照你这么说 朋友就要无条件的保守秘密?
So you're saying that friendship contains within it an inherent obligation to maintain confidences?
是啊
Well,yeah.
有意思
Interesting.
再一个问题 或许应该这样问
One more question,and perhaps I should have led with this.
我们什么时候成朋友了?
When did we become friends?
也就是说 要不被总部守护先知选中 我就成不了绿灯侠(漫画人物)
i.e.,I couldn't become Green Lantern unless I was chosen by the Guardians of Oa,
但如果给我足够的启动资金和 足够的科研设备 我就能成为蝙蝠侠
but given enough start-up capital and an adequate research facility,I could be Batman.
- 你能成为蝙蝠侠? - 当然 我就是蝙蝠侠 看见没?
- You could be Batman? - Sure. I'm Batman. See?
- 嗨 伙计们 - 嗨 佩妮
- Hi,guys. - Hi,Penny.
佩妮 你周五晚上有空的话 我们去看电影吧
Penny,if you're not doing anything Friday night,I thought maybe we could go see a movie.
呃 我周五晚上要轮班
Oh,um,you know,I think I have the dinner shift on Friday.
好吧 周六呢?
Okay,what about Saturday?
说不准 经理还没公布排班表呢
You know,I'm not sure; the manager hasn't posted the schedule yet.
- 出来了 我再告诉你? - 很好
- How about I let you know? - Great.
那你知道了就告诉我 好的 那...
So you just let me know when you know. Okay,so...
天呐 我就是那条臭鱼
Oh,God,I am the bad fish.
我哪做错了?
What did I do wrong?
你为什么问我?
Why are you asking me?
你和佩妮的事儿 除了你已经告诉我的 我啥也不知道
I have no information about your interactions with Penny other than what you have provided me,
我也没有本事学到
nor do I have any method of learning such things.
- 这话什么意思? - 没什么
- What does that mean? - Nothing.
你说的倒像是 我和佩妮背地里通了气
You seem to be implying an informational back-channel
很明显 这是没有的事
between me and Penny where obviously none exists.
没 我没觉得
No,I didn't.
我想你要注意你的表达了 先生
I just think you need to be careful how you phrase things,sir.
你怎么回事?
What's going on with you?
这问题我也得问问你吧
I might ask you the same question.
那些跟我无关的事儿 你何必非要把我扯进去?
Why do you insist on attempting to drag me into matters which have nothing to do with me,
都是你和佩妮之间的事 我跟她连话都不怎么说的
but exist between you and Penny,a person to whom I barely speak?
你脸怎么了?
What's wrong with your face?
我脸这样 没啥原因
There's no reason to bring my looks into this.
- 祝你今天过的愉快 莱纳德- 什么?
- Good day,Leonard. - What
我说 "祝你今天过的愉快"
I said,"Good day."
过的愉快?
Good day?
今天还为您供应 新鲜的阿拉斯加大马哈鱼
Also today,we have a fresh-caught Alaska salmon,
配上烧汁和糯米饭
and that's served with a teriyaki glaze and sticky rice.
今天的汤是...
Our soup of the day is...
你必须将我从我的誓言中解放出来
You must release me from my oath.
谢尔顿 我在工作
Sheldon,I'm working.
你们花几分钟决定一下吧
Why don't you take a minute to decide?
我不能保守你的秘密了 佩妮
I can't keep your secret,Penny.
我就像构象空间里 基于能量的内源蛋白 要折叠起来了 (fold 也有失败的意思)
I'm going to fold like an energy-based de novo protein in conformational space.
就像是文艺复兴时期的三联画 (教堂祭坛上的饰物 两翼可向内折叠)
Like a Renaissance tryptich.
还有廉价的西装
Like a cheap suit.
你保守个小秘密 咋就这么难呢?
Look,why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret?
我天生就保守不住!
I'm constitutionally incapable.
所以我上次申请那项高端政♥府研究奖学金 证明开不出来
That's why I was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship
项目里的超级对撞机 位于密歇根州 特拉弗斯城东南12.5英里的
at a secret military supercollider located beneath a fake agricultural station
一个空设的农学院地下
12.5 miles southeast of Traverse City,Michigan.
我没告诉过你啊
Which you did not hear about from me.
你就别老记着我说过...
Look,just forget I told you about me...
社区大学没毕业 好吗?
not graduating from community college,okay?
别老记着? 这能忘得掉吗?
Forget? You want me to forget?
我这脑子 啥东西忘得掉啊!
This mind does not forget.
从我妈给我断奶后 我就没忘掉过一件事
I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
- 那天是周二 下着毛毛雨 - 好了...
- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...
你答应过我要保守秘密
Look,you promised me you would keep my secret,
那你就想个办法别漏嘴
so you're just gonna have to figure out a way to do it.
莱纳德我要搬出去
Leonard,I'm moving out.
什么叫"要搬出去"? 为什么?
What do you mean you're moving out? Why?
