开玩笑第二季第四集

Kidding S02E04

Part3

2020年6月1日 15:53

她高调拒绝了提名选择了我
one she famously declined, the other was me.
她演的是哪个雄的还是雌的
Which one was she dressed as? Victor or Victoria?
合格的绅士才不会告诉你呢
A gentleman never tells.
你们俩在干吗
What are you two doing?
喝大♥麻♥茶
Drinking weed.
可以
Cool.
别忘了吃药
Don't forget to take these.
不然你的肝恐怕要从屁♥眼♥里漏出来了
They're so your liver doesn't fall out of your ass.
享受你们的茶叶吧
Enjoy whatever this is.
嘿
Hey.
喜欢我的发型吗
Do you like my haircut?
回头见了小煎饼
Later, Pancake.
我喜欢你的发型
I like your haircut.
你为什么叫她小煎饼
Why do you call her "Pancake"?
因为我们第一次约会的时候
'Cause on our first date,
我们就是吃的煎饼
we had pancakes.
我怎么喝了这茶什么感觉也没有
I'm not feeling anything from this tea.
我没觉得很嗨但我想出了个好主意
I don't think I'm high, but I have an idea.
我们要找出这个城市里最高的建筑
We find the tallest building in the city.
坐电梯直到顶层
We ride the elevator all the way to the top.
如果电梯够快
And if the elevator is fast enough,
我们脑部的血液就能冲到鸡♥巴♥上
it should push the blood from our brains to our penises,
就能治好我们的勃起障碍了
solving our erectile disorders.
你还说你没嗨
No, you're high.
明天调解的时候见了
See you tomorrow at the mediation.
别说得这么兴奋
Don't sound so excited.
我没兴奋啊
Well, I'm not excited.
等你取消那个亚马逊订单然后我拿到一半钱的时候
I'll be excited when you close that Amazon deal
我才会兴奋
and I get half of it.
等我能拿到一半你藏起来
I'll be excited about getting half the cash
也不捐给慈善的钱的时候我才会兴奋
you squirreled away instead of giving it to charity.
但这个调解才不会让我兴奋
But I'm not excited about the mediation itself.
我只觉得无聊
That sounds boring.
你不问问我为什么穿燕尾服吗
Aren't you gonna ask why I'm in a tuxedo?
我都没注意到
I didn't notice.
今晚的获奖者
Tonight's honoree
是我帮助儿童这42年以来
is one of the most selfless individuals I have met
见过的最为无私的人
in my 42 years helping children.
她慷慨的捐赠高达近百万
Her generous donation of nearly $1 million...
这些资金将直接捐赠给专注于
Will go directly to a new program
拯救哥伦布最生命垂危的年轻人的项目
focused on Columbus' most at-risk youth.
迪尔德丽的孩子不放弃任何一个孩子
Deirdre's Kids: No child left behind.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
欢迎哥伦布年度慈善家
Columbus' Philanthropist of the Year,
迪尔德丽·皮奇里洛
Deirdre Piccirillo.
我一生致力于
I've devoted my life...
帮助那些没有权势的人说出心声
To giving a voice to the voiceless,
帮助无助者渡过难关
a hand to the handless,
希望
hope...
你怎么不给我鼓掌
Why didn't you clap for me?
真的吗不说话吗
Really? Nothing?
我刚拿了个奖
I just won an award
一群贫困的孩子也拿到了学习电脑
and a bunch of poor kids got Chromebooks.
没有任何表示吗
Nothing? Nada?
我以为你只是想逃避逃税的罪名
I thought you were just avoiding tax evasion.
没跟你说话
I'm talking to him.
是因为你看错那个倾听娃娃了吗
Is this because you were wrong about the listening doll?
是因为我重新开始播出节目
Is it because I'm getting the show back on the air
而你不行吗
and you couldn't?
并不是我没有要求很多
No. I did not make too many demands.
我只想得到我们应得的
I demanded our worth.
他什么都没说
He didn't say anything.
我知道
I'm aware.
你能说句话吗
