哪次我开口说话都得举个讽刺的牌子吗
Do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
你有讽刺的牌子?
You have a sarcasm sign?
不 我没有讽刺的牌子
No,I do not have a sarcasm sign.
你想来点麦片吗 我觉得我今天情绪高涨
Do you want some cereal? I feel so good today,
我今天要选架子尾的低纤维
I'm gonna choose from the low-fiber end of the shelf.
好啊 honey puffs
Hello,honey puffs.
妈的
Son of a bitch!
潘妮起来了
Penny's up.
你们这些怪物混♥蛋
You sick geeky bastards!
她怎么知道是我们干的?
How did she know it was us?
我可能不小心留下了
I may have left a suggested organizational schematic
如何整理卧室衣柜的建议图解
For her bedroom closet.
里奥纳德
leonard
天那 这下要糟了
God,this is gonna be bad.
再见 honey puffs 好啊 big bran
Good-bye,honey puffs. hello,big bran.
昨晚在我睡觉的时候你们溜进我的公寓了?
You came into my apartment last night while I was sleeping?!
是的 只是为了打扫
Yes,but only to clean.
准确的说是整理 你那里其实不太脏
Really more to organize. you're not actually dirty,per se.
把钥匙还给我
Give me back my key.
我非常抱歉
I'm very,very sorry.
你知道这有多么的恐怖吗
Do you understand how creepy this is?
是的 我们昨晚讨论了好久
Oh,yes,we discussed it at length last night.
在我的房间 在我睡觉的时候
In my apartment,while I was sleeping?!
还有打呼 可能是有点鼻窦感染
And snoring. and that's probably just a sinus infection.
但也有可能是睡眠呼吸暂停综合症
But it could be sleep apnea.
你可能需要看一下耳鼻喉科医师
You might want to see an otolaryngologist.
喉科医生
A throat doctor.
哪种医生能把鞋从屁♥股上取下来
And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?
那要取决于深度
Depending on the depth,
要么是...直肠科医师
That's either a... proctologist
要么是外科医生
Or a general surgeon.
讽刺
sacasm
天啊
god
潘妮 我认为你现在的感觉非常正常
penny I think what you're feeling
也许等你没这么感觉...
Is perfectly valid and maybe a little bit later
因为没别的词了 被侵犯
When you're feeling a little less... for lack of a better word--violated,
我们可以好好谈一下
Maybe we can talk about this some more.
-离我远点 -好的 那是另一个办法
-stay away from me. -sure,that's another way to go.
潘妮 潘妮 等等
Penny,penny! hold on
先声明
Just to clarify,
因为你走后我们肯定会讨论
Because there will be a discussion when you leave,
你是只对我们在你睡觉的时候
Is your objection solely to our presence
进入你的房间反感呢
In the apartment while you were sleeping,
还是你对我们强加的整理体系也感到反感?
Or do you also object to the imposition of a new organizational paradigm.
那可真有点呆若木鸡啊
Well,that was a little non-responsive.
你现在马上把自己送过去道歉
You are going to march yourself over there right now and apologize.
有什么好笑的
What's funny?
那不是讽刺吗
That wasn't sarcasm?
不是
No
天啊 你今天真是一塌糊涂
Boy,you are all over the place this morning.
我有一个硕士两个博士 我不应该做这个
I have a master's and two ph.d.s,I should not have to do this.
干吗
What?!
我为昨晚的事感到非常抱歉
I am truly sorry for what happened last night.
责任全在我
I take full responsibility.
我希望这不会影响你对里奥纳德的看法
And I hope that it won't color your opinion of leonard,
他不仅是个非常好的人而且我还听说
Who is not only a wonderful guy,but also,I hear,
是个非常完美的情人
A gentle and thorough lover.
我能做的都做了
I did what I could.
嘿 拉杰
Hey,raj.
嘿
Hey,listen.
我不知道你听说昨晚里奥纳德和谢尔顿干的事了没有
I don't know if you heard about what happened last night.
但是我感到非常气愤
But I'm really upset about it.
他们不请自入的进了我的房间
I mean,they just... they let themselves into my place
然后他们把房子打扫了一遍 你相信吗
And then they cleaned it. can you even believe that?
太诡异了
How weird is that?
她离我好近
She's standing very close to me.
她闻起来真香
Oh,my,she does smell good.
