莱尔德和莱斯利在家约会

史上最逊的文艺复兴集♥会
Worst. renaissance. fair. ever.
别再墨迹了 谢尔顿
Please let it go, sheldon.
还原历史的准确度也太低了
It was rife with historical inaccuracies.
举个例子 客栈的女服务生上给我们一大壶蜂蜜酒
For example, the tavern girl serving flagons of mead.
她的服装明显是日耳曼式的
Her costume was obviously germanic.
但在1487年 巴伐利亚纯酿法令
But in 1487, the bavarian purity laws,
或者叫"纯度法令"
Or "reinheitsgebot,"
严格限制了蜂蜜酒的可用性
Severely limited the availability of mead.
最多他们只能用一点调味酒
At best, they would have had some sort of spiced wine.
你真是太吹毛求疵了
You're nitpicking.
是吗
Oh, really?
那我就再来挑一下疵 那个酒壶
Well here is another nit for you.The flagons
在以前绝对不会是用聚丙烯做的
Would not have been made of polypropylene.
文艺复兴集♥会的重点不是历史准确度有多高
Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy.
重点在于把那些在金考公司上班的丰满女孩们带来
They're about taking chubby girls who work at kinko's
给她们系上紧身胸衣
And lacing them up in corsets so tight
好让她们的波波跳出来和我们说 您好
Their bosom jumps out and says, "howdy."
十五世纪的胸部不会说 您好
Bosoms would not have said "howdy" in the 15th century.
如果要说的话 也只能是 万岁
If anything, they would've said, "huzzah."
我才不管波波说什么 谢尔顿
I don't care what the bosoms say, sheldon.
只要它们在对我说话就好
I just want to be part of the conversation.
伙计们
Hi, guys.
好像你们刚才去文艺复兴集♥会了
Looks like you've been to the renaissance fair...
我希望是
I'm hoping.
文艺复兴集♥会吗
Renaissance fair?
更像是中世纪兼启蒙时代
More of a medieval, slash, age of enlightenment,
兼找借口穿遮阴布的集♥会
Slash, any-excuse- to-wear-a-codpiece fair.
好吧 随便你
Okay, fine, whatever.
伙计们 这是我的朋友 埃里克
You guys, this is my friend eric.
很高兴见到你
So, yeah, good to see you.
我也是
It's good to see you, too.
我们应该走了
We should probably go.
大家再见
Bye, guys.
我很喜欢你的帽子
I like your hat.
谢谢 是我妈做的
Thanks, my mom made it.
佩妮有了新男友 非常尴尬
Penny with a new guy, tres awkward.
没什么尴尬的
It wasn't awkward.
不过也不算好玩
It wasn't fun.
再说了 有什么关系
Besides, what's the big deal?
我们约会过 然后不约会了 事情已经过去了
We dated, we stopped dating, and now we're both moving on.
你说过去了的意思
By moving on,
是不是指当她和另外一个男人约会的时候
Do you mean she's going out with other men
你却整个下午都在
And you spent the afternoon
和沃罗威茨做十五世纪的肥皂
Making 15th-century soap with wolowitz?
那不是十五世纪的肥皂
That was not 15th century soap.
我的天呐 那些人必须得学学
My god, those people need to learn
不是在一样东西名字前加上"老"字[仿古字]
You can't just put "ye olde" in front of anything you want
就能冒充古老的东西了
And expect to get away with it.
我们快点进去好吗
Can we please just go in?
我的锁子甲被夹在内♥裤里了
My chain mail's stuck in my underwear.
你穿了现代的内♥裤
You're wearing modern underwear?
相对来说是现代的
Relatively modern.
干嘛 你穿了什么
Why, what are you wearing?
我严格遵守历史 准确无误地
I fashioned historically accurate undergarments
穿着亚麻布内衣
Out of linen.
你去买亚麻布了
You went out and bought linen?
别傻了 我只是借用了你的枕头套
Don't be silly-- I borrowed one of your pillowcases.
借用
Borrowed?
你们知道吗 我很高兴佩妮有了新发展
You know what,I'm happy that Penny's moving on.
这样我就可以自由前进了
It gives me the freedom to move on myself.
