圣诞节礼物

你的论点完全缺乏科学价值
Your argument is lacking in all scientific merit.
这很明确 超人通过飞入"黄日"核武器 清理他的衣服
It is well established superman cleans his uniform by flying into Earth's yellow sun,
由此能清除所有污染物
which incinerates any contaminate matter
从而留下安全的氪星布料 既无损坏又完全清洁
and leaves the invulnerable kryptonian fabric unharmed and daisy fresh.
要是他弄了点氪星的物质在上面呢
What if he gets something Kryptonian on it?
例如
Like what?
我不知道 氪星的芥末
I don't know. Kryptonian mustard.
我觉得我们完全能认为氪星爆炸时
I think we can safely assume that all Kryptonian condiments
已将所有氪星的调味品都摧毁了
were destroyed when the planet Krypton exploded.
又或者它变成了芥末氪星石
Or it turned into mustard Kryptonite,
唯一能摧毁 威胁地球的邪恶氪星热狗
the only way to destroy a rogue Kryptonian hotdog threatening Earth.
拉杰 拜托
Raj, please,
严肃点 超人的身体是氪星的 因此他的汗水也是氪星的
let's stay serious here. Superman's body is Kryptonian, therefore his sweat is Kryptonian.
对 要是沾到氪星汗渍呢
Yeah, what about Kryptonian pit stains?
超人在地球不会出汗
Superman doesn't sweat on Earth.
好啊 他应邀去肯朵的波特城赴晚餐
Okay, he's invited for dinner in the Bottle City of Kandor.
他把自己变小 进入该城 在那里 他失去了超能力
He miniaturizes himself, enters the city where he loses his superpowers. Now,
晚餐前 主人说 玩一会氪星绳球如何
before dinner, his host says, "Who's up for a little Kryptonian tetherball?"
超人说 可以啊 玩得大汗淋漓 回到地球
Superman says "Sure," works up a sweat, comes back to Earth,
他的衣服已经沾了无法去除的氪星汗渍
his uniform now stained with indestructible Kryptonian perspiration.
将死你
Boo ya.
超人能在离开波特前
Superman would have taken his uniform
把衣服放到肯朵的干洗机清洗
to a Kandorian dry cleaner before he left the Bottle.
肯朵的干洗机 我放弃
"Kandorian dry cl..." I give up.
你们完全没法跟这人理论
You can't have a rational argument with this man.
那不是去年赢得 麦克亚瑟天才奖的家伙吗
isn't that the guy who won the MacArthur genius grant last year?
不 别一次全部人看
No, not all at once.
那怎么看
Then how?
莱纳德先看
Leonard.
现在轮到拉杰
Now, Raj.
现在轮到谢尔顿
Now, Sheldon.
我没看清 能再看一遍吗
I didn't get a good look. Can I go again?
不行
No.
是戴维·安德希尔 那又怎么样
It's David Underhill. So what?
怎么样
So what?
他对高能正点子的观察报告
His observation of high-energy positrons
首次确切证明了
has provided the first conclusive evidence
银河暗物质的存在
for the existence of galactic dark matter.
我只给你两个词
I have two words for you.
一个是"太" 一个是"好了"
The first is "big," the other's "whoop."
确实是很好
It is a big whoop.
这几乎颠覆了
It made almost all the work
所有你在这里做的工作成果
you've done since you've been here completely useless.
-才怪 -才怪
Did not. Did, too.
才
Did...
好吧 有部分吧 但是
Okay, maybe some of it, but...
这小子只是在天时地利的时候
Look, the guy was just in the right place,
利用范式方法重新解释了银河系
at the right time with the right paradigm-shifting
纯粹是狗屎运
reinterpretation of the universe. He got lucky.
不仅如此
In more ways than one.
他长得很帅呢
He's a very handsome man.
对我没什么影响 如果换成我
Doesn't do anything for me. If I was gonna go that way,
我会更像扎克·埃夫隆那种类型
I'm more of a Zac Ephron kinda guy.
对 要是你能有那么一点像他
Oh, yeah, like you have a shot with Zac Ephron.
打扰一下
Excuse me...
你是莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德吗
Are you Leonard Hofstadter?
是的
Uh... yeah.
我是戴维·安德希尔
I'm David Underhill.
好的
Uh... y-yeah.
盖博豪斯博士说
Yeah, Dr. Gablehauser said if I wanted
如果我要在光电倍增实验室准备试验
to set something up in the photomultiplier lab,
你能帮我忙
that you'd be able to give me a hand?
你要和我一起做实验
You want to work with me? Well,
你要是有时间的话 是的
if you have a little time, yeah.
