生活大爆炸 第二季第十一集part3
The Big Bang Theory S02E11
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2019年9月12日 07:47
不好意思 就这个
I'm sorry. Uh... this one.
我们走
Let's go!
我没有足够的数据进行分析
I have insufficient data to proceed.
不好意思小姐
Excuse me, miss?
什么事
Yes?
如果我送给你这个礼物篮
If I were to give you this gift basket,
根据这个行为本身 如果没有其他数据
based on that action alone and no other data,
请推断并描述我们之间的 假定关系
infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
不好意思
Excuse me?
这里
Here.
我们是朋友么
Now, are we friends?
同事还是情人
Colleagues? Lovers?
你是我的祖母么
Are you my grandmother?
我不明白你在说什么
I don't understand what you're talking about
不过你让我觉得有点不爽
and you're making me a little uncomfortable.
看到没 就像你和佩妮
See? Sounds just like you and Penny.
我们就要这个了
We'll take it.
莱纳德 过来一块儿坐
Hey, Leonard. Come, join us.
哦 嘿 戴维
Oh, hey, Dave.
还有佩妮 你也在这
And Penny, what a surprise.
嘿 莱纳德
Hey, Leonard.
戴维刚刚带我在校园里逛了逛
Dave was just showing me around the university.
你知道么 这个地方真是妙不可言
You know, this place is unbelievable!
我当然知道 这一年半我一直说要带你来看看
Yeah, I know. I've been offering to show you around for a year and a half.
你总是说你要去练瑜伽
You always said you had yoga.
从没说过
I never said that.
可能我听错了
Maybe I heard you wrong.
有很多词听起来像瑜伽
A lot of words sound like "yoga."
莱纳德 这真是一个很奇妙的女人
This is an amazing woman, Leonard.
她的思想敏捷而又有求知欲
She has a curious and agile mind,
更不用提她其他敏捷而奇特的方面了
not to mention being curious and agile in other respects.
别说了
Oh, shut up!
没错 闭嘴吧
Yes, please shut up.
那么 戴维
So, um, Dave,
我们是不是该回实验室干活了?
don't you think you and I should get back to the lab?
你知道 暗物质是不会去自己发现自己的
You know, that dark matter isn't going to detect itself.
我正想下午请个假
Actually, I was thinking about taking the afternoon off
然后和佩妮做个别的"实验"
so I could work on another experiment with Penny.
我们去做实验?
Really? We're going to do an experiment?
我们去试试龙舌兰酒
Uh-huh. We're going to explore the effects of tequila shots
在一个22岁尤物身上会有什么作用
on a gorgeous 22-year-old woman.
那不是实验
It's not an experiment!
再说你昨晚也见到会发生什么了
You saw what happened last night.
走么? 好
You ready to go? Yeah.
噢 我能骑摩托车吗
Oh, can I drive the motorcycle?
可以啊 有什么不行的
Yeah, why not?
你肯定不会比莱纳德开得还糟的
You can't do any worse than Leonard.
真有趣啊
That's funny.
顺便说一句 我的腿疼死了
By the way, my leg is killing me.
谢谢关心
Thanks for asking.
大新闻 莱纳德
Mmm, great news, Leonard.
我已经解决了送佩妮礼物的两难困境了
I've solved my Penny gift dilemma.
我好高兴哦
Yippee.
你想啊 我可能会送得过于好或过于寒碜
You see, the danger was that I might under or over-reciprocate,
但我已经想出了一个很简单的点子
but I have devised a foolproof plan.
我会先打开她给我的礼物
See, I will open her gift to me first
接着借故离开
and then excuse myself,
假装消化不良
feigning digestive distress.
然后我会上网查她送的礼物的价格
Then I'll look up the price of her gift online,
从篮子里选一样价格最接近的东西 送给她
choose the basket closest to that value, give it to her
最后我把剩下来的以全价退回去
and then I'll return the others for a full refund.
真聪明啊
Brilliant.
的确如此
It is, isn't it?
我可以把这些东西♥藏在你房间里吗
Is it okay if I hide them in your room?
这气味让我想吐
The smell makes me nauseated.
随便你怎么弄啦
Do whatever you want.
谢谢 你真是太高尚了
Thank you, that's very gracious.
先生们
Gentlemen.
你为什么不做莱纳德才做的事情
Why couldn't you have just done what Leonard did
给佩妮介绍个男朋友
and get Penny a new boyfriend?
我的腿疼死了
My leg is killing me.
谢谢关心
Thanks for asking.
我只有一个问题想问你
Okay, I have just one question for you.
当我很开心的和你在一起的时候
While I am perfectly happy with the way things are between us,
你说你不想和我约会
you said that you didn't want
只是因为我对你来说太聪明了
to go out with me because I was too smart for you!
那好吧 新闻来了 女士
Well, news flash, lady
戴维·安德希尔比我聪明十倍
David Underhill is ten times smarter than me!
