时光机

这三明治真是个彻底的失败品
This sandwich is an unmitigated disaster.
我点的是火鸡和烤牛肉
I asked for turkey and roast beef
全麦上放生菜和芝士
With lettuce and swiss on whole wheat.
那他们给你的什么?
What did they give you?
火鸡和烤牛肉
Turkey and roast beef
全麦上放的芝士和生菜
With swiss and lettuce on whole wheat.
东西确实一样 但是顺序不对啊
It's the right ingredients, but in the wrong order.
一个合格的三明治
In a proper sandwich,
它的芝士要紧贴着面包
The cheese is adjacent to the bread
这样会提供给生菜一个有水分的屏障
To create a moisture barrier against the lettuce.
他们可能带着这玩意过了一趟洗车房
They might as well have dragged this thing through a car wash.
不太可能吧
I don't believe it.
我知道 这是很基本的烹饪知识
I know. it's basic culinary science.
有人拍卖了一个原版电影里用过的时间机器道具
Some guy is auctioning off a miniature time machine prop
但竟然没人竞拍
From the original film, and no one is bidding on it.
电影"时间机器"里的时间机器?
A time machine from the movie the time machine?
不 是"苏菲的选择"里的时间机器
No. a time machine from sophie's choice.
厉害 苏菲在电影里是用过一个时间机器
Boy, sophie could have used a time machine in that movie.
你见过吗? 挺刚猛啊
Did you see it? it's rough.
酷毙了
Oh, that's cool.
只要800美金?
It's only $800?
没错 那是我出的价钱
Yeah. and that's my bid.
你出价800美元?
You bid $800?
我没多想一时定下的嘛
It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.
我想它怎么都会飙到上千的
I figured it would go for thousands,
我只是想参与一下而已
And I just wanted to be a part of it.
拍卖还剩30秒就结束了
There's only 30 seconds left in the auction.
你有800美金吗?
Do you have $800?
撼动不了这台小型时间机器
Not to blow on a miniature time machine.
别担心 一般大家都是
Well, don't worry. the way these things work
等到最后一秒钟
Is people wait until the last second to bid,
然后突然杀进来把它拍走 这就叫淘宝
And then they swoop in and get it. it's called sniping.
15秒
15 seconds.
快点啊 淘宝人
Come on, snipers.
10 9 8...
Ten, nine, eight...
你的淘宝人呢?
Where are your snipers?
5 淘啊
Five... snipe.
4 淘啊
Four... snipe.
3 淘啊
Three... snipe!
2 淘啊
Two... snipe!
One...
祝贺你
Congratulations!
你光荣地成为这台小型时间机器的主人了
You are the proud owner of a miniature time machine!
你个幸运的家伙
You lucky duck.
我想不通怎么没人竞拍了
I wonder why no one else bid.
这是部经♥典高科技电影里很有纪念意义的东西啊
This is a classic piece of sci-fi movie memorabilia.
我知道 可我仍然没钱买它
Yeah, I know! I still can't afford it.
要不我们一起凑钱吧?
Why don't we share it?
我们每人出200
We'll each put in 200 bucks, and we'll
然后我们轮流把它放家里
Take turns having it in our house.
一个时间共享的时间机器
A time-share time machine.
我同意 谢尔顿?
I'm in. sheldon?
还用你问吗?
Need you ask?
可我还是不明白怎么就没人出价
I still don't understand why no one else bid.
我明白为什么没人出价了
I understand why no one else bid.
那单子上确实有写是小型的吗?
Did the listing actually say "miniature"?
我也在想
I just assumed.
谁会800块就卖一个完整尺寸的时间机器啊?
Who sells a full-size time machine for $800?
在文氏图中 可能是一个在"不想要我的时间机器"
In a venn diagram, that would be an individual located
和"急需800块钱"两区间
Within the intersection of the sets "no longer want my time machine"
取交集的人
And "need $800."
这个价钱的确非常低了
It's actually a tremendous bargain.
就算加上运费
Even with shipping, it works out
算下来平均每磅不到4美金呢
To less than four dollars a pound.
调味酱稣虾是12块5
Cocktail shrimp are $12.50.
我们怎么把这玩意弄上楼?
How are we going to get it upstairs?
如果把这个盘子取下来
If we take the dish off,
应该能放进电梯里
It might fit in the elevator.
对 可是电梯都坏了2年了
Yes, but the elevator has been broken for two years.
我曾经想问过你
I've been meaning to ask you.
你说我们是不是该打个电话呢
Do you think we should make a call about that?
没必要
Not necessary.
我是工程学硕士
I have a master's in engineering.
我闭眼都能远程修复卫星
I remotely repair satellites on a regular basis.
我还能检修航天飞机载弹头
I troubleshoot space shuttle payloads.
当火星探测器开始向左行驶时
When the mars rover started pulling to the left, I performed
我在6200万英里以外进行用户接口联合
A front-end alignment from 62 million miles away.
不 这宝贝已经坏了
No. that baby's broken.
加油啊 伙计们 用力推!
Come on, guys! push!
如果我再用力
If I push any harder,
就快把结肠给"分娩"出来了
I'm going to give birth to my colon.
我手指都快没知觉了 快点!
I can't feel my fingers. hurry up!
不管多快
It's the same amount of work
工作量都是一样的
No matter how fast you go.
基本的物理原理
Basic physics.
-谢尔顿? -干嘛?
Sheldon? yeah?
如果我的手指以后还能用
If my fingers ever work again,
我想我的中指以后有活干了
I've got a job for the middle one.
好 各位
Oh. hey, guys.
你好 潘妮
Oh. hi, penny.
休息一会吧
Take a break, guys.
你们在干什么
What are you doing?
我们在...搬点东西上来
We're just, you know, moving something upstairs.
什么东西
What is it?
就是个...时间机器
Just... you know. time machine.
好的 不错 但我要赶去工作了 所以...
Yeah. okay. neat. but I really got to get to work.
-再给我们几分钟 -我等不了几分钟
Just give us a few minutes. I don't have a few minutes.
我已经晚了
I'm running really late.
我有个简单的办法
Then, I have a simple solution.
去到楼顶 跳到另一栋楼顶上
Go up to the roof. hop over to the next building.
中间离得不远
There's a small gap--
如果你容易晕就别往下看
Don't look down if you're subject to vertigo--