不一定非要有理由嘛
There doesn't have to be a reason.
是啊 总该有吧
Yeah,there kinda does.
不一定非得有
Not necessarily.
这是Munchausen三难推理的典型例子
This is a classic example of Munchausen's Trilemma.
要么就是 这个前提通过一系列 不断弱化的次前提 已经得到阐述
Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression,
要么就是 能从所谓偶然的公理陈述中 找到答案
or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements,
也有可能是终极循环
or it's ultimately circular,
也就是说 因为我要搬出去 所以我要搬出去
i.e.I'm moving out because I'm moving out.
我还是不懂
I'm still confused.
莱纳德我已经说得够明白的了
Leonard,I don't see how I could have made it any simpler.
嘿 伙计们 还好吗?(蹩脚法语)
Hey,qu'est que s'up?
我们刚去看了塑化人体标本展
We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized human cadavers.
那些个没皮的小妞儿 真是辣哟!
And some of those skinless chicks were Hot!
抱歉 我得去收拾了
If you'll excuse me,I'm going to pack.
他对我单纯的恋尸癖 反应还真大
That's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.
霍华德 不关你事 他说他要搬出去
It's not you,Howard. He says he's moving out.
你对他干了啥?
What did you do?
你改了电视机的对比度和亮度?
Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?
没啊
No.
你在他面前扒了创可贴?
Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?
没
No.
你买了三无番茄酱? 忘了洗水池?
Did you buy generic ketchup,forget to rinse the sink,
还是隔着厕所门同他讲话?
talk to him through the bathroom door?
调了恒温器? 煮菜放了芫荽叶? "t"那音总是忘了发?
Adjust the thermostat,cook with cilantro,pronounce the "t" in often?
没有
No.
你是不是拿火车开玩笑了?
Did you make fun of trains?
没有 我啥都没干 他疯了
No,I didn't do anything. He's just gone insane.
也是 这天迟早会来的
Well,we all knew this day was coming.
你动作还真快
Well,that was fast.
这是我早准备好的避难行囊
It's my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag.
国土安全部推荐的
It's recommended by the Department of Homeland Security.
还有莎拉·康纳 ("终结者"女主人公)
And Sarah Connor.
你打算住哪儿?
Where are you going to live?
在我找到寓所之前 我先在朋友家挤挤
Until I find a permanent place,I will stay with friends.
回见
Bye.
呃... 你不能住我那儿
Well... you can't stay with me.
我的公寓小得可怜
I have a teeny-tiny apartment.
广纳宾客不正是"向人致敬"的一部分吗?
Excuse me,but isn't hosting guests an aspect of "manushya yajna,"
"向人致敬"不是印度五大宗教戒规之一吗?
one of the five central religious duties or sacrifices of the Hindu householder?
我讨厌火车
I hate trains.
别开玩笑了 你可喜欢火车了
Don't be ridiculous,you love trains.
啊 没错 来吧
Yes,I do. Come on.
回见 莱纳德
See you later,Leonard.
还真管用
This could work.
这栋楼有年头了
This is a very old building.
造了六十年了 以前是手表厂
60 years. It used to be a watch factory.
怎么了?
What?
你不担心残留在发光表盘里的镭吗?
Don't you worry about the residual radium from the luminous dials?
你干嘛要提!
Not until now!
我竟然没带盖格计数器 (用于测量放射性物质)
I can't believe I didn't bring my Geiger counter.
就在床头 我居然没拿
I had it on my bed and I didn't pack it.
那么... 谢尔顿 要是你觉得住着不舒服
Well,if you're not comfortable staying here,Sheldon...
我开玩笑的 我带来了
I'm kidding,I packed it.
是个笑话
It was a joke.
我就是要破坏你的语境期待
I was subverting the conversational expectations.
那叫啥来着 "出其不意"
I believe they call that the,uh,ol' switcharoo.
好极了
Terrific.
那女的是艾维雅·瑞儿（印度当红影星）吗?
Is that woman Aishwarya Rai?
是的 她是个很棒的演员吧
Yes,isn't she an amazing actress?
我倒觉得她是可怜虫心中的玛杜瑞·迪克西特 (印度90年代知名影星 后结婚生子)
Actually,I'd say she's a poor man's Madhuri Dixit.
你敢再说一遍!
How dare you!
艾维雅·瑞儿是我的女神
Aishwarya Rai is a goddess.
相比之下 玛杜瑞·迪克西特 就是得麻风病的妓♥女
By comparison,Madhuri Dixit is a leprous prostitute.
对不起 我没想到会冒犯你
Sorry,I didn't mean to offend you.
显然你不了解印度电影
Obviously,you're not that familiar with Indian cinema.
谁啊?
Who is it?
脱衣舞娘来喽!
Stripper-Gram!
交给你了
Tag,you're It.
你就不能把他塞进牛皮纸袋里 烧了算了?
Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire?
我从来没睡过气垫床
I've never slept on an air mattress before.