对我来说 你得把一个道钉钉进
You'd have to drive a railroad spike into his brain
他脑子里 我才能在国际跳棋中打败他
for me to beat him at checkers!
和他相比
Next to him,
我比较像那些打手语的大猩猩之一
I'm like one of those sign-language gorillas
只知道怎么要葡萄
who knows how to ask for grapes!
所以 我的问题是...
So, my question is...
我聪明又怎么了啊
What's up with that?!
你干嘛对我大吼大叫啊
Why are you yelling at me?
对不起 对不起 对不起
Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
别介意 我们没事了
Never mind, we're cool.
戴维并没有你聪明
Dave is not smarter than you.
他是个白♥痴
He's an idiot.
真的吗 你为什么这么说啊
Really? Why would you say that?
因为聪明的人会把他老婆的裸照从手机里删了
Because a smart guy takes the nude photos of his wife
在他打算把他女朋友的裸照 存进手机之前
off his cell phone before he tries to take nude photos of his girlfriend.
他打算给你拍裸照吗
He tried to take nude photos of you?
你就听到了这个
That's what you took from that?!
这家伙已经结婚了
The guy is married!
噢 是的
Oh, yeah.
对不起 那真是太糟糕了
I'm so-- Oh, that's terrible.
而你 如果你和我约会的时候
And you, if you are so okay
是很开心的
with the way things are between us,
你干嘛这么嫉妒啊
why are you so jealous?
恩...
Well, uh...
重要的是他已经结婚了 而且这太糟糕了
The important thing is he's married and that's terrible!
球救得好啊 天才啊
Nice save, genius.
蛋酒要吗
Eggnog?
我不能吃乳糖
Lactose.
里面只有朗姆酒
It's just rum.
在半小时前里面就已经不是蛋酒了
It stopped being eggnog like half an hour ago.
很好喝啊smooth.
比你更味美啊smoother than you.
拜托 现在是圣诞节 就这么对我啊
Come on, it's Christmas, just give me this one.
好吧 圣诞快乐
Okay, Merry Christmas.
顺便提一句 我的腿疼死了
By the way, my leg is killing me.
谢谢关心
Thanks for asking.
-圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
你的腿怎么样了
How's your leg?
很好 谢谢关心 进来吧
Very good, thanks for asking. Come on in.
哦 真棒 佩妮 你来和我交换礼物了
Ah, good, Penny, you're here to exchange gifts.
当你知道无论你送什么
You'll be pleased to know
我都有相应的准备着 你会很高兴的
I'm prepared for whatever you have to offer.
好的 给你
Okay, here.
我要声明一下 我现在有些消化不良
I should note I'm having some digestive distress,
所以 如果我突然离开一下 不要惊异哦
so, if I excuse myself abruptly, don't be alarmed.
噢 一条餐巾
Oh, a napkin.
把它翻过来
Turn it over.
送给谢尔顿
"To Sheldon,
多福多寿
"live long and prosper.
莱纳德·尼莫哀致[《星际迷航》中演员]
Leonard Nimoy."
是的 他来饭馆
Yeah, he came into the restaurant.
很抱歉餐巾脏了 他用它擦过嘴了
Sorry the napkin's dirty. He wiped his mouth with it.
我有莱纳德·尼莫哀的DNA了
I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy?!
对啊...
Well...
是 是的 我想是这样的
Yeah, yeah. I guess.
但是 看哪 他还在上面签名了
But look, he signed it.
你难道没有意识到这意味着什么吗
Do you realize what this means?!
我只需要一颗健康的卵子
All I need is a healthy ovum
我就可以培育出我的莱纳德·尼莫哀了
and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!
好吧 我给你的只是餐巾而已 谢尔顿
Okay, all I'm giving you is the napkin, Sheldon.
我马上回来
Be right back.
给你的 打开吧
Here. Open it.
噢 一份摩托车课程的及格证书
Oh, a gift cerficate for motorcycle lessons.
真会体贴人啊
Very thoughtful.
是啊 而且我查过了
Yeah, and I checked.
第一课就是不会让你再从车上摔下来
Not letting the bike fall on you
而且是车还在原地没动的时候
while standing still is lesson one.
噢 那么 我想你看到我送你的东西 你会很感动的
Oh, then, I think you'll appreciate what I got you.
好的
Okay.
献给孩子们的最酷的101个科学实验
"101 Totally Cool Science Experiments for Kids."
你知道吗 因为你如此迷恋科学
You know, 'cause you're so into science.
谢尔顿 你干了什么啊
Sheldon! What did you do?!
我知道
I know!
这些还不够 对吗
It's not enough, is it?
还有这个
Here.
莱纳德 看哪 谢尔顿在抱我呢
Leonard, look! Sheldon's hugging me.
这是农神节的奇迹啊
It's a Saturnalia miracle.
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