是什么 香草味的吗
What is that,vanilla?
在我们那
You know,where I come from,
如果有人晚上闯入你的家 你可以开枪 知道吗
If someone comes into your house at night,you shoot. okay?
不仅仅是打伤
And you don't shoot to wound.
我妹妹对她老公开了次枪
I mean,all right,my sister shot her husband,
但是那是次意外 他们都喝醉了
But it was an accident,they were drunk.
我在说什么来着
Wait,what was I saying?
她可真罗嗦啊
She's so chatty.
也许我父母是对的 我应该找个印度女孩
maybe my parents are right. Maybe I'd be better off with an indian girl.
我们有相同的文化背景
We'd have the same cultural background
我老婆就可以给我孩子唱
And my wife could sing to my children the same lullabies my mother sang
我妈妈经常给我唱的那首摇篮曲
To me.
虽然他们是好意 但是我...
It's obvious that they meant well,but...
我现在过的很不好 我说过我和我男朋友分手了
I'm having a really rough time. like i said I broke up with my boyfriend
我有点乱了阵脚
And...
虽然我认识的大部分男人都是混♥蛋
i mean Just because most of the men I've known in my life happen to be jerks,
并不意味着里奥纳德和谢尔顿也是
Doesn't mean I should just assume leonard and sheldon are.
是吧
Right?
她问了我个问题 我或许应该点头
She asked me a question. I should probably nod.
我也是这么想的
That's exactly what I thought.
谢谢你的倾听 你太可爱了
Thank you for listening. you're a doll.
转动胯部
Turn your pelvis.
拿张餐巾吧 兄弟 你刚被伺候了
Grab a napkin,homie. you just got served.
算了 你赢了
It's fine.you win.
他怎么了
What's his problem?
他的假想女朋友和他分手了
His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him.
经历过
Been there.
抱歉我现在才来
Hello. Sorry I'm late,
但是我在走廊里和潘妮聊天来着
But I was in the hallway,chatting up penny.
真的假的 你拉杰·库萨帕里和潘妮说话了?
Really? you,rajesh koothrappali,spoke to penny?
实际上我说的比哑巴还少
Actually,I was less the chatter than the chat-ee.
她说什么了 她还生我的气吗
What did she say? is she still mad at me?
刚开始她是很生气
Well,she was upset at first,
可能是因为她姐姐用枪射了某个人
But probably because her sister shot somebody.
然后好象说了点关于你的事
But then there was something about you,
然后她抱了下我
And then she hugged me.
她抱你了? 她怎么抱你的?
She hugged you? how'd she hug you?
那个香水是她身上的吗
Is that her perfume I smell?
非常醉人 是不是
Intoxicating,isn't it?
好啊
Hi.
你在干吗
What's going on?
是这样的
Here's the thing.
潘妮 就象奥本海默
"penny,just as oppenheimer came to regret his contributions
后悔发明了原子弹一样
"to the first atomic bomb,
我也后悔了我的加入
"so too I regret my participation in what was,
至少是次错误的判断
"at the very least,an error in judgment.
一个伟大的实验的标志就是
"the hallmark of the great human experiment
敢于承认自己犯下的错误
"is the willingness to recognize one's mistakes.
有些错误 象居里夫人发现了镭
"some mistakes,such as madam curie's discovery of radium,
后来被证明有很大的科学研究价值
"turned out to have great scientific potential,
尽管她后来死于
"even though she would later die a slow,
漫长而痛苦的放射线危害
Painful death "from radiation poisoning.
还有另一个例子 埃博拉研究...
Another example,from the field of ebola research..."
里奥纳德 我们之间没事了
Leonard,we're okay.
-六个两寸的木钉 -有
-six two inch dowels. -check.
-一盒十字螺丝钉 -有
-one package phillips head screws. -check.
各位 我是在农场长大的
You guys,seriously,I grew up on a farm,okay?
我12岁的时候自己装起来了个拖拉机发动机
I rebuilt a tractor engine when I was,like,12.
我想我能装个廉价的瑞典电视柜
I think I can put together a cheap,swedish media center.
还是我们来 这是我们唯一能做的 鉴于...
No,please. we insist. it's the least we can do,considering.
鉴于什么
Considering what?
这个地方看起来有多么漂亮?
How great this place looks?
-我就担心这个 -怎么了
-oh,boy. I was afraid of this. -what?