生活大爆炸第一季第十五集part3

The Big Bang Theory S01E15

.

2019年9月11日 07:21

胖一些的女人象征着美丽
Heavier women were the standard for
因为她们的腰身意味着富饶
Beauty because their girth suggested affluence.
很令人着迷但...
That's fascinating, but...
我没有说令人着迷我只是说值得注意
I didn't say it was fascinating. I said it was noteworthy.
好吧我注意到了
All right... noted.
我的意思是库萨帕里和沃尔维茨
But my point is that koothrappali and wolowitz,
他们在泡你的妹妹啊
They're hitting on your sister.
这简直...
Oh, it's...
没事啊
Oh, okay.
我不想评价你说话的修辞手法
You know, I don't want to criticize your rhetorical style,
但要是你能开门见山地说
But we'd be a lot further along in this
我们可能已经谈得很深了
Conversation if you'd begun with that thought.
-很好 -但是...
That's great, but my...
我要说的是我们拐了个不必要的弯
What I'm saying is that we took quite an Unnecessary detour
因为现在我发现这才是你的论点
from what I now understand to be your thesis.
又怎么了
Whatever.
你不能干坐着啊
You have to do something about it.
为什么
Why?
因为她是你妹妹
Because she's your sister.
我不明白
I don't understand.
不错我们共同在一个子♥宫里待过九个月
Yes, we shared a uterus for nine months,
但此后我们就你走阳关道我走独木桥了
But since then we've pretty much gone our own separate ways.
好吧那这么想吧...
Okay, uh, consider this...
你父亲去世之后
With your father gone,
确保米茜能选择一位合适的伴侣就是你的责任了
It is your responsibility to make sure that missy chooses a suitable mate.
我倒没想过这个
I hadn't considered that.
我们确实有相同的DNA
We do share dna. uh-huh.
所以有这种可能尽管可能性不大
So there is the possibility, however remote,
她的天赋可以创造另一个
That resting in her loins is the potential
像我这样不平凡的人
For another individual as remarkable as myself.
正是
Exactly.
并且你有责任替你自己和你子孙保留
And you owe it to yourself and to posterity to protect
你妹妹所传后代遗传基因的完整性
The genetic integrity of your sister's future offspring.
你说的对
You're right.
如果有人想接近米茜的输卵管
If someone wants to get at missy's fallopian tubes,
他们必须通过我
They'll have to go through me.
我是摧毁者西瓦(游戏"怒之铁拳"中的BOSS)
I am shiva the destroyer!
我会赢得这个女人
I will have the woman.
警告你我可是数学夏令营的柔道冠军
I'm warning you I was judo champion at math camp.
好了你们幼稚够了吧
All right, now that's enough juvenile squabbling.
给我停下
You stop it.
我说给我停下!
Stop it, I say!
我现在就来处理这件事
I'm going to settle this right now.
你们中的任何一个都配不上我妹妹
Neither of you are good enough for my sister.
你是谁凭什么你决定?
Who are you to decide that?
他是这个家的男人
He's the man of his family.
你们必须尊重他的意愿
You have to respect his wishes.
-顺便说一句你也出局了 -你说什么?
You're out, too, by the way. say what?
我不是针对你
It's nothing personal.
我只是更希望我将来的侄子或者侄女
I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew
不要成为那种每次吃到爱斯基摩派就会欢呼雀跃的人
Didn't become flatulent every time they ate an eskimo pie.
你高兴个什么劲儿
What are you so happy about?
我不是高兴
I'm not happy.
药起作用了我停不下来
It's the medication. I can't stop smiling.
里奥纳德让我意识到遗传基因的赌注有多大
That leonard's made me aware of how high the genetic stakes are,
我们必须面对现实
We have to face the fact that none
你们没有一个配得上我妹妹
Of you are suitable mates for my sister.
等一下
Wait a minute.
是里奥纳德让你意识到的?
Leonard made you aware of that?
我们都会犯错换个话题吧
We all make mistakes. let's move on.
插一句不过我认为你错失了一个良机
Excuse me, but I think you're missing a big opportunity here.
怎么说
How so?
每个人都知道基因多样化能创造出了不起的后代
Everybody knows genetic diversity produces the strongest offspring.
不如考虑在家庭的拿铁咖啡里放点穆哈调和一下
Why not put a little mocha in the family latte?
理论上你说的没错
In principle, you have a point.
但考虑到实际情况
But as a practical matter,
允许我提醒你一下你都需要实验性药品
Need I remind you that it takes experimental
才能让你更容易开口跟异性说话
