Previously on Kidding...
Don't do drugs!
We're gonna build Listen-To-Me Pickles.
I should go talk to Peter.
I don't think your wife wants that to happen,
but he wants to talk to you though.
I learned English from watching your show.
His name is Josip Butkevich.
He's some Croatian voice actor.
I have to write a $600,000 check
so the IRS won't pummel me.
You're gonna put Puppet Time back on the air.
Not Dad. You.
* Jack and Jill went up the hill
* To fetch a pail of water
* Jack fell down and broke his crown
* And Jill came tumbling after
speaking native language
We need friends...
Friends to laugh with,
friends to share with,
friends to play with,
friends to learn with.
We need friends because friends help us grow.
Friends help us grow?
True friends do.
True friend do.
But what's a true friend, Mr. Pickles?
* A friend is someone that could tell you
- 特别是当果冻 - 出现在你的脸颊上的时候
- When there's jelly... - On your face.
A friend is someone you can tell any...
* When you need someone to talk to
* You can always depend on a friend
* A true friend
* A friend is someone you call on the phone
* To be by your side when you're feeling alone
* A friend is someone who will care for you so
* When you feel a little broken, they can make you feel whole
* When the day feels lonely, you can always depend
* On a friend, a true...
Hello from Ohio.
It's almost time to have supper where you live,
Serbia and Croatia.
What are you having?
I'm having a song for dinner. A supper song.
Do you think I sound like him?
* A friend is someone you can call on the phone
* To be by your side when you're feeling alone
* A friend is someone who will care for your soul
* When you feel broken, they'll make you feel whole
Let's call it even.
This is Josip Butkevich.
You may remember me from my puppet-based erotica website.
I'm sorry your animated series did not work out,
and I hope that things are better with your father.
I know you won't respond to this,
but if you ever need a friend, you have one
on the border between Serbia and Croatia.
所以 腌黄瓜先生 咱们来谈谈这个新玩偶吧
So, Mr. Pickles, let's talk about this new doll.
It's kind of like Alexa, but instead of a computer,
there's a middle-aged man listening on the other end.
Children deserve to be heard. I chose to listen.
要知道 很抱歉 但作为一个母亲
You know, I-sorry, but as a mother,
and also the first celebrity Barbie...
But I just have to say that it's kind of surprising to me
that parents are okay with this.
They don't seem to mind giving their children smartphones
with access to pornography and livestream school shootings.
Listen-To-Me Pickles was meant to be an antidote to all that,
a way to bypass the depravity of social media,
to give children the attention they crave and so deserve.
You had a show on air for 30 years,
and... now it's not.
How is that affecting you?
I miss seeing my friends,
Snagglehorse and Ennui Le Triste.
Uke-Larry and Astronotter.
But I created a world
where children could see me and I couldn't see them.
Now I've created a way for us to really connect
and talk to each other.
I have more friends now than I've ever had.
Well, Mr. Pickles, you're gonna have 200 more friends to talk to
because everyone in our studio audience
is getting a free Listen-To-Me Pickles doll!
杰夫 你朋友并不多 对吧
Jeff, you don't have a lot of friends, do you?
Oh, I have millions of them in terms of Pickle pals.
And I have my sister.
And the children I speak to
over an internet-connected doll.
So... no, I guess I don't.
要知道 康复过程中 重要的一个环节
You know, an important part of recovery
is just having somebody to talk to.
How's your pain at the incision point?
Ah... a lot.
- 吃了止痛药还疼吗 - 我没吃那些
- Even with the oxycodone? - I haven't been taking those.
Are you experiencing side effects?
I believe opiates are overprescribed
and highly addictive.
They've robbed children of their parents
and parents of their children.
I don't wanna be a part of that.
But Jeff, you're gonna feel a lot of pain.
Isn't there some kind of alternative?
没有什么不致瘾 有机 纯天然的东西吗
Something non-addictive, organic, all-natural?
I believe I can accommodate that.
I'm gonna prescribe you medical marijuana.
You wanna go to lunch sometime?
So how long you in Seattle?
- 在去纽约之前都待在这 - 纽约有什么
- Till I go to New York. - What's in New York?
I'd write you a check right now if it meant we could stream
the last 30 years of Puppet Time on our service.
It's the new stuff I'm uncomfortable
putting Amazon's name on.
I will buy the archives.
I told your dad I would.
But I'm not putting you back on the air.
You're worried about Jeff having a filter.
Right now, he doesn't have a filter,
and he's broadcasting every day
through a network of talking dolls
because what the fuck?
And who buys the dolls? The parents.
And what website are they buying them on?
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