Gentlemen,I put it to you:
the worst tapioca pudding is better than the best pudding of any other flavor.
首先 明眼人都知道这话错的 因为最好的布丁是巧克力口味
First off,that is axiomatically wrong because the best pudding is chocolate.
其次 西米的有机结构使布丁 黏糊糊摇晃晃 有潜在致命危险
Secondly,the organic structure of tapioca makes it a jiggling bowl of potential death.
It is extracted from the plant...
Hey,I'm thinking of growing a mustache.
傅满洲那样的? 八字胡 又尖又长?
Fu Manchu,a handlebar,pencil?
- 是从植物中提取 - 还没想好呢
- It's extracted from the plant. - I'm not sure yet.
You know,George Clooney has one now.
Really? I once saw him shopping at Ralph's. He was buying tequila.
You'd think a guy like that would have some kind of booze lackey.
All right,this is cruel.
We'd better let him finish before his head explodes.
好吧 谢尔顿 为啥西...
All right,Sheldon,why is tap...
Tapioca is extracted from the root of the plant manihot esculenta!
Due to a high concentration of cyanide,
it is poisonous in its raw form and lethal if prepared improperly!
Feel better now?
同时可可豆也是巴西的 从中能提取巧克力 做最好的布丁
It is also indigenous to Brazil as is the coa bean,from which we get chocolate,the best pudding.
And you promised you wouldn't do that anymore!
Heard about your latest anti-proton decay experiment.
20,000 data runs and no statistically significant results.
What a jerk.
别气馁 莱纳德 没用的结果也是结果
Don't feel bad,Leonard. Negative results are still results.
- 就算两万又算啥 - 行啦!
- Even 20,000 of them. - All right!
Please don't cheer me up anymore.
别呀 不要让他打击到你 Kripke哪根葱
Come on. Don't let him get to you. It's Kripke.
Yeah,he's a ginormous knob.
That's why he eats by himself instead of sitting here at the cool table.
确实啊 Kripke确实缺乏 咱固有的那种基本社交技巧
It's true Kripke lacks the basic social skills that we take for granted.
But he also controls the new open science grid computer
that I need to use to run some simulations of structure formation in the early universe.
Well,good luck getting time on it.
The only people he lets use it are his friends.
Well,then,the solution is simple.
I shall befriend him.
What would you say to the idea of you and I becoming friends?
I would say I have no interest in becoming your friend.
That seems rather shortsighted coming from someone who is generally considered altogether unlikable.
Why don't you take some time to reconsider?
Yeah,I'll do that.
Well,I think we're off to a terrific start.
There you go.
Now any e-mail from Wolowitz will go right into your spam folder.
多谢 其实骚扰邮件倒没啥 他穿浴衣的度假照比较雷人
Thanks. I mean,the e-mail doesn't bother me as much as the vacation pictures of him in a bathing suit.
是呀 我也收到了 那可不是浴衣 是晒痕
Yeah,I got the same one,and that's not a bathing suit. It's a tan line.
Hello,this is Sheldon Cooper.
I am leaving a message for Barry Kripke.
Barry,it was pleasant seeing you today in the cafeteria.
I saw that you purchased the chef's salad.
显然 你不知道推荐沙拉是 食堂的杂碎肉骗人把戏
Apparently,you did not know that the chef's salad is kitchen trickery to utilize scrap meat.
Nevertheless,I hope you enjoyed it.
I'm following up on our pending friendship and I look forward to hearing from you regarding its status.
What's up with Ichabod?
Uh,he's trying to make a new friend.
Oh,really? Well,good for him.
Well,unless he makes one out of wood like Geppetto,I don't think it's gonna happen.
How did you guys become friends?
There was a flyer on the bulletin board at the university:
"Roommate wanted.Whistlers need not apply."
And you moved in anyway?
I assumed he was joking.
You'd be surprised how many particle physicists have a whimsical side.
What about Howard and Raj? I mean,how did he become friends with them?
I don't know. How do carbon atoms form a benzene ring?
Proximity and valence electrons.
Well,sure,when you put it that way.
But it all worked out,right?
I suppose. I do miss whistling,though.
Oh,come on. Really?
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
Penny? Penny? Penny?
This is for you.
What is this?
It's a questionnaire I devised.
I'm having some difficulty bonding with a colleague at work
所以我想做些小调查 更好的了解 为什么我目前的朋友们喜欢我
so I'm doing a little research to better understand why my current friends like me.
Yes,well,that is a good question.
But is this really the best way to figure it out?
I agree. The social sciences are largely hokum.
But short of putting electrodes in your brain and monitoring your response to my companionship,
this is the best I can do.
好 "问题1: 按吸引力程度给 谢尔顿·库珀以下各方面排序
Okay,"Question one: "Rank the following aspects of Sheldon Cooper "in order of appeal:"
聪明 洁癖 有趣 Java程序编写?"
Intelligence;ruthless attention to hygiene;playfulness; JAVA applet writing"?
I know,I may have started out with a fairly obvious one;
an aspect of my most appealing trait: playfulness.
Why don't you just go ahead and rank that number one?
I'm afraid you're on your own for the rest.
It should take you no more than three hours.
Well,wait. How many questions are on this thing?
别担心 为了照顾你 这份高中毕业就能读懂
Don't worry. In deference to you,I kept them all at a high school graduate reading level.
You got it... buddy.
谢尔顿 亲爱的 你有没有考虑过 通过让人开心来交友啊?
Sheldon,honey,did you ever consider making friends by being,I don't know,pleasant?
Well,that's certainly a thought-provoking hypothesis.
May I suggest it as the topic for your essay?
Your questionnaire,very disappointing.
I answered every question,Sheldon.
You answered the multiple choice questions in a pattern:
A B B A C A B B A C
A- B-A-C.A- B-A-C.
Oh,you picked up on that,huh?
How could I not?
Come on. There's over 200 questions.
And look at some of these things.
"Sheldon is to camaraderie as the space shuttle is to blank?"
There are a number of acceptable answers.
For example,Near-Earth transport."
But certainly not Avocado rancher."
And your essay suggesting that I'd have better luck making friends if I wait till the Cylons take over?
Now hold on. I put some real work into that.
Yes,well,it's better than what Wolowitz did.
He drew a raccoon with what appears to be a distended scrotum.
It's kinda cute.
Until you get to the scrotum.
What hope do I have for establishing new relationships given that
my current friends apparently could not take a few hours out of their lives to help me?
Sheldon,I'm not going to defend a big-balled raccoon.