我是说火星漫步者 火星漫步者
Kind of a Mars Rover... Mars Rover
呼叫霍华德
can Howard come over...
的状况
situation.
我朋友莱纳德会带你回家的
So my friend Leonard is gonna take you home.
走吧 好朋友莱纳德
Oh, okay. Let's go, friend Leonard.
回头打电话给你
I'll call ya.
你也是像霍华德一样的科学家么?
Yeah. So are you a scientist like Howard?
没有科学家像霍华德那样
No one's a scientist like Howard.
我妈肯定会很喜欢她
My mother is so gonna love her.
多好啊 没准她们可以一起搭车
How nice. Maybe they can carpool
去联邦监狱看你
when they visit you in federal prison.
对不起 打断你的话了
I'm sorry. I totally interrupted you.
啊? 我们刚才说到哪了?
What, what, what were you saying?
说霍华德是个非常好的人
Just said Howard's a terrific guy.
他很有幽默感
He's got a great sense of humor.
他很爱他的妈妈
He loves his mother...
非常
a lot.
大家都说爱得有点过了
People say "too much."
你真是个忠实的好朋友
I really like that you're such a loyal friend.
没错
Yeah, I am loyal.
如果从全局来看的话
You know, if you look at the big picture.
仅仅是出于好奇
Out of curiosity,
他有很吸引你么?
did he ever have a shot with you?
你疯了么
Are you insane?
他带着个眼罩
The guy was wearing an eye patch.
那你为什么...
Then why did you...?
他说我可以在火星上开车
He said that I cou drive a car on Mars.
哦了
Got it.
我以后还能再见你吗
So, can I see you again?
你这就见不到我了 闭眼
You're not gonna see me now.
不错
Cool.
有什么发现么
Anything?
事实上我在查邮件
Actually, I was just checking my e-mail.
不过漫步者没有消息返回
But, uh, no, the Rover is not responding.
我有个很恰当的比喻
I believe the appropriate metaphor here
一艘没有推进设备的
involves a river of excrement
美国土著的轮船
and a Native American water vessel
驶进了便便河
without any means of propulsion.
拜托
Hang on.
肯定会有办法的
There's got to be other options.
你可以给美国汽车协会打电话
You could try calling Triple-A.
不过根据美国国家航空航天管理局最近的日程安排
But based on NASA's latest timetable,
他们35年后才会到那
they won't get there for 35 years.
而且他们到的时候
Plus I understand you have to be standing
你必须在现场 带着你的会员卡
next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive.
惨咯
Oh, snap.
按什么? [snap也有按钮的意思]
Snap what?
好吧 看来我们得进行B计划了
Okay, I guess we have to turn to Plan B.
什么是B计划
What's Plan B?
格式化所有硬盘 清除监控录像
Erase all the hard drives, scrap the surveillance tapes,
擦掉我们留下的所有指纹后逃跑
wipe our fingerprints off every surface and run.
为什么这不是A计划
Why wasn'that Plan A?
美国国家航空航天管理局发言人指出由于数据的损失
A NASA spokesman states that due to the loss of data,
他们可能无法找出火星漫步者 发生故障的原因
they will most likely be unable to determine the cause of the Mars Rover's malfunction.
人类对于火星的探索 这种令人失望的结果
This is not the first time an exploratory mission to Mars
已经不是第一次了
has ended in disappointment.
幸亏我们选了B计划
Thank God for Plan B.
霍华德 你不是说过你在研究火星漫步者么
Howard, didn't you say you worked on the Mars Rover?
没有 你搞错了
No, you're mistaken.
我第一次见你那天 你说如果我和你约会
Yeah, when we first met, you said that if I went out with you,
我就能在火星上开车
I could drive a car on Mars.
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
大家不好意思
Will you all excuse me?
莱纳德正悄悄给我打手势
Leonard is subtly signaling
示意我要和我私下谈谈
that he'd like to talk to me in private.
不会啊 我记得很清楚
No. Yeah, I remember specifically.
你最开始问我是不是从火星来的
You started by asking if I was from Mars
理由是我的屁♥股真的很翘
because my ass was out of this world.
是挺像我的风格 不过不是
Well, that does sound like me, but no.
有问题灭
Is there some problem?
对
Yeah.
我得出去一小会
Listen, I have to kinda sneak out for a while.
好吧 拜拜
All right, good-bye.
等下
No, wait!
如果有人问你我去哪了 你就说不知道
If anyone asks you where I went, you don't know.
你要去哪
Where ARE you going?
我不能告诉你
I can't tell you that.
谁会问我
Who would ask me?
那个我也不能说
I can't tell you that, either.
你叫我进来通知我
So you brought me in here to inform me
你不能告诉我你去哪
that you can't tell me where you're going
也不能告诉我谁会问起你去哪儿
and you can't tell me who might ask?
是的 是我考虑不周到
Yeah, I really didn't think this through.
莱纳德 等下
Leonard, a moment.
怎么了
What?
如有人...当然 还不确定是谁
If someone-- and of course, we don't know who this would be--
问你去哪了 我该怎么回答
does ask where you've gone, what should I say?
我不知道 就说我去办公室了
I don't know. Just tell 'em I went to the office.
-你要去办公室 -不
Are you going to the office? No.
那我怎么能理直气壮地说
Then how can I say it convincingly?
就说"莱纳德去办公室了"
Just say, "Leonard went to the office."
好的 莱纳德去办公室了
All right. Leonard went to the office.
那是... 不 不是这样
What is...? No, not like that!
就说"莱纳德去办公室了"
Just, "Leonard went to the office."
你要只告诉我你要去办公室
This would have worked out a lot better
就好办多了
if you'd just told me you were going to the office.
我要去办公室了
I'm going to the office.
看到没 为什么我不信你
See? Why don't I believe you?
我要出去会
I'm going out for a while.
好的
Okay.
没人想知道他去哪了吗
Doesn't anyone want to know where he's going?
好的 他去哪了
Okay, where is he going?
莱纳德去办公室了
Leonard is going to the office.
今天工作如何
So how was work today?
忙碌
Busy.
切除了个阑尾 胆囊
I removed an appendix, a gall bladder
还有一尺半的肠子
and about a foot and a half of bowel.
希望是三个不同的老兄
I'm hoping that's three different guys.
不是 就一个人
No, just the one.
他没活下来
He didn't make it.
你今天过得怎么样
So, how was your day?
我是个物理学家 所以...
Oh, you know, I'm a physicist, so...
我思考
I thought about stuff.
就这些
That's it?
其中的一些我记下来了
Well, I wrote some of it down.
吃饱了吗
Are you done eating?
-饱了 -很好
Uh, yeah. Oh, good.
早知道你在等着
If I knew you were waiting,
面条不嚼我就咽了
I would've swallowed that lasagna whole.
斯蒂芬妮·巴奈特医生家
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
请留言
Leave a message.
斯蒂芬妮
Hey, Steph,
又是我 霍华德
it's me again, Howard.
如你周五有空
Listen, if you're free Friday,
可来我家吃点东西
maybe we could have a little something to eat at my place.
我妈做的牛腩特别好吃
My mom cooks a hell of a brisket.
通知我
Let me know.
我是霍华德
It's Howard.
我吃过她做的牛腩 入口即化
I've had her brisket. Melts in your mouth.
或许我们该去卧室
Maybe we should think about going to the bedroom.