你的意思是你一直以来都在踌躇
Are you saying that you've been holding back?
当然
Of course.
出于对她的尊敬
Out of respect.
那么在佩妮之前的十年你怎么解释
So, how do you explain the ten years before penny?
那时候你在尊敬谁
Who were you respecting then?
我和很多女人约会过啊
Well, I've dated plenty of women.
有乔伊斯·金
There was joyce kim...
莱斯利·温克尔
Leslie winkle...
通知一下牛津词典的编者
Notify the editors of the oxford english dictionary.
"许多"这个词被重新定义为"二个"
The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."
去年那个在动漫展里的那个女孩呢
What about that girl last year at comic-con?
不算
Doesn't count.
为什么
Why not?
在动漫展服装扮演里发生的事情
What happens in costume at comic-con
只是动漫展的事情
Stays at comic-con.
你这样说
You're only saying that
只是因为你的那件事
Because of what happened to you.
什么事
What happened to you?
没什么
Nothing happened to me.
这不是你的错 拉吉
It wasn't your fault, raj.
他只是打扮成了绿色的猎户座女奴
He was dressed as a green orion slave girl.
怎么开始说我了
How did we get on me?!
我们不是在嘲笑莱纳德吗
We were mocking leonard for not moving on.
老兄 你完全是在原地踏步啊
Dude, you have totally not moved on.
不是这样的
Yes, I have.
现在我只需要
It's just a matter of actually making
-和别人出去约会而已 -谁
A date with someone. like who?
乔伊斯·金
Well... there's joyce kim.
但她已经叛逃回朝鲜了
But she defected back to north korea,
所以在地理上来说有点小困难
So that's a little geographically undesirable.
那莱斯利·温克尔呢
What about leslie winkle?
-不行 -为什么
Oh, no. why?
她的研究方法论漏洞百出
Her research methodology is sloppy,
她在说圈量子引力论的时候毫无道理的傲慢自大
She's unjustifiably arrogant about loop quantum gravity,
而且更糟的是 她对我很坏
And to make matters worse, she's often mean to me.
我觉得她很火♥辣
I think she's smoking hot.
同意
I'd hit that.
你觉得胶体悬浮系统上的
You'd hit particulate soil
微粒污垢也很火♥辣
In a colloidal suspension.
泥巴
Mud.
我喜欢莱斯利 但她对约会并不感兴趣
Look, I like leslie, but she's not interested
她只想使用男人的工具来缓解自己的压力
In dating as much as using men as tools for stress release.
那又如何 做她的工具好了
Yeah, so? be a tool.
你也可以给自己缓解一下"压力"
Go get yourself a little rebound "stress release."
严格来说 要是他和佩妮有过亲密接触的话
Technically, it would only be rebound if he and penny
那才能算是缓解压力
Had actually engaged in physical intimacy.
你是说像你和女奴理查德[男子名]那样吗
You mean like you and richard the slave girl?
我给他买了晚饭 然后亲了一下
I bought him dinner and we kissed once!
就结束了
That was it.
而且他告诉我他叫金伯利
And he told me his name was kimberly.
你知道我们如何知道我们不是在母体里的么[骇客帝国]
You know how I know we're not in the matrix?
如何
How?
如果我们是的话 这些食物就不会这么糟了
If we were, the food would be better.
嗨 莱纳德
Hey, Leonard.
嗨 莱斯利
Hey, Leslie.
嗨 傻蛋
Hey, dummy.
你好
Hello, to you...
你这个智商不够的人
Insufficiently intelligent person.
快把我送到烧伤病房[阿甘正传里台词]
Ooh, rush me to the burn unit.
莱纳德 你有空么
Hey, Leonard, do you have a second?
-我想问你几个问题 -当然
-I need to ask you something. -sure.
如果你不介意的话
Well, if you'll excuse me,
我要去做一些成绩斐然的工作
I'm going to go do work that promises
而不像你做的
Significant results, as opposed to what you do...
那些没有意义的
Which does not.
没错 就是说你呢
Yeah, you heard me.
我听说你和佩妮吹了
So, I heard your relationship with Penny crashed to the ground
就像从飞机厕所里扔出的蓝冰一样吹了
Like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.
这你是听谁说的
Where did you hear that?