开玩笑第二季第八集

Kidding S02E08

Part3

2020年6月1日 15:53

我发现老男人
I find the salt and pepper
加金钱
combined with the money
确实能让女人亢奋你懂我的意思吧
really gets women's dicks hard, if you know what I mean.
我也喜欢和女人寻欢作乐
I also love pleasuring women.
我们以前怎么没聊过这个
How have we not talked about this?
我对你说过很多次
I'm always like, "Last night, I pleasured this woman,"
但你好像没什么兴趣听我讲
and you're, like, never paying attention.
我有兴趣听啊
I'm listening to you.
有的时候我觉得你根本不在意我在说什么
Sometimes it feels like you're listening at me, you know?
你这话什么意思
What does that mean?
我这样说你又会觉得被冒犯到了
And then you get defensive.
好吧抱歉
Well, I'm sorry.
我发誓我会试着更好地与你交流
I-I-I promise I'll try to communicate better.
经过这几周的共事
You've been an indispensable friend
你已经变成了我不可缺少的伙伴
over these last few weeks.
我也有同感
I feel the same way.
是吗
Really?
你能这么说我很欣慰
That means so much.
斯科特我得...
Scott, I need to, uh...
天哪自从我十三岁起
God, I've been picturing myself having this conversation
我就一直在构想和别人进行这个对话
since I was 13 and now I don't know
- 但现在我又不知该如何开口... - 航♥天♥水獭还我
- how to start... - I want Astronotter back.
你♥他♥妈♥搞毛啊迪迪
What the fuck, Dee Dee?
这位女士惹到你了吗斯科特兄
Is this woman bothering you, Scottson?
不她就是我跟你说的那位
No, she's the one I was telling you about.
你谁啊
Who are you?
你不知道我是布莱克·格里芬吗
Blake Griffin?
搞运动的吗
Sports?
是啊
Yeah.
我们说话正说到一半呢
We were having a conversation.
她有机会
She has the opportunity
去一个没有哪个玩偶去过的地方
to go where no puppet has gone before.
- 太空吗 - 这是你的第一直觉吗
- Space? - Wow, first guess.
错误
Boop!
你可以把她要回去
You can have her back
只要花一笔2800万的小钱
for the low, low price of $28 million.
求你了这对我真的很重要
Please, this is really important to me.
我知道这事真是让我惊掉了下巴
I know, it's... it's... it's... it's incredible,
所以我才没对你说不
and that's why I'm not saying no.
布莱克·格里芬对你说的不
Blake Griffin is saying no.
我要说的是有多远滚多远
I'm saying go fuck yourself.
- 天哪 - 真是噩梦
- Oh, my God. - Nightmare.
我竟然和这家伙生活了二十五年
25 fucking years, man!
真不知道你是怎么熬过来的
I don't know how you did it.
你帮我打开吧斯科特
You open it, Scott.
我做不到
I can't.
你确定要我开吗
You sure?
"迪尔德丽·皮奇里洛女士
"Miss Deirdre Piccirillo,
日方非常欢迎您
the Japanese Design Exchange Program
加入他们1987至1988年间的
is absolutely terrified to welcome you
设计交流项目"
to their 1987-'88 program."
怎么了
What?
你知道日本离我们有6350英里远吗
You know Japan is 6,350 miles away?
我会一直生活在
I'd be a day ahead of you,
你我爸甚至杰夫的前一天
my father, even Jeff.
我要独自生活在一个
I'd pretty much be in a completely different world,
几乎和这里完全不同的世界中
living my own life.
所以呢
So?
我认为你应该去
I think you should go.
这里有什么可想念的呢
What are you gonna miss here?
而且也只有一年罢了
It's only a year.
什么都不会变的
Nothing's gonna change.
我看都不会看别的女孩
I don't even look at other girls.
你发梢分叉了
You have split ends.
高中的最后一年
Last year in high school,
也是你们为接下来的人生
but it's your beginning
做好规划的伊始
for what you're gonna be doing in life,
你会开始关注各种各样的就业机会
and you're gonna be looking at all sorts of career opportunities,
你会边查大学信息边问自己
you're gonna be looking at colleges, and you're gonna say,
"我要做什么我想做什么"
"What am I gonna do? What do I want to do?"
为自己的梦想努力拼搏吧
Reach for it, you know.
尽可能地突破自我
Go... push yourself as far as you can.
我要去日本
I'm going to Japan.
第二十五次航♥天♥飞机发射任务
So the 25th space shuttle mission
历经一再推迟
is now on the way
终于成功进行
after more delays than NASA cares to count.
而在今晨似乎出现了
This morning, it looked as though
依然不能正常发射的问题
they were not going to be able to get off.
能把声音调小点吗
Would you please turn that down?
看起来有两个固体火箭助推器
Looks like a couple of the, uh, solid rocket boosters,
在爆♥炸♥中从飞船的侧面
uh, blew away from the side of the shuttle
被炸飞了
in an explosion.
怎么了
Jeff?
今天早上我看到电视报道
This morning, I saw television
让全世界孩子们的梦想都破灭了
kill the dreams of children all over the world.
要是我也能用同样的媒介治愈他们呢
What if I use that same power to heal them?
什么意思
What does that mean?
我还没有具体的想法
I don't know yet.
我能帮上忙吗
Can I help?
我以为你要去日本
I thought you were supposed to go to Japan.
我现在哪都不想去
I don't wanna go anywhere right now.
准备好升空了吗航♥天♥水獭
Ready for liftoff, Astronotter?
没有迪迪
No, Dee Dee.
我有点害怕
I'm afraid to go.
真的很棒
I love it,
但我认为她不应该会说话
but I don't think she should talk.
我...
I...
感觉她应该只能
I feel like she should just make
发出一系列随机的噪声
this series of random noises.
没人能理解的声音你懂吗
I don't think anyone understands her, you know?
他是男孩子
It's a him.
好吧还是同样的建议
Oh, well, still.
这个就由你替我保管吧
Why don't you hold onto this for me?
国家航♥天♥局公♥关♥部的人回电♥话♥了
the guy from NASA public relations called back.
- 是吗 - 是的
- Yeah? - Yeah.
他说他可以试着提议
He's gonna run it up the flagpole.
而且近期就会有一次发射
But it sounds like there's a launch in a few months
他还是看着节目长大的
and he grew up with the show,
所以如果你想要的话
so he said there might be a seat on the rocket,
应该能在火箭上留出一个空位
if you want it.
是的我想要
Yes, I want it.
我记得刚才
Hey, I feel like earlier,
你打算跟我说点什么来着
you were about to say something to me.
没有我没想说什么
Mm, no, I... I don't think so, no.
你想...
What...
让开
Move!
你♥他♥妈♥想干嘛
What the fuck are you doing?
航♥天♥水獭会坐上那艘火箭
Astronotter is getting on that rocket.
布莱克我很抱歉
Blake, I apologize.
重复我的话
Repeat after me!
航♥天♥水獭会坐上那艘火箭
Astronotter is getting on that rocket.
这不是人类的谈判方式
This is not how human beings negotiate.
- 快说 - 不
- Say it! - No!
这是我的水獭是我争取来的
This is my otter! I earned it!
别闹谢乐尔快说
Not now, Sheryl. Say it.
你想要航♥空♥水獭吗我跟你做个交易
You want Astronotter? I'll make you a deal.
每周多给我一天跟女儿相处的时间
Give me one more day a week with my daughter.
什么
What?
反正你在这忙着砍我也没工夫照看她
Is somebody even watching her right now?
每周多一天
One more day a week.