开玩笑第二季第九集

Kidding S02E09

Part2

2020年6月1日 15:53

小迪欢迎光临
Dee Dee, welcome.
这是安布尔我的女性女友
Oh, this is Amber,my female girlfriend.
我们得谈谈天文学家的事
We need to talkabout Astronotter.
现在不太合适哦
Oh, it‐‐it's not a good time.
你让我过来的
You said to come over.
我知道啊我想让你来参观我的豪♥宅♥的
I know.I wanted you to see the house.
超级大对吧作为一个房♥子来说
It's big, isn't it?For a house.
我们得谈谈天文学家的事
We need to talkabout Astronotter.
我们已经谈过了
We already had that discussion
我说了绝无可能
and I said it wasn'tgoing to happen.
布莱克·格里芬也在场啊那个运动明星
Blake Griffin was there.The‐‐the sports person.
- 这有什么关联吗 - 没关联
‐ How is that relevant?‐ It's not.
布莱克·格里芬是我的朋友
Blake Griffinis a friend of mine.
我有个提议
I have an offer for you.
你付不起的
You can't afford me.
但你还是会想听听的
Still...you'll wanna hear it.
所以我们同意关于公共财产
Which brings us to the revised terms
修改过后的条款
for the division of communal assets.
我的委托人将失去对天文学家的所有权
My client will forfeit Astronotter,
一项价值2140万美元的知识产权
an intellectual propertyso valued at $21.4 million...
打结的马价值1820万美元的
...Snagglehorse,intellectual property value
知识产权
of $18.2 million.
无聊的悲伤者价值2610万美元的
Ennui Le Triste,with an intellectual property
知识产权
value of $26.1 million.
尤克拉里价值2900万美元
Uke‐Larry, $29 million.
砰砰跳的小心脏 940万美元
Thump‐Thump, $9.4 million,
哎呀 1240万美元
and The Oops, $12.4 million.
根据条款我的委托人佩雷拉先生
And per our terms,my client, Mr. Perera,
在放弃了以上提及的所有
forfeits his rights to the aforementioned
知识产权的条件下
intellectual propertiesand in return,
将被授予马迪·佩雷拉的
he will be granted sole custody
单独监护权
of one, Maddy Perera.
没错
Yes, that's right.
你想让我做什么
What do you want me to do?
说点什么
Say something.
说点什么吧求你了
Say something, please.
说点什么吧
Say something.
说点什么吧
Say something. Say something.
说点什么吧
Say something.
那台兰博基尼之后又遭遇了什么呢
What happenedto the Lamborghini?
你就是那台兰博基尼
You're the Lamborghini.
我们能不能也买♥♥台兰博基尼
Can we also have a Lamborghini?
我们会经常见面的
I'm gonna see you all the time.
在周末见面哦大多数周末吧
On the weekends...most weekends.
早先答应过周末见面
Previously agreed to weekends.
以及海上的两周
As well as two weeks during
名人邮轮旅行时间
Celebrity Cruise LinesPride at Sea.
你去爸爸家的时候能不能带上桃乐丝
Can you bring Dolores whenyou come to Daddy's house?
那得看你♥爸♥爸的了
Well, that's up to your father.
可以啊迪尔德丽把她的斧头带上
Go ahead, Deirdre.Give her the axe.
爱你午餐虫
Love you, Lunch Bug!
是说意大利顿饭吗
Was it the risotto?
有事吗
Yeah?
怎么了
What happened?
- 我跟神经科医生聊过了 - 如何
‐ I spoke to the neurologist.‐ Yeah?
他中风了
He had a stroke.
他不能
He isn't...
他不能说话了
He's not, uh...speaking.
他们也不确定他什么时候能好
They don't know if he'sgonna be able to come back.
但是
But...
我得跟他谈谈
but I need to talk to him.
我得我做到了
I need...I did it.
我成功了
I made‐‐I made it happen.
让一切重回正轨
I did it.I fixed it.
我得去接威尔了
I gotta go get Will.
你想了解这一切吗
You want the end of this?
我跟那个拿到菲尔的肺的家伙聊过了
I spoke to the guywho got Phil's lungs.
