然后走他们的楼梯井
And use their stairwell.
你逗我玩呢 是吧?
You're joking, right?
跟头晕有关的东西我从不开玩笑
Oh, I never joke when it comes to vertigo.
该死 好吧 我去房顶看看
Damn. okay, I'll just take the roof.
如果你能等我们把时间机器都弄好了
Hey, if you wait for us to set up the time machine,
我可以把你送回到昨天上班时
I can drop you off at work yesterday.
时光旅行 开个玩笑...别介意
Time travel joke. it's not... never mind.
从它的用途来看 我觉得还是挺好笑的
For what it's worth, I thought it was humorous.
还是接着搬吧
Let's just do this.
兄弟们准备好推了没?
You guys ready to push?
马上
In a minute.
霍华德到外面去吐了
Howard stepped outside to throw up.
我不懂你到底在担心什么
I don't know what you were worried about.
我觉得他放在房间里肯定能行
I think it really works in the room.
是啊
Yeah.
这绝对是我拥有过的
It is by far the coolest thing
最酷的东西
I have ever owned.
那个载着演员罗德·泰勒
The exact time machine that carried actor rod taylor
从维多利亚时代的英格兰
From victorian england
到临近未来世界末日的时间机器
Into the post-apocalyptic future,
那个社会分裂成两个派系
Where society had splintered into the two factions
居住在地下的"莫洛克"
The subterranean morlocks, who survived by feasting
他们靠吃住在地表的"埃洛依"维生
On the flesh of the gentle surface-dwelling eloi.
真是性感的万人迷啊
Talk about your chick magnets.
是 没错
Oh, yeah.
那个住我旁隔壁的家伙总是
The guy who lives next to me is always like,
"我的阳台上有个水流按♥摩浴缸
"i have a jacuzzi on my balcony.
我的阳台上有个水流按♥摩浴缸"
I have a jacuzzi on my balcony."
可等着看我告诉他
But wait until I tell him,
"我的阳台上有一台时间机器
"i've got a time machine on my balcony.
把泳裤裹裹紧吧 按♥摩浴缸"
Stuff that in your speedo, jacuzzi bob."
先生们 我知道我们说好是轮流拥有它
Gentlemen, I know we said we'd take turns,
但我想你们会认同说
But I think you'll agree
实际上就意味着它是留在这儿的
That practicality dictates it remain here.
你不能就这么独吞了
You can't just keep it here.
假如我碰到个小妞然后跟她说
What if I meet a girl and say,
"你想上去看看我的时间机器吗
"you want to come up and see my time machine?
它在我朋友家里"
It's at my friends' house."
多丢人啊!
How lame is that?
-他说的对 -好吧
He's got a point. all right,
我觉得我们该订些基本原则
I think we're going to need some ground rules; in addition
除了"进时间机器禁止穿鞋"
To the expected "no shoes in the time machine,"
以及"时间机器内禁止饮食"
And "no eating in the time machine,"
我还建议"进时间机器
I propose we add "pants must be worn
必须要穿裤子'
At all times in the time machine."
赞成!
Seconded.
我还准备在里面放条毛巾呢
I was going to put down a towel.
我还是希望它能放在我的阳台上
I still want it on my balcony.
我说我们就两月轮一次(或一月轮两次)吧
I say we move it on a bi-monthly basis.
是啊 听上去挺公平
Yeah, that sounds fair.
等等 两月轮一次很模棱两可啊
Hold on, bi-monthly is an ambiguous term.
意思是每两月搬一次还是每个月搬两次?
Do you mean move it every other month or twice a month?
-一月两次 -那就不行
Twice a month. then no.
那好 两月一次
Okay, every other month.
还是不行
No.
谢尔顿 你不能这么自私!
Sheldon, you can't be selfish.
我们都付了钱 所以它是大家的
We all paid for it, so it belongs to all of us.
现在快让开 别挡着我进我的时间机器
Now get out of the way so I can sit in my time machine.
好的 我设置时间到1876年3月10日
Okay, I am setting the dials for march 10, 1876.
好主意 亚历山大·格雷厄姆·贝尔
Good choice, alexander graham bell
发明了电话并打给了沃森博士
Invents the telephone and calls out for dr. watson.
等等 我也想看看这个场面
Wait a minute. I'd want to see that, too.
轮到你的时候 随你想干嘛
So when it's your turn, you can.
