This sandwich is an unmitigated disaster.
I asked for turkey and roast beef
With lettuce and swiss on whole wheat.
What did they give you?
Turkey and roast beef
With swiss and lettuce on whole wheat.
It's the right ingredients, but in the wrong order.
In a proper sandwich,
The cheese is adjacent to the bread
To create a moisture barrier against the lettuce.
They might as well have dragged this thing through a car wash.
I don't believe it.
I know. it's basic culinary science.
Some guy is auctioning off a miniature time machine prop
From the original film, and no one is bidding on it.
A time machine from the movie the time machine?
No. a time machine from sophie's choice.
Boy, sophie could have used a time machine in that movie.
Did you see it? it's rough.
Oh, that's cool.
It's only $800?
Yeah. and that's my bid.
You bid $800?
It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.
I figured it would go for thousands,
And I just wanted to be a part of it.
There's only 30 seconds left in the auction.
Do you have $800?
Not to blow on a miniature time machine.
Well, don't worry. the way these things work
Is people wait until the last second to bid,
And then they swoop in and get it. it's called sniping.
Come on, snipers.
10 9 8...
Ten, nine, eight...
Where are your snipers?
You are the proud owner of a miniature time machine!
You lucky duck.
I wonder why no one else bid.
This is a classic piece of sci-fi movie memorabilia.
Yeah, I know! I still can't afford it.
Why don't we share it?
We'll each put in 200 bucks, and we'll
Take turns having it in our house.
A time-share time machine.
I'm in. sheldon?
Need you ask?
I still don't understand why no one else bid.
I understand why no one else bid.
Did the listing actually say "miniature"?
I just assumed.
Who sells a full-size time machine for $800?
In a venn diagram, that would be an individual located
Within the intersection of the sets "no longer want my time machine"
And "need $800."
It's actually a tremendous bargain.
Even with shipping, it works out
To less than four dollars a pound.
Cocktail shrimp are $12.50.
How are we going to get it upstairs?
If we take the dish off,
It might fit in the elevator.
Yes, but the elevator has been broken for two years.
I've been meaning to ask you.
Do you think we should make a call about that?
I have a master's in engineering.
I remotely repair satellites on a regular basis.
I troubleshoot space shuttle payloads.
When the mars rover started pulling to the left, I performed
A front-end alignment from 62 million miles away.
No. that baby's broken.
加油啊 伙计们 用力推!
Come on, guys! push!
If I push any harder,
I'm going to give birth to my colon.
I can't feel my fingers. hurry up!
It's the same amount of work
No matter how fast you go.
If my fingers ever work again,
I've got a job for the middle one.
Oh. hey, guys.
Oh. hi, penny.
Take a break, guys.
What are you doing?
We're just, you know, moving something upstairs.
What is it?
Just... you know. time machine.
好的 不错 但我要赶去工作了 所以...
Yeah. okay. neat. but I really got to get to work.
Just give us a few minutes. I don't have a few minutes.
I'm running really late.
Then, I have a simple solution.
Go up to the roof. hop over to the next building.
There's a small gap--
Don't look down if you're subject to vertigo--