Would you please say something?
随便说句话都行
Anything? Please?
他们把你名字拼错了
They spelled your name wrong.
杰夫他妈的去哪了
Where the fuck is Jeff?
你手粘奖杯上了是吧
Your hand is glued to that trophy, isn't it?
没有
No!
我感觉自己就该在那里
I feel like I'm supposed to be someplace.
- 抱歉电梯关闭 - 为了科学哦
- Sorry, elevator's closed. - For science.
这可是紧要关头啊
Okay, moment of truth.
我好紧张
I'm nervous.
你是天才
You're a genius.
不我失败了
No. I failed.
帮我彼得
Fix me, Peter.
这是冯·特拉普大派对之夜
It's the night of the Von Trapp's big party.
玛利亚小姐在中庭
Fraulein Maria is out on the patio
教弗朗德里希《兰德勒舞曲》
teaching Friedrich the Laendler.
打住别说了
Stop. Don't do that.
队长出现在门口拍了下儿子的肩膀
Captain appears in the doorway, taps his son on the shoulder...
用戴着干净白手套的手握住玛利亚
Takes Maria's hand in his crisp, white glove.
- 拜托彼得 - 最终两个人有情人终成眷属
- Peter, please. - Together at last.
在奥地利的月光下
Their two bodies gliding
他们二人的舞步协调一致
in perfect synchronicity under the Austrian moonlight.
这没用的
It's not gonna work.
深情注视无暇其他他们甚至都没注意到
So lost in each other's eyes, they don't even notice...
男爵夫人来了
Notice The Baroness approach.
他从未爱过她
He never loved her.
从来没有
Never.
队长为了玛利亚心都化了
The Captain's heart melts for Maria,
但她向上帝发过誓
but she made a vow to God,
所以她才放弃了他
which is why she breaks away from him.
- 有点喘不过气 - 嗯
- Breathless. - Yep.
脸红了
- Blushing.
- 被迷住了 - 阿门
- Beguiled - Amen.
多谢你陪我啊
Thanks for spending time with me.
一直没这么舒坦过
I hadn't been getting out much.
哪里哪里多谢你给的肝
No, thanks for the liver.
我现在该去看看吉尔了
now I should go see Jill.
明白
I understand.
我应该去买♥♥点乒乓球加一瓶蛋黄酱
I should go buy some ping pong balls and a jar of mayonnaise.
乒乓球放袜子里蛋黄酱抹手上
Ping pong balls go in a sock. Mayonnaise in my hand.
- 手♥淫♥用 - 嗯
- To masturbate. - Yeah.
祝你跟小煎饼相处愉快
Well, good luck with Pancake.
谢谢
Thank you.
她真希望你把离婚协议签了
She really wants you to sign those divorce papers.
是呢
Oh, right.
你说话咋这么像我啊
Why do you sound like me?
我看你节目学的英语
I learned English from watching your show.
我只听了这一种声音所以我也就只有这种口音了
It was the only voice I heard, so it's the only voice I have.
杰夫
Jeff?
你还在吗
You still there?
今天我必须要跟好朋友道别了
I have to say good-bye to my best friend today,
但感觉我还是下不去手签字
but I don't think I can sign the papers.
我要是签了就没朋友了
If I sign them, I won't have any friends left.
深表遗憾杰夫
I'm sorry, Jeff.
要是你向自己的色情玩偶二重身配音员
If you're calling your puppet erotica voice double
寻求夫妻关系建议的话
for relationship advice,
我相信你
I believe you.
那我要怎么办
So what should I do?
你得继续生活签了协议
You have to move on. Sign the papers.
我不想自己做这事
Ugh. I don't wanna do it alone.
我想让她和我一起
I want her to be there with me.
她电♥话♥号♥多少
What's her number?
没事的你大可信我
It's okay. You can trust me.
614 124
Six-one-four, one-two-four,
four-three-two-four.
嗨我是吉尔抱歉没接到你的电♥话♥
Hi, it's Jill. Sorry I missed your call.
请留言哈
But please leave a message.
你好吉尔是我杰夫