不是那么重要
So much for the launch as it was
因为你会对着女警说
For you telling the policewoman,
"你得搜搜我的身
"you have to frisk me.
我裤裆里还有个火箭"
I have another rocket in my pants."
你们看那儿
Hey, look at that.
是丹尼斯·金
It's dennis kim.
我差点认不出他了
Wow, I almost didn't recognize him.
我们对他做了那些我感到有些愧疚
You know, I kind of feel bad about what we did to him.
没错 我们真的毁了他的一生
Yeah, we really ruined his life.
去他的 是他弱
Screw him-- he was weak.
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