哇 当然有
Wow.... Y-yeah, sure.
没问题
Yeah, no problem. Uh...
这是我的住宅电话
Here's my home number.
我的手机号码
Here's my cell.
办公室电话
Here's my office.
还有住在新泽西的父母家的电话
Here's my parents' number up in New Jersey.
他们总能找到我
They always know how to reach me. So... Okay.
对了 恭喜你获得麦克亚瑟天才奖 我很崇拜你
Congratulations on the MacArthur Grant, by the way. Big fan.
谢谢 我会打电话给你
Thanks. I'll call you.
好的
Okay.
拜拜
Bye-bye!
看什么看
What are you looking at?
没见过伪君子啊
You've never seen a hypocrite before?
遥遥落后 沃罗威茨需要投出全倒
Trailing badly, Wolowitz needs a strike
才有希望追上谢尔顿·库珀
if he has any hopes of catching up with Sheldon Cooper,
他在第九个计分格时占尽优势 最高记录68
who is dominating in the ninth frame with a career-best 68.
好啊 伙计们
Hey, guys!
那个不算
That doesn't count.
重来 重来
Do over! Do over!
Wii保龄球游戏里可是投球无回的
There are no do-overs in Wii bowling.
我的朋友做运动时总会有重来的
There are always do-overs when my people play sports.
有什么比Wii保龄球之夜 还重要的
Where were you that's more important than Wii bowling night?
其实 我
Actually, I was...
这是反问句 没什么能比 Wii保龄球之夜重要
It's a rhetorical question. There is nothing more important than Wii bowling night.
得了吧 不就是个电子游戏嘛
Come on, it's just a video game.
而且我们玩得很逊
And we suck at it.
很好的队长动员演说嘛
Nice motivational speech from the team captain.
你去哪了?
Where were you?
我去戴维·安德希尔那了
I was working with Dave Underhill.
哦 "戴维" 听起来莱纳德有了新的"好朋友"
Ooh, "Dave." Sounds like Leonard's got a new BFF.
事实上 他真的很酷
Actually, he's pretty cool.
不仅仅因为他是个天才
I mean, not only is he a brilliant scientist,
他还是个黑钻[户外运动品牌]滑雪高手
but it turns out he's a Black Diamond skier.
他收集老式摩托车 他还在一个摇滚乐队里演奏呢
He collects vintage motorcycles. He plays in a rock band.
怎样? 我们也是一个乐队啊
So? We're in a rock band.
不
No...
我们是在X-Box里面
We play Rock Band on our X-Box.
感谢主音吉他手激动人心的致辞
Nice motivational speech from our lead guitarist.
他还很幽默
He's funny, too.
他还绘声绘色的模仿了
He does this hysterical impersonation
史蒂芬·霍金的电话性♥爱
of Stephen Hawking having phone sex.
你穿着什么呢
What are you wearing?
还是他演得比较像
That's not... He does it better.
总之 他说明天他要带我去体育馆
Anyway, he said he was gonna take me to the gym tomorrow,
我先回屋练练仰卧起坐的
so I'm gonna go practice my situps.
排山倒海的男性吸引
Whoa. Humongous man crush, dude.
兄弟情的完美演绎
Yeah. It's officially a bro-mance.
嘿 谢尔顿 你和莱纳德要不要弄棵圣诞树?
Hey, Sheldon, are you and Leonard putting up a Christmas tree?
不 我们不庆祝
No, because we don't celebrate
古老的异教农神节
the ancient pagan festival of Saturnalia.
农神节?
Saturnalia?
孩子们 过来坐好了
Gather round, kids,
又到谢尔顿最爱的圣诞特别节目时间了
it's time for Sheldon's beloved Christmas special.
在基督教出现之前的那些岁月
In the pre-Christian era,
每当冬至来临大地枯萎
as the winter solstice approached and the plants died,
异教徒把常青的枝杈带回家中
pagans brought evergreen boughs into their homes
用这种形式来表示
as an act of sympathetic magic, intended
保护生命的本质直到春来再次到来
to guard the life essences of the plants until spring.
这种风俗后来
This custom was later appropriated
被北欧人继承 于是演变成了
by Northern Europeans and eventually it becomes
现在的圣诞树
the so-called Christmas tree.
那么查理·布朗 你看到什么叫做无聊了吧
And that, Charlie Brown, is what boredom is all about.
好吧 谢谢
Okay, well, thank you
不过我给你和莱纳德
for that, but I got you and Leonard
买了点蠢蠢的小礼物
a few silly neighbor gifts, so I'll just