开玩笑第二季第十集

Kidding S02E10

Part2

2020年6月1日 15:53

谢谢
Thank you.
冲啊
Charge!
今晚怎么台阶这么多了
I feel like there's more steps tonight.
他们是不是加了几个台阶
They might've put some in.
你知道可以花6万美元
Did you know that you can actually rent out
租下纽约公共图书馆
the New York Public Library
作为私人用途场所吗
for a private function for $60,000?
你怎么知道的
‐ Why do you know that?‐
我要吐了
I think I'm gonna puke.
不行你不能吐你还没到家呢
No, you‐‐you're not gonna puke,'cause you're right here.
太多人喜欢你了
Too many people like you.
没有
No.
没人非让你把答谢酒都喝了啊
No one said you had to drink the thank‐you drinks.
- 我现在就是个酒桶 - 钥匙呢
‐ I'm a bag of liquid.‐ Keys?
我能开门
I can open my door.
- 我知道你能 - 别
‐ I know you can.‐ Stop...
我现在正要让你开门呢
And that's what I'm gonnalet you do right now.
别凶我
...yelling at me.
我喜欢你的那两位跳舞的朋友
I like your dance friends.
那很好啊
That's good.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
Good night.
是爵士音乐太吵了吗
Is the jazz too loud?
坐下
Sit down.
坐地上
On the floor.
坐下
Sit down.
把你的鞋带绑一起
Tie your shoelaces together.
我能说话了吗
Can I talk?
到时候你就知道了
You'll know when to talk.
好的
Okay.
手放屁♥股♥下面
And sit on your hands.
我爱上你了
I'm falling for you.
我也爱你
I love you too.
- 别这么说 - 我是认真的
‐ You need to stop saying that.‐ I mean it.
但不是像我爱你那样的爱
But not in the way that I mean it.
不是敷衍的回报式爱
It's not unrequited.
那就吻我
Then kiss me.
我觉得我的人生中
I don't think I have room in my life
好像没有你想要的那种感情
for the kind of relationship you want.
我们每次谈到这个话题
Every time we havethis conversation,
你都要我假装这不是爱情
I am told to pretend this is something it isn't.
我不想去爱任何人
I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with anyone.
我已经献身给了我的使命
I'm married to my mission.
你看看我是孤家寡人
Look around.I'm a monk.
我嫁给了全世界的儿童
I'm married to the children of the world.
好吧
Well...
享受你第46次
enjoy watchingThe Sound of Music
观看音乐之声
for the 46th time.
这样不公平
That's not fair.
我希望你和那闪亮的灯球儿
I hope that you and that bouncing lyric ball
能找到你们幸福的所在
find the happinessyou so richly deserve.
我爱
I love...
抱歉
Sorry.
我们的友谊
...our friendship.
我想要守护住
I wanna protect it.
这不是友谊
This isn't a friendship.
是我爱你
This is me in love with you.
我也爱你
I'm in love with you too...
像朋友一样
as a friend.
如果我们仅限于朋友
If we can't be more than friends,
那我不想和你做朋友了
I don't wanna be friendsat all.
要么我们更进一步
Either this moves forward...
要么权当没有
or it doesn't exist.
我不知道该说什么
I don't know what to tell you.
那就当做不存在吧
Then it doesn't exist.
别这样
Come on.
别
Don't‐‐
这样对大家都好
It's for the best.
今早心情好些了吗
How you feeling this morning?
很开心你来了
I'm so excited you came.
我要警告你
I'm gonna warn you:
我的朋友们很擅长八卦
my friends are really goodat trivia.
你似乎能跟得上
You seem like you can keep up.
也许你就是你
Maybe you're who you are
- 我就是我 - 真的吗
‐ and I'm who I am...‐ Oh, really?
我们永远没法对所有事情
...and we're just never gonna see eye‐to‐eye
都达成一致
about, I don't know,everything!
天啊
Jeez.
等等我要带上大衣吗
Wait, should I bring a coat?
不用反正你喝蒙了就会弄丢
No, you'll justget drunk and lose it.
真开心我们办了这么个派对
I'm really glad we threw a party.
不对像这样
Just‐‐no, like this.
就这样拿着
Just hold it like this.
不对是这样的哥们
No, like this, dude.
你每次都这么做这样
You do this every time.Hold it like this.
- 对了 - 不是这样
‐ This is!‐ No! Like this.
- 是这样 - 不对是这样
‐ Like this.‐ No, like this!
事实上
Oh, um, actually...
是第二大街不是第二大道
it is, uh, Second Street,not Second Avenue.
纽约纽约
New York, New York,
1-0-0-1-3
one‐zero‐zero‐one‐three.
谢谢
Thank you.
你落下了一个
Oh, you forgot one.
改变很多事都改变了
* Change,it's a lot of things
很怪改变让人害怕
* Strange,oh, the fear it brings
改变
* Change
它让你离家漂泊
* It takes you miles from home
历经痛苦
* It brings your pain
再收获珍贵
* Into precious view
很怪却让你面目一新
* Strange,but refreshes you
改变
* Change
生命敲打着节拍消逝
* The tickingof life's metronome
我理解为什么
* I understand why
你却相反我的爱人
* You're contrary, love
改变虽甜蜜
* Change is sweet
却可怖我的爱人
* But scary, love
英语荣誉社团的
From, uh, Sigma Tau Delta.
好的谢谢
Okay, thank you.
我知道我很扭曲
* I know I'm wry
可是我没有过分扭曲自己
* But don't out‐wryness me
永远感恩
* Just be grateful
除了我
* Minus me
改变很多事都改变了
* Change,it's a lot of things
我想你
I miss you.
我可以进来吗
May I enter?
大♥师♥
Your Holiness.
这是一点心意
A gift of thanks
感谢你邀请我来参加你的节目
for welcoming me on your program.
这个作品是我为你量身打造的
I made this creation just for you.
萨尔瓦多达♥赖♥喇♥嘛♥
Salvador Dalai Lama.
他热爱绘画
He loves to paint...
绘画也充满了爱
and paints to love.
真好谢谢你
That's nice.Thank you.
这可不是我期待的反应
This was not the reactionI was hoping for.
- 我今天有点心烦意乱 - 啊
‐ I'm...distracted today.‐ Mm.
她叫什么
What's her name?
这我不该打扰你的
It's not‐‐I‐I shouldn't bother you.
我曾经疯狂爱上了一个女人
I once fell madly in love with a woman.
一个棕发棕瞳的女人
She had brown hair and brown eyes.
她住在山上
She lived on a mountain.