He picks me up all the time.
Will, we gotta go.
We gotta catch a plane.
Where are we going?
The middle of the South China Sea.
Mom's wondering where I am.
Tell her the truth.
You have a pretty cool job.
You know, one day, this could be your pretty cool job.
What do you mean?
I've handpicked three of the kindest,
most selfless people from all over the world,
including Herr Gherkin von Deutschland back there...
...to protect and nourish the world's children.
Pickles are men and women
selected for their high moral caliber,
不喝酒 不吸毒 不说脏话的人
a parliament of the righteous
who don't drink, use drugs,
invoke bad or discouraging language,
and they don't have sex
unless they're in a loving relationship.
But for children.
I see that same goodness in you.
I see that potential to shape the world.
No matter what happens with your mom and I,
I'll always be your father.
And you'll always be both
...and, if you want...
We are a family.
Welcome to that family.
Can Pickles do magic tricks?
You can be the first.
Want me to tie that?
I know how.
Is that the crew from 60 Minutes?
They've seen him at his worst.
They should see him at his best.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier.
You're doing a better job than I expected you to.
Why do you have to qualify that?
See you at the bottom.
We offer this prayer for our dear loved one,
who has left this world and is returning to you.
As we commit this man to the sea,
the water will fill the barrel's bunghole...
Yes, that's really what it's called.
...and slowly sink our beloved friend
to his final resting place
on the floor of the sanctuary of the sea.
A devoted husband, father...
A devoted father...
who acknowledged, by the actions that he took...
I'll meet you in the life raft.
We have to get up every day
and take a leap of faith.
He was thrown off a roof!
Se?or Pepinillo, please.
We are contractually obligated to repeat what you say.
When you speak, you are speaking for all of us.
Will you not stop until you get all of us killed?
Smorgas Gurka, that's not true.
And you don't have to honk like that.
You don't mean that... Chinese Pickles.
I'm sorry. I forgot your name.
I'm sorry. I forgot your name.
His sister touched my brother's penis!
Now he is missing.
I don't even know if he is alive.
什么 不 我
What? No, I-I...
All right, who did that?
Who threw that? Who threw that?
We all have to take a "calm me down" breath.
How about a "go fuck yourself" breath?
Shut up, kid.
This is not who we are.
This is not who we are!
If you are not a Pickle,
then I am not a Pickle.
腌黄瓜先生 求你了 别这样
Se?or Pepinillo, por favor, no.
- 我们怎么办 - 看啊
- What do we do? - Look!
I found a crate of vodka!
Didn't you hear?
Their god is dead,
priests are thirsty,
and this ship is about to dock in Gomorrah.
No one can help us now.
Vodka for everyone!
I'm sorry I brought you on this trip.
I think I finally killed somebody.
You didn't do anything wrong.
You told the truth,
in song with puppets.
Gravity killed him.
Thanks for saying that.
爸爸 我知道我这话很老套 但
Dad, I know how this is going to sound, but...
it's going to be okay.
All of it.
I think I know how I can put everything back the way it was.
Mom's getting remarried.
Peter is gonna propose.
it's probably happening right now.
Who wants to see a magic trick?
I will now
make this can of beer