I've been doing some research online,
and apparently female primates,
猿 黑猩猩 你们
You know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you.
They find their mate more desirable
When he's being courted by another female.
Now, This effect is intensified when the rival female
Is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation.
Which brings me back to my question.
Where are you in your--
Clearly, I'm 14 days too early.
All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria,
Why can't they do something about lactose intolerance?
Leonard, you're going to have to let this go.
You had a little cheese dip, you farted.
I thought it was cute.
Oh, hi, stephanie.
Wanna more wine?
Yeah, I'm not driving anywhere tonight.
What are you doing?
I have a craving for white asparagus
That apparently is destined to go unsatisfied.
What the hell is wrong with you?
I'm helping you with stephanie.
By making constipated moose sounds?
When I fail to open this jar and you succeed,
It will establish you as the "alpha" male.
When a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination,
She produces the hormone oxytocin.
If the two of you then engage in intercourse,
This will create the biochemical reaction in the brain
Which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love."
Would it work if I just punched you in the face?
Yes, actually it would, but let's see how the lid goes.
莱纳德 我不够强壮 还是你来吧
I'm not strong enough, leonard, you'll have to do it.
Oh, for god's sakes.
Go ahead, it's pre-loosened.
Do you want some help with that?
不要 不要 我能搞定
No, no, no, I got it.
没错 没错 他能搞定 这不足为奇
No, yeah, yeah, he's got it, and that's not surprising.
This is something I long ago came to
Peace with in my role as the beta male.
-天呢 你还好吗 -我不好
- Oh, my god, are you okay? - no, I'm not.
Like a gladiator!
Oh, honey, you're going to need stitches.
Stitches? with a needle?
Well, yeah, I mean, just a few.
Oh, okay, yeah, hang on a sec.
Fyi, I was defrosting a steak in there.
What a beautiful job stephanie did.
I might have gone with a mattress suture
instead of a blanket stitch,
But you can't argue with her results.
It's a shame it won't scar.
The war wound is a time-honored badge of masculinity.
I can't remember a time when you weren't talking.
Just for the record,
My efforts to establish you as the alpha
Male were not aided by you bursting into tears.
I did not burst into tears, my eyes just got a little watery.
She stuck a needle into my hand!
Hey, how's my big cry baby?
I didn't cry.
Okay, I'm just teasing you.
But, yeah, you did.
Okay, it's all good.
What do you say we get you home and put you to bed?
Oh, are you still going to spend the night?
Uh, no, I think that you probably need to rest.
She's right. as long as you're vomiting,
coitus is contra-indicated.
Thank you, dr. cooper.
You're welcome, dr. hofstadter.
Okay, I'm going to go get your discharge papers.
Well, you seem like a perfectly pleasant person.
I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you.
Hey, can you open this for me?
Can I see your stitches?
Answering the question once and for all
Why wolowitz bailed out of medical school.
Your facebook status update.
Leonard hofstadter is "in a relationship."
什么 不对 这不对
What? no. no, that's not right.
伙计 在她更新前 你就更新你的了
Oh, man, did you switch your status before she did?
Speaking as an expert, way to look needy.
You went first, after only two weeks?
It's not bold, it's a mistake.
I didn't change my status.
Well, then who did?
I had no choice. he cried in front of her.
You hacked my facebook account?
Oh, it's hardly hacking
when you use the same password for everything,
Are you insane?
Now she's going to think I'm desperate.
You've destroyed this relationship!
And you want to know what the worst part is?
You don't even understand what you did wrong because you
Can't conceive of something that you are not an expert in!
In which I am not an expert.
I don't want to hear another word out of you.
怎么了 莱西 蒂米掉到井里了吗[《灵犬莱西》里情节]
What's wrong, lassie? timmy fall down the well?
She just updated her facebook status.
"stephanie barnett is in a relationship
with leonard hofstadter."
Oh, look at that.
I have a girlfriend.
If I am permitted to speak again,
dr. sheldon cooper for the win.