Pharmaceuticals to simply enable you to speak to the opposite sex.
我觉得你把太多的焦点放在药物上了
I think you're focusing entirely too much on the drugs.
是不是因为我是个犹太人?
Is it 'cause I'm jewish?
要知道为了和你妹妹在一起我愿意用猪排杀了我的导师
'cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.
这和你的宗教信仰无关
This has nothing to do with religion.
只是因为你还是个小男孩
This has to do with the fact that you're a tiny,
一个仍和妈妈一起住的小男孩
Tiny man who still lives with his mother.
谢尔顿你真不讲道理
Sheldon, you are really being unreasonable.
是吗
Am i?
来吃了这片芝士能不放屁你就可以和我妹上床
Here, eat this cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.
噢真的吗
Oh, really?
靠
Oops.
谢利我可以和你说几句吗
Shelly, can I speak to you for a minute?
私下里
Alone.
为什么大家突然都想和我单独谈话
Why does everyone suddenly want to talk to me alone?
通常没有人喜欢和我单独相处的呀
Usually nobody wants to be alone with me.
我们都会犯错换一个话题吧
We all make mistakes. let's move on.
好吧我不想过问你为何为了区区芝士把我推销出去
Okay, I'm not even going to ask why you're pimping me out for cheese.
不过你何时开始关心我和谁上床了?
But since when do you care at all about who I sleep with?
说实话我从来没有考虑过
Well, truthfully, I've never given it any thought,
不过我后来意识到你身上带着潜在的DNA
But it has been pointed out to me that you carry dna of great potential.
你在说些什么鬼话
What on earth are you talking about?
让我解释一下
Let me explain.
你知道的我是个优秀的遗传变异产物
You see, I'm a superior genetic mutation, uh,
对现有的次品来说存在一个显著提高
An improvement on the existing mediocre stock.
你说的"次品"是什么意思?
And what do you mean, "mediocre stock"?
就是指你
That would be you.
不过在你身体里有一个潜在的我
But residing within you, is the potential for another me.
一个可能更高更聪明雀斑更少的谢尔顿2.0
Perhaps even taller, smarter, and less prone to freckling, a sheldon 2.0,
可以这么称呼
if you will.
"谢尔顿2.0"?
"sheldon 2.0"?
正是
Exactly.
现在
Now,
我不是说我要专横地决定你要和谁在一起
I am not saying that I should be the sole decider of who you mate with.
如果你不被追求者吸引
If you're not attracted to the suitor,
那怀孕的可能性就会减少
Then the likelihood of conception will be reduced.
你开什么玩笑
You have got to be kidding me.
完全没有
Not at all.
频繁性♥交会大大增加受精几率
Frequent coitus dramatically increases the odds of fertilization.
好了谢利坐下
Okay, shelly, sit down.
我花了一辈子时间去消化这一事实我的双胞胎哥哥
Now I've lived my whole life dealing with the fact that my twin
像妈妈所说是个"上帝赐予的特别的小孩"
Brother is, as mom puts it, "one of god's special, little people."
我一直认为我更像一只布谷鸟
I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird.
你知道的
You know,
一种把蛋放在普通鸟巢里的了不起的生物
A superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds.
当然先孵化出的布谷鸟会吃掉所有的食物
Of course, the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food,
留下其他普通的兄弟姐妹们饿死
Leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death.
你很幸运这就是我使用这比喻想要说的
Luckily for you, that's where the metaphor ended.
我还以为你是想说"布谷"
I thought it ended at "cuckoo."
你听好
You listen to me.
如果你想做一个关心妹妹的好哥哥
If you want to start acting like a brother who cares about me,
那太好了
Then terrific.
尽管来做
Bring it on.
但只要你有一次想告诉我该和谁上床
But you try one time to tell me who I should be sleeping with,
我就得跟你回顾回顾
And you and I are going to go round and
我们小时候的那种方式了
Round the way we did when we were little.
没忘吧?
Remember?
-我有另外个提议 -说
I have an alternate proposal. go on.
你捐出卵子
You donate eggs.
我们把它放去低温储藏
We will place them in cryogenic storage.
我会帮你的卵子找一个合格的精♥子
I will find an appropriate sperm donor for your eggs,
等他们完成受精后再植入你的体内
Have them fertilized and implanted in you.
这样对每个人都好
That way, everybody wins.