我再也不会抽烟或者大♥麻♥啥的了
I'm never smokinganything again.
所以你要去见那个得到肺的家伙了吗亲眼见吗
So are you gonna meet the lungs in person, like the eyes?
还是说他比较愿意在电♥话♥里沟通
Or...are lungs better over the phone?
我们在旅馆里待了一周
We're staying in a hotel for a week.
我妈说我只能去上学去旅馆
My mom says I can only goto the school and hotel,
所以我绝对没办法去看移植了菲尔肺的家伙
so I definitely can't go seethe guy who has Phil's lungs
也绝对没办法带我女朋友出去
and I definitely can't takemy girlfriend out anywhere.
你应该在水族馆跟她亲热的
You should make outwith her at the aquarium.
我都是去那里疗愈我的季节性抑郁
That's where I treatmy seasonal depression.
都是海豚的功劳
It's the dolphins, man.
它们的悲伤吞噬了我的悲伤
Their sadness eats my sadness.
清新口气哦
For your kiss breath.
你是谁
Who are you?
我是杰夫·腌黄瓜
I'm Jeff Pickles.
以前有一个老的杰夫·腌黄瓜
There was an old Jeff Pickles,
现在该有个新的了
but now it's timefor a new one.
就是我咯
That's me.
老杰夫在你妈妈杀了你兄弟的时候迷失了
The old Jeff lost his way whenyour mom killed your brother.
然后她跟老杰夫离婚了开始跟另一个人约会
Then she divorced him,started seeing another man
让老杰夫都心碎了
and that broke him completely.
你妈妈是个护士
Your mom, she's a nurse.
她宣誓过南丁格尔誓的
She took the Nightingale Pledge.
你知道南丁格尔誓吗
Do you knowthe Nightingale Pledge?
是这样说的
It goes like this...
我将戒除一切有害的东西
I will abstain from what is deleterious.
你知道deleterious 这个词什么意思吗
Do you know what deleterious means?
有害的
It means...harmful.
但很不幸你妈妈挺害人的
And unfortunately,your mother is very harmful.
她开着车
She was driving the car.
应该告诉菲尔系上安全带的
She should've told Philto put his seat belt on.
她伤害了他
She harmed him.
我不想她也伤害你
I don't want herto harm you too.
我妈妈没有杀我哥哥
My mom didn't kill my brother.
抱歉但是是她干的
I'm sorry, but she did.
不
No.
他还活着
He's still alive.
什么
What?
我看过他的眼睛那是他的眼睛
I looked into his eyes.They were his eyes.
我盯着他的眼睛他的眼睛也看着我
I stared into themand they stared back.
他的肺的新主人给我发了邮件我也回复了
His lungs wrote me an emailand I emailed them back.
他心脏的新主人跑完20迈之后
I talkedto his heart on the phone
我也跟他打电♥话♥了
after it ran 20 miles.
他的心脏要去跟身体一起受训跑马拉松了
His heart is trainingto run a marathon.
等于是菲尔受训跑马拉松了
Phil is trainingto run a marathon.
把这个放后备箱
Put this in the trunk.
我不会伤害你的腌黄瓜朋友
I'm not gonna hurt you,pickle pal.
当该做决定给的时候就做决定吧
* When it's time to makea choice, make a choice
你只需要听从真实的声音
* You only need to listento the voice that's true
来吧威尔我们得走了
Come on, Will.We gotta go.
现在我是你♥爸♥了
I'm your dad now.
老爸
Dad?
腌黄瓜先生
Mr. Pickles.
他刚刚把那个人打惨了
He just beatthe shit out of that guy.
威尔
Will?
能告诉我他跟你说了什么吗
Can you tell mewhat he said to you?
没事的
It's okay.
他说他是新的杰夫·腌黄瓜了
He said thathe's the new Jeff Pickles.
我们都知道只有一个杰夫·腌黄瓜
Well, we all know thatthere's only one Jeff Pickles
而且他是不戴头套的
and he doesn't wear a mask.
还说什么了
What else did he say?
说我妈
Um, that my mom...
说她毁了一切
that she ruined everything
因为她杀了我哥哥
because she killed my brother.