And use their stairwell.
You're joking, right?
Oh, I never joke when it comes to vertigo.
该死 好吧 我去房顶看看
Damn. okay, I'll just take the roof.
Hey, if you wait for us to set up the time machine,
I can drop you off at work yesterday.
Time travel joke. it's not... never mind.
For what it's worth, I thought it was humorous.
Let's just do this.
You guys ready to push?
In a minute.
Howard stepped outside to throw up.
I don't know what you were worried about.
I think it really works in the room.
It is by far the coolest thing
I have ever owned.
The exact time machine that carried actor rod taylor
From victorian england
Into the post-apocalyptic future,
Where society had splintered into the two factions
The subterranean morlocks, who survived by feasting
On the flesh of the gentle surface-dwelling eloi.
Talk about your chick magnets.
The guy who lives next to me is always like,
"i have a jacuzzi on my balcony.
I have a jacuzzi on my balcony."
But wait until I tell him,
"i've got a time machine on my balcony.
Stuff that in your speedo, jacuzzi bob."
Gentlemen, I know we said we'd take turns,
But I think you'll agree
That practicality dictates it remain here.
You can't just keep it here.
What if I meet a girl and say,
"you want to come up and see my time machine?
It's at my friends' house."
How lame is that?
He's got a point. all right,
I think we're going to need some ground rules; in addition
To the expected "no shoes in the time machine,"
And "no eating in the time machine,"
I propose we add "pants must be worn
At all times in the time machine."
I was going to put down a towel.
I still want it on my balcony.
I say we move it on a bi-monthly basis.
Yeah, that sounds fair.
Hold on, bi-monthly is an ambiguous term.
Do you mean move it every other month or twice a month?
Twice a month. then no.
Okay, every other month.
Sheldon, you can't be selfish.
We all paid for it, so it belongs to all of us.
Now get out of the way so I can sit in my time machine.
Okay, I am setting the dials for march 10, 1876.
Good choice, alexander graham bell
Invents the telephone and calls out for dr. watson.
Wait a minute. I'd want to see that, too.
So when it's your turn, you can.
But if we all go back to the same point in time,
Bell's lab is going to get very crowded.
He'll know something's up.
Also since the time machine doesn't move in space,
You'll end up in 1876 pasadena.
And even if you can make it to boston, what are you going to do?
Knock on the door and say to mrs. bell,
"嘿 贝尔夫人 我是你老公的疯狂粉丝
"hey, mrs. bell. big fan of your husband.
Can I come in and watch him invent the telephone?"
Mrs. bell was deaf.
She's not even going to hear you knock.
I have a solution.
First, go into the future and obtain a cloaking device.
Ooh, how far into the future?
If I remember correctly,
Captain kirk will steal a cloaking device
From the romulans on stardate 5027.3,
Which would be january 10, 2328 by pre-federation reckoning.
Okay, I am setting the dials for january 10, 2328.
Here we go into the future.
That was fun.
Okay, first of all,
What you call a gap was nearly three feet wide.
I slipped and skinned my knee. are you okay?
Second of all, the door to the stairwell
Of the other building was locked,
So I had to go down the fire escape,
Which ends on the third floor,
Forcing me to crawl through the window
Of a lovely armenian family
Who insisted I stay for lunch.
That doesn't sound too bad.
It was eight courses of lamb,
And they tried to fix me up with their son.
I'm sorry. not done.
By the time I finally
Got to work, they'd given my shift away.
Yeah, that's right.
I lost an entire day's pay thanks to this.
This... time machine.
灯会一闪一闪 托盘还会转 你想不想试试?
The lights flash and the dish spins. you want to try it?
I don't want to try it!
My god, you are grown men!
How can you waste your lives with these
Stupid toys and costumes
And comic books and... and now that?!
-那个... -再次提醒 时间机器
That... again. time machine.
Oh, please, it's not a time machine.
If anything, it looks like something
Elton john would drive through the everglades.
It only moves in time.
It would be worse than useless in a swamp.
Pathetic! all of you!
Leonard, it's 2:00 in the morning.
So it's my turn.
Why did you set it for the day before yesterday?
Because I want to go back and keep myself
From getting a time machine.
You can't. if you were to prevent yourself
From buying it in the past,
You would not have it available in the present
To travel back and stop yourself