开玩笑第二季第三集

Kidding S02E03

Part4

2020年6月1日 15:53

我在听你说
I'm listening to you.
你做了个什么
What are you making?
一个会倾听的玩偶
It's a doll that listens to people.
它要怎么倾听
How does it listen?
通过放在你房♥间的麦克风
Through a microphone in your room.
咀嚼怪先生是一个很棒的倾听者
Mr. Chompers is a good listener.
谁是食人咀嚼怪
Who's Mr. Chompers?
他怎么会有牙
Why does he have teeth?
咀嚼怪先生会替我嚼肉
Mr. Chompers pre-chews my meat.
你的玩偶会替你嚼肉吗
Will your doll pre-chew meat?
他们对我的要求太多了
There's too much being asked of me.
我做不到他们要求我的事
I can't do these things they're asking me to do.
他们是谁
Who's they?
她跟胶水出问题了
She has a glue problem.
你能去楼上吗
Could you head upstairs?
还有拜托别把你的斧子在地上拖
And please stop dragging your ax on the floor.
我喜欢这样发出的声音
I like the sound it makes.
我做不到杰夫
I can't, Jeff.
我做不到
I can't.
我做不到
I can't.
我不相信自己
I don't trust myself,
作为一个单亲妈妈
not as a single mom
还有作为打理这个节目的人来说
and not as someone running the show.
我连自己家都打理不好
I can't even run a household.
我怎么可能打理得了一家公♥司♥
How can I possibly run a corporation?
我什么都做不好我不知道怎么做
I can't do anything. I don't know how.
不是这样的
That's not true.
你在伯利兹创办了一家孤儿院呢
You built an orphanage in Belize.
根本没什么孤儿院我是个骗子
There's no orphanage. I'm a liar.
那你每个圣诞节都一直给谁寄支票
Then who have you been writing checks to every Christmas?
我自己
Me!
给我自己很多钱去度假美黑啊
Me, myself, my tan.
而如今我只剩6周去建所学校
And now I have six weeks to build a school,
不然我就得给些傻♥逼♥慈善机构
or I have to write a $600,000 check
写张60万的支票来摆脱国税局对我的死缠烂打
to some stupid charity so the IRS won't pummel me!
我对你有十足的信心
I have total faith.
你会重振《木偶时间》的
You're gonna put Puppet Time back on the air.
不是爸爸是你
Not Dad. You.
我根本不喜欢这个节目
I don't even like the show.
太老套了
It's stale,
而且你的裤子不合身
and your pants don't fit,
音乐也远远不够
and there's not nearly enough music,
还有你的发型你的发型
and your hair, your hair...
我不喜欢你的发型
I don't like your hair!
从未喜欢过
I never have!
拜托别让我掌管公♥司♥
Please don't put me in charge.
我不值得你信任我连自己都不信任自己
You can't trust me. I can't even trust me.
胶水的问题
Glue problem.
我才没有胶水的问题
I do not have a glue problem!
该死的
God... damn it!
很抱歉我不喜欢你的发型
I'm sorry for not liking your hair.
我比任何人都更相信你
I trust you more than anyone.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
我本以为会想念长头发的自己的可我不想
I thought I'd miss him, but I don't.
我会重新让节目上播的
I'm going to get the show back on the air.
我知道你会
I know you are.
需要帮忙吗
Can I help you?
詹姆斯
James!
你好啊
Hello?
你帽子是紫色的
Your hat is purple.
我喜欢紫色
I love the color purple.
- 你是 - 不好意思
- Are you... - Sorry.
我得走了
I have to go now.
我在包圣诞礼物
I'm wrapping a Christmas present.
圣诞节是两周前了
Christmas was two weeks ago.
我知道
I know.
再见紫帽子
Good-bye, purple hat.
我很抱歉
My sorrys!
你还记得我吗
Do you remember me?
你哥哥他遭到了枪击
Your brother, he got shot.
- 很遗憾 - 没有他是被撞
- My sorrys. - No, he got hit by...
你相信时光可以倒流吗
Do you believe you could turn back time?
我不相信人可以逆转时间
I do not believe one can turn back time.
那很荒谬
That's absurd.
过去不会与过去重叠的
The past cannot sit on top of the past.
记忆也不可能存在于另一段记忆中
A memory cannot live inside a memory.
按相同的逻辑我的确认为
But by the same logic, I do think
也许去往未来会更容易一些
it's probably easier to travel forwards in time,
未来一切都是崭新的没有东西会不断往复
where everything is new and nothing is recycled.
就像我这一生都在想着
Like, my whole life, I've been thinking
拿驾照
about having my license,
然后有一天我总归是会拿到驾照的
and then one day, I'm just going to have my license.
你懂吗
You know?
想进去吗
Wanna come in?
想待在车上吗
Wanna stay here?
你说我会听的
You talk. I'll listen.
我会认真听
I'll really listen.
走开丑八怪
Move it, shit face!
去你的小鸡鸡
Fuck you, midget dick!
你在吗皮克尔斯先生
Hello? Mr. Pickles?
你好啊朱迪
Hi, Judy.
是我
It's me.
真的是你吗腌黄瓜先生
Is it really you, Mr. Pickles?
真的是我朱迪
It's really me, Judy.
你在哪
Where are you?
我就在这
I'm right here.
我每天都会在这陪着你
And I'll be here for you every day,
你醒来的早晨会在
in the morning when you wake up
你入睡的夜晚也会
and at night when you go to sleep.
不管你在世界上的哪个角落
No matter where you are in the world,
不管你身处何地
no matter what roof you're under,
我都会在这陪伴着你
I'll be with you.
谢谢我现在要去睡觉了
Thanks. I'm going to go to sleep now.
等我醒来再见
But I'll see you when I wake up.
晚安晚安晚安
* Good night, good night, good night
听我说
致威尔
数学之神
数学魔法与神秘论
作者特里尔·T.C
书名数学之神
世界上最伟大的魔法
如何逆转时间
它完全取决于一个东西意志
心亲爱的匿名捐献者：感谢你这份带来光明的礼物。我们的儿子，詹姆斯，双眼天生患有彼得氏异常症，
从未有过清晰视力。随着他长大，视力也日益恶化，几近失明。
肾
眼角膜
眼角膜
数学之神
数学魔法与神秘论
四个月后
寄件人：杰夫·皮尔克斯
收件人：朱迪
美国
听我说
腌黄瓜玩偶
和腌黄瓜先生说任何时间
听腌黄瓜先生说任何地点
寄件人：杰夫
收件人：大P
小宇航员
月亮泡泡雪糕
月亮笑得如此灿烂
* The moon smiles down so bright
夜空中的星星
* The evening star
在远处闪耀着
* That shines from far
散发着闪烁的光芒
* Now blinks its twinkling light
睡觉时间快到了
* The time for sleep is near
退休快乐
Happy retirement!
空气如此安静清新
* The air is calm and clear
夜空
* The evening sky
月亮和我
* The moon and I
一直会在这里
* Will always be right here