不过如果我们都去同一个时间点
But if we all go back to the same point in time,
贝尔的实验室就太挤了
Bell's lab is going to get very crowded.
他就会知道有大事发生了
He'll know something's up.
而且时间机器不会进行空间上的位移
Also since the time machine doesn't move in space,
所以你会"降临"在1876年的帕萨迪纳
You'll end up in 1876 pasadena.
即使你降临在了波士顿 你又能干嘛呢
And even if you can make it to boston, what are you going to do?
敲贝尔的门跟贝尔夫人说
Knock on the door and say to mrs. bell,
"嘿 贝尔夫人 我是你老公的疯狂粉丝
"hey, mrs. bell. big fan of your husband.
我能进来参观他发明电话吗?"
Can I come in and watch him invent the telephone?"
贝尔夫人是个聋子
Mrs. bell was deaf.
她甚至不会听到你敲门
She's not even going to hear you knock.
我有个办法
I have a solution.
首先去到未来弄一个隐身装置
First, go into the future and obtain a cloaking device.
多远的未来?
Ooh, how far into the future?
如果我没记错的话
If I remember correctly,
柯克舰长会在星际纪年5027.3
Captain kirk will steal a cloaking device
从罗姆兰偷走一个隐身装置(出自"星际迷航"系列)
From the romulans on stardate 5027.3,
之后被'先锋联♥盟舰队'于2328年1月10日所截获
Which would be january 10, 2328 by pre-federation reckoning.
好吧 那我把时间设到2328年1月10日
Okay, I am setting the dials for january 10, 2328.
向未来 出发
Here we go into the future.
真有意思
That was fun.
轮到我了
My turn!
首先
Okay, first of all,
那段你声称仅三英尺宽的距离
What you call a gap was nearly three feet wide.
-让我滑倒摔伤了我的膝盖 -你还好吧?
I slipped and skinned my knee. are you okay?
其次 那扇通往旁边那幢楼的
Second of all, the door to the stairwell
楼梯井门是锁着的
Of the other building was locked,
所以我不得不从防火梯下楼
So I had to go down the fire escape,
可那只是到三楼的
Which ends on the third floor,
逼我只能从一个"可爱"的亚美尼亚家庭
Forcing me to crawl through the window
的窗户爬了进去
Of a lovely armenian family
他们还强留了我吃午饭
Who insisted I stay for lunch.
听起来还不坏嘛
That doesn't sound too bad.
那是整整八斤羔羊肉
It was eight courses of lamb,
他们还试图撮合我和他们的儿子
And they tried to fix me up with their son.
-对不起 -还没完呢
I'm sorry. not done.
等我终于好不容易
By the time I finally
赶到那里上班 他们已经把我的班给换了
Got to work, they'd given my shift away.
是啊 没错
Yeah, that's right.
我损失了一整天的工资 就因为这个
I lost an entire day's pay thanks to this.
-这个... -时间机器
This... time machine.
灯会一闪一闪 托盘还会转 你想不想试试?
The lights flash and the dish spins. you want to try it?
才不!
No!
我才不想试试!
I don't want to try it!
天哪 你们都已经是成年人了!
My god, you are grown men!
你们怎么能浪费生命
How can you waste your lives with these
整天弄这些蠢玩具和傻戏服
Stupid toys and costumes
还有漫画书还有...那个?!
And comic books and... and now that?!
-那个... -再次提醒 时间机器
That... again. time machine.
拜托 那才不是什么时间机器
Oh, please, it's not a time machine.
这顶多就是看上去像艾尔顿·约翰
If anything, it looks like something
驶过大沼泽地的代步工具
Elton john would drive through the everglades.
这个只能在时间上移动
It only moves in time.
这个在沼泽地里会比无用更无用
It would be worse than useless in a swamp.
可悲! 你们这群人!
Pathetic! all of you!
可悲到了极点!
Completely pathetic!
该我了
My turn.
里奥纳德 现在可是凌晨2点
Leonard, it's 2:00 in the morning.
怎么了
So?
该我了
So it's my turn.
你为什么把时间设在前天?
Why did you set it for the day before yesterday?
因为我想回到那天
Because I want to go back and keep myself
阻止自己买时间机器
From getting a time machine.
这做不到 如果你想在过去
You can't. if you were to prevent yourself
阻止自己买时间机器
From buying it in the past,
你就不可能现在拥有一台时间机器
You would not have it available in the present
然后利用它回到过去
To travel back and stop yourself