I always have a pen,
It's not for me. It's for you.
Don't try to talk to him. Don't apologize.
Don't do that thing where you sow hate
and it blooms into love.
Nobody wants that right now.
- 彼得也许会 - 你跟他说过话吗
- Peter might. - Have you been talking to him?
- 你们平时有联络吗 - 没有
- Do you guys talk somehow? - No.
Nothing. Never mind.
Did he tell you about a song we did together?
Don't squeeze it, don't squash it,
contain, or kibosh it!
What about closure?
That's what I'm trying to give you.
This is something you should have signed a long time ago.
There are 16 years of magic in this envelope.
Don't romanticize the envelope.
We should have a ceremony, don't you think?
Commemorate the end of our relationship
the way we commemorated the beginning of it?
I'm not inviting 150 people and 11 puppets
to a sit-down dinner to watch us get a divorce.
How do we tell the Dalai Lama?
He has his own problems,
like China, for instance.
I'm just gonna read it over.
Why? It's already agreed to.
I know. I know.
Get it over with.
I'm not arguing with you. I just...
You are arguing with me.
I just want to make sure we're doing our due diligence.
We already did our due diligence.
We paid the lawyer so much money for due diligence.
Did do our due diligence, though?
I don't know.
Jeff, I'm so confused.
"Begin by closing your eyes
and seeing the moment in time you'd like to return to."
Now surround yourself with the past.
Maybe put them on his bed.
"That was the easy part.
This trick, if you can call it a trick,
is incredibly difficult to pull off.
It all depends on one thing."
What's the one thing?
Fucking shit tits.
Yikes, you think he found my stash?
How'd you know this door was here?
Whenever I go into a new home,
I always search for the smallest door.
Every house has an elf that lives in its walls
and controls the heat, air-conditioning,
and karmic flow.
I was cold, so I figured,
find the smallest door,
find the elf, leave a token of friendship,
adjust the humidity.
Dude. Fuck your Icelandic parents.
He gets time travel,
but I can't have my fucking sprites and wall nymphs?
This house and my house are identical.
So if there's a little door
in the back of this closet...
Sorry I'm here so early.
Not a problem. I'll let them know.
I wanted to make sure we cleared out
all the Play-With-Me Pickles before he got here.
My niece's first grade teacher
saw me give her a prototype.
I almost got arrested.
I love his web-connected doll idea.
It's like Willy Wonka reaching through your television.
I agree; I think it's the future
of letting someone else raise your kid.
Sally said you were in here.
- 他们说你不会来 - 我没有 我不在这儿
- They said you weren't coming. - I'm not. I'm not here.
I never was. Listen.
I've changed my mind about the dick with shoes.
I think that's the one we go with.
The team's pretty ecstatic about the Listen-To-Me Pickles.
It's ludicrously unsafe
to give Jeff that kind of unfettered reach.
Dad, it would be dishonest to say
I can't hear and see you.
You need to let go.
You need to think this through, Jeff.
What if a child calls you on that thing
and threatens to kill themselves?
Then I'll be there to help.
What if a parent calls
and wants to kill you?
Your Christmas speech knocked us off the air.
A toy like this will knock us off the shelves.
Then what are we?
Double-tapped in the sternum
and triple-fucked in the face.
We're gonna be back on the air soon.
节目不会重新回归了 杰夫 相信我
The show's never coming back on the air, Jeff, believe me.
I've made the calls.
It's cold out there now that people think you have opinions.
Deirdre's gonna get it done.
Deirdre glues felt
to other felt.
She's not leading anyone to Jerusalem.
Then why put her in charge?
She's not in charge.
She thinks she's in charge.
As long as I'm alive,
I'm in charge.
Jeff, this is my one job.
This is all I have.
And you can't make me exit stage left pursued by a bear.
Do you remember...
when I was a child...
and I shot you in the face?
Where are you going